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Showing posts with label Beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beauty. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Pumpkin Spice Latte Is Here, But I'm Bucking The System And Not Giving Up These Anti-Fall Beauty Favorites

Listen, I'm super friggin' over Summer. It's still so ungodly hot out that I can't even leave my house, and I am completely ready for cooler Fall weather. BUT, that doesn't mean that I'm prepared for the onslaught of all things Fall-themed. The fact that Starbucks already released the Pumpkin Spice Latte is just ridiculous. IT'S TOO DAMN SOON, MAN.


Fall or not, there are a few beauty things that tend to be regarded as #SUMMERLEMONADEBIKINIWATERMELONBLAHHHH that I absolutely refuse to leave behind as I jump into a damn pile of leaves or whatever. Let's discuss.

 Shiny White Talons
I really love white nails. And not only because they are the color of unicorns' fur. Don't be ridiculous. (Okay, that's totally part of it.) But they're typically thought of as the epitome of a Summer color, with that fogey-ass "no white after Labor Day" nonsense. 

So you can imagine my complete and total (Sunny) delight when Floss Gloss sent me their new Fall/Winter polish colors, and one of them was the baddest beyotch of a white polish called Mrs. Tony Montana ($8). This nail polish is a little piece of marshmallow-y perfection. It doesn't streak at all, and goes on without a damn hitch, which is UNHEARD of in a opaque white polish. I love this baby polish, I'll never let it go. No matter what season.

Bright-Mouthed B
(I'm wearing CoverGirl Lip Perfection in Spellbound)
I know, I know. Fall times are all about a vampy lip and shit. And don't get me wrong, I adore a dark lipstick. I really consider myself to be at least 67% emo. But that doesn't mean that I'm planning on giving up bright pink lips any-dang-time soon. It's just pretty, and I'm not ready. Whatever.

If you want to keep on keepin' on with the brightness, you don't have to spend 7.2 billion dollars on a crazy pink lipstick. (Although I do love the Make Up For Ever Aqua Rouge Fuschia lip.) If you can't really get spendy right now, I totally feel you sister. Luckily, CoverGirl and NYX both make pretty fantastic bright lips. I'm keeping it pink, baby. (And red. And dark. I WANT IT ALL, AND I WANT IT NOW.)

Lazy Messy Hair

Most people probably call this "beachy hair," but I veto that because I don't like the damn beach. Whatever you want to call this deal, I will not be giving it up when the season is over. This style is my go-to, mainly because it's the laziest lazy that's ever lazied and doesn't look terrible.

Here's how I do the damn thing: when I get out of the shower, I wait until my hair is damp, then spray it with a light leave-in conditioner and brush it through. Ideally, you would want to skip the brushing to maintain waves/curls, but my hair is fine and just gets tangled as shit, so I have to brush it. Then I spray Sally Hershberger Supreme Lift Root Spray at the roots on the top and crown of my head, and blow dry just my bangs. I let the rest of my air dry, then spray a surf spray (Bumble and bumble is my ride-or-die, but this Wella one isn't too bad, either.) throughout the length of my hair and scrunch it like it's 1989 in this piece, until it's all dry. Total time of doing actual things? Like two minutes.

If I want it a little more done and wavy, I'll pick out a few pieces and wrap them around a curling iron. Usually I don't, because lazy.


What are you unwilling to let go of from the Summertimes? Don't worry, I won't make you stop, like, ever. Get off our asses, Fall. We do what we want.





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Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote


This month for Allure I covered one of the best things about these turrible Summertimes: movies. I reached way back into my horrible brain and pulled out all of the very best beauty looks from Summer blockbuster movies, with the aptly titled, "The 14 Hottest Beauty Looks From Summer Blockbuster Movies."

I used Grease for the jump off, because no doy. Check out the rest of the list here.



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Saturday, June 28, 2014

Mug Makeover: Gwen Stefani Edition

The other day I was reading this article over at Refinery29, and came across this bomb picture of Gwen Stefani. It was like watching Jonathan Brandis (RIP) in Ladybugs** -- I fell in love all over again. GS is usually looking consistently fly, so it's not like I expected anything different from her ass, but I feel like this makeup look is slightly different from her regular deal and I wanted that shit on my face immediately.

pic via refinery29
I've recreated it below in a few easy steps, so read on, reader, if you want Gwennie's glorious face on your face. (Without getting all Buffalo Bill-y and illegal.)


P.S. I would (almost but not quite) literally kill for that kimono.

I started with the eyes, which are really pretty simple and low key, with a touch of shimmer. (But NOT glitter, the nemesis of soul windows everywhere.) I'm using the Lorac Starry-Eyed Baked Eye Shadow Trio in Pro Star, which I can't friggin' find anywhere, but this Superstar palette ($27) is super-similar.


Start by applying a shimmery brown shadow from the crease to the lash line.


Follow up by using a light bronze-y eyeshadow in the crease and also on the bottom lash line.


Next apply some black liner on the upper lash line only. I'm pretty ride-or-die liquid liner in this situation, but live your life and use whatever eyeliner you like. I used the Marc Jacobs Magic Marc'er Precision Pen Waterproof Eyeliner ($30) because I LOVE THAT SHIT.


Finish off with a powerful mascara, because Gwen's lashes be bangin' in this face case. I'm using Rimmel Scandaleyes Rockin' Curves Mascara ($6.99), that CVS Beauty Club so kindly sent me to sample, along with the Rimmel lipstick that I use in a hot minute. The mascara is actually pretty boss. It makes my lashes seem as long as a Real Housewives Reunion show, parts one through seven, but 309485% less boring.


For lips, I started by lining with MAKE UP FOR EVER Aqua Lip Waterproof Lipliner Pencil in Bright Baby Pink ($19), because it's just what I happened to have lying around. Once again, use what you wish, but definitely use a liner with a bright lip like this to prevent that rude bitch, lipstick feathering.


The last step is to throw on a bright reddish-pink lipstick, like Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick in As You Want Victoria ($6.99). I really enjoy the shade of this 'stick, but I had to get used to the moisturizing aspect. I'm usually more of a matte lip kind of mofo, so I had to do some reapplying as the hours ticked by. But the formula feels like a dream, so it's worth the extra seconds of reapply time.


That's it, here's the finished product. I might not look as much like a flawless creamy-skinned elf as Gwen, but I'm completely into this face.


What do you guys think? Are you into Mizz Gwen's look? You don't even know how hard I had to fight against making a "Hella Good" reference here, so tell your brains "you're welcome" for the reprieve from my typical terrible puns.

** I used to carry around a folded-up pictures of Jonathan Brandis in my pocket in Elementary school. I was an avid reader of Tiger Beat, Big Bopper, et al, and I would rip out pictures of JB and carry them until they pretty much deteriorated into ransom-letter-like scraps.



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Sunday, June 1, 2014

Poppin' Bottles On Summer Polishes: The China Glaze Off Shore Collection

I'm really trying not to be a broken record in this bitch, but it's hot. And when the going gets hot, that really only means one thing: It's Summa, Summa, Summatime (Summatime). I kind of hate Summer, because it's just so damn sunny and people are always all, "It's BEAUTIFUL out," which is just pretty much the opposite of my life's motto. Plus, I refuse to wear a bathing suit, or even shorts, so this shit just ain't for me. In a nutshell.

Everyone else in the Summertimes:


Me in the Summertimes:


There is one exception to my general grumpy ass-ness when it comes to all things Summer -- I LOVE A BRIGHT NAIL POLISH. This is the time of year when all of the polish brands release their brightest and cheeriest hues, and I was lucky enough to get to sample the newest from China Glaze, with their Off Shore Collection.

If you can actually follow along with my cluster eff of a photo below, you can get a hands-on view of what the collection is working with.

china glaze off shore collection, $7.50 each
Every bit of the polishes are appropriately vivid, and all but one of them are a creme finish. (The deep orange-y "Stoked to be Soaked" has a semi-pearly look.) There are a few of the lighter polishes that I feel like would be best with three coats, because they're on the thin side, but overall they all go on well.

I was surprised to find that I genuinely liked all of the polishes. While just peeping them in the bottle, I felt pretty "meh" about a few initially, but after getting them up on my phalanges, I was pleasantly impressed by the entire lot.


Bottom line, if you're into colorful nail polish, these will 100% be your jam. Even if you're a straight-up grouch ass like me.


China Glaze's Off Shore Collection is available at Ulta and Sally Beauty Supply starting in June (so, like, now), so get on it. Don't worry, I'll still be holed-up in a darkened room with my beautifully bright claws.






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Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Allure Insiders Get The Look: Mariah Carey "Honey" Tutorial



MY FIRST ALLURE INSIDERS VIDEO IS OUT, YOU GUYS. This one is near and dear to my heart because it's all about Mariah Carey. But not now-times Mariah, I'm all about MC in the "Honey" video. It's one of my favorites because it combines so many incredible things: Kangol hats, jet skis, zip-up swimwear and clip-on ponytails. So, check it out and see what you think.

I'll be coming out with a new video every other Tuesday, so I'll post them here if you feel like perusing the goodies.

P.S. I've been out of town for the past several days, so I'll get back to the reg when I get back into town tomorrow night. Sorry for being a crap-ster, part 23984039284.







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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote


In my latest piece for Allure I dug into the vintage TV commercial archives and pulled out the best hot ass beauty looks of the past three decades, in "Flashback! The Best Beauty Moments From Childhood TV Commercials." You can check it out here.




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Monday, May 12, 2014

Gross Beauty Probs, Quit Killing My Vibe.

It's always something with me, man. I can't just let shit be. I'm constantly stressing myself out over SOMETHING beauty-related. My current freak out is getting rid of all things gross on my body. More specifically, dead face skin and hard water hair distgusting-ness.


After massive amounts of research (okay, googling), I found two products that pretty much slayed these annoying issues. So now I can be on to the next one. Great.

Hard Water Hair: Malibu Hard Water Treatment


I really got the idea of how shitty my water is stuck in my brain wrinkles after I started using Keracolor Purify Plus. I began obsessing over the hard water stains on my shower door that I just couldn't get off and thinking, "IF THE WATER IS DOING THIS TO GLASS, WHAT THE EFF IS IT DOING TO MY HAIR???" So I started researching about how to rid hair of hard water deposits, which can eff your hair game up MAJOR.

That's when I came across the Malibu C Hard Water Weekly Demineralizer. It comes in a box of individualized packets that you use once a week. You shampoo, use the treatment, shampoo, then condition. The first time I used the Malibu C, I noticed that it said it contained "crystals" on the package, so naturally I was picturing this:


Don't get excited. It's just a powder that you mix with water to create a paste and leave on your hair for five minutes. Because it's kind of a drying type deal, I followed it up with my OG deep conditioner, L'Oreal Nature's Therapy Mega Moisture Nurturing Creme. I've used the treatment twice so far, and it's removed any brassiness from my hair and made my highlights brighter. Score one for the hard water-afflicted bitches.

Gross Dead Skin: Pure Aqua Gel Exfoliator



I read about this Japanese exfoliation product a while back, and I knew that I must try it. Because if you don't love something that exfoliates your face skin like a GD champ, then I don't know what to say to you anymore, quite frankly. Cure Aqua Gel is reportedly Japan's top selling skin care product, or so Amazon tells me, so I really felt like I had no choice but to shell out the 35 bones and try this shit.

The issue that I ran into after getting the bottle is that all of the instructions are in Japanese. So I did a little digging and found out how to use this stuff, and then made a little video showing you what the deal is with Cure.



After using Cure a couple times, I'm pretty ride-or-die on this stuff. It's not cheap, but if you're into exfoliating, it will be your jam. You can cop it from Amazon here.

I'm off to figure out my next beauty dilemma (ft. Kelly Rowland) to harp on like a nagging hen. I love life.





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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

this looks disgusting but it was amazing

This month for Allure, I get back to my roots, and talk about glorious food. I'm pairing up your favorite snack with an inspired beauty look. Check it out here.



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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Snitching On My New Favorite Hair Stuffs

Last week I broke it down about my terrible skin probs, and this week I'm kicking it to another problem area -- my thirsty hair. I have really, really fine hair, so the longer it gets the more of a basic, annoying b it becomes. My natural hair (I'm almost always wearing clip-in weave) it at that bra strap-level point now, so it's starting to rebel like a 13 year old girl and get all tangle-y and unmanageable.

Luckily, I have found a couple of products that have made my hair life immensely easier, and kept me from having constant tumble weed head.

Keracolor Purify Plus & my shitty water
My first new buddy is really kind of badass. The peeps at Keracolor sent me their new product called Purify Plus, which takes all of the shitty stuff in your water, like chlorine and trace minerals, and kicks it to the curb, like it's 1997. Okay, so it really neutralizes the impurities, or something more scientific, but you know what I mean. And with the spray came a little kit for me to test my water for all of that badness, which made me be all:


So I put some of my crap water (not literally, don't be sick) in the tube, then put some of the science drops (I have no idea what they were) in the water tube thing. If there's chlorine in the water, the drops turn it ol' yeller.


Uh oh, it's looking a little pee lite. That ain't good, man. Chlorine is kind of a c-block to banging hair, causing funky color changes and brittleness, and homie don't play that. The next part of this mini experiment was to add the Purify Plus to the water.


Annnnd buh-bye yellow times! Mr. Wizard would be really proud of me. Or maybe yell at me a little.

Here's the low down: I've been using the spray for a few weeks now, and I'm completely into it. I don't really know what my hair/hair color would look like without it at this point, because I use it every day. I'M PROTECTING MYSELF BEFORE I WRECK MYSELF. It's also really lightweight, but as moisturizing as a light leave-in conditioner. So you can totally use it in conjunction with your other hair prods as you wish, Buttercup.

Keracolor Purity Plus is a salon-only kind of deal and will run you $20, so contact them here to see where you can cop your own bottle, AND PROTECT YO' SELF.


My next new hair baby daddy's daddy is something that I had heard rumblings about on the beauty streets, but didn't understand what the fuss was all about. I'm the type that, typically, gives zero effs about a hair brush. I could use a Barbie brush or a dinglehopper, for all I care.

But like I said earlier, the longer my hair is, the more of a pain in the ass it becomes, and when it gets to its current length, it gets really hard to brush through. Even with a wide tooth comb. Or wide-set fingers. So I decided to give into the rumors, and buy a Wet Brush.

The Wet Brush (Sally's, $7.99)
I was expecting this puppy to be way over-hyped, but I was a wrong, wrong bitch. This brush is a friggin' miracle worker. It glides through my tangled, wet hair with the greatest of ease. It brushes through the knots that I get at the base of my head in less than zero seconds. A tiny sorcerer might live inside this thing. I don't really know, and I can't really be bothered, but I'm obsessed.

What new hair products are you guys into? What are all the kids doing these days, besides that chapstick on the eyelids business?





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Thursday, April 24, 2014

SMMFS (Save My Mutha F@*&%#$ Skin)

I have not been shy with you about my long, storied past (and present) skin issues. I've had bad skin for 20 dumb years now, and there seem to be no signs of stopping this beastly trainwreck. It's not cute. No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom album could have been named after the topography of my skin. (Or a play on words with Magic Kingdom, but whatever.)

Most of my issues have always surrounded acne, and it's bitch cousin, acne scarring. I've become well-versed in that crap. But since I moved to Phoenix six months ago, I have encountered new and uncharted territory. MY SKIN HAS ALSO BECOME MATURE-LOOKING AND DEHYDRATED in this lack of humidity/sun-heavy ecosystem blah blah. What. The. Eff. Am I going to have to move into a Bio-dome? Luckily, I don't venture out much.

via yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend

So now my skin life revolves around not only acne (which was off the mf-ing chain for my first five months here), but also dry weirdness and boring wrinkles. I've had just about enough of this bullshit, skin gods. Yeezus, save me. 


Kanye must have rubbed the legs of his leather sweatpants together in a certain way for me, because I have found a routine that has made my skin much, much better than it's been since I moved. If you find yourself with any of the laundry list of skin issues that I've listed above, travel along this skin brick road with me to see what's up. (Okay, that was too much and not normal. I've been watching too much Hannibal.)

Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream: Intense Hydration 
Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream: Intense Hydation (Kiehl's, $26.50)

When I started noticing the extreme dehydration of my face happening, I reached out to my Kiehl's peeps and begged them for help. They sent me the Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream Intense Hydration to try, and it has helped so, so much. I really wanted to try this cream because it was "torture-tested" by Kiehl's, in a study in the hottest and driest city in the country...Phoenix. WHERE I LIVE. And what did the test (and my face) find? That 97% of subjects showed a reduction in visible skin dryness by 30% in just 7 days. 

Here's the bottom line on this stuff: it's the perfect night-time cream for me. It doles out a ton of lasting moisture, without being heavy. It's too much for my skin for a daytime deal, because I'm still ALSO OILY. Yes, karma is a bitch. Or something. But if you're a drier skin-type this will be great for you, regardless of what time it says it is on your cuckoo clock.


tarte Maracuja Bronzing Serum
tarte Maracuja Bronzing Serum (Sephora, $47)

Speaking of daytime face stuffs, this is heaven in a shimmery bottle. I've been completely hooked on it, ever since tarte sent it to me with all of those amazing lip glosses a few weeks ago. It's not really the texture of the regular Maracuja Oil, which is also great, but it really dries to more of a matte finish that I can totally wear under makeup/sunscreen items during the day.

But besides having all of that good good junk for your mug in it, there's also a dab o' sunless tanner in the Maracuja Bronzing Serum. Just a little touch of tan. Nothing insane. You can sign my ass up forever and ever.

Clearogen 
Clearogen Acne Treatment Set (Sephora, $39.50)

I won't go on and on about Clearogen again, but I credit this stuff for finally keeping my ridiculously over-the-top breakouts in check. My skin is made of complete bullshit, and this really is the only thing that keeps me from looking like a total monster. 


I love this stuff so much that I cannot go one day without it. If fact, BRB (in AOL IM lingo), I have to go buy some more of the Acne Lotion. I WILL NOT let my face get crazy again.

 Pixi Glow Tonic
pixi Glow Tonic (pixi, $29)

I love a great toner, and this is a total bad b of a toner. It's probably made from finely pressed True Blood fairy wings, but I don't even care. (Okay, okay. It really has stuff like Glycolic Acid, Ginseng and Aloe Vera.) It exfoliates my skin and leaves it soft and buttery. 

Pixi Glow Tonic is like a refreshing alcoholic drink on a hot, disgusting day. But, you know, on your face. With an tiny umbrella. But no maraschino cherries. Those are sick.

Adovia Dead Sea Mud Soap
Adovia Dead Sea Mud Soap (Cleopatra's Choice, $11)

I bought this soap on a whim one day when I fell down a scary rabbit hole of internet beauty product shopping. One of those deals that you don't even know how you ended up somewhere, and you're just buying random shit that seems like it might work.


Well, weirdly enough, this Adovia Dead Sea Mud Soap happens to do it for me. It's one of those cleansing bars that really feels like it's getting all up in there and kicking gross stuff's ass and taking names. This would be a terrible life choice for people with dry skin, though. Proceed with caution.

Do you have a favorite skin care product? What do you swear by? TELL ME EVERYTHING.



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Monday, April 21, 2014

Build-A-Brow Workshop: For Next Level Eyebrows


Hey, have we met? If so, I'm sure you've heard the good word: I'm completely friggin' eyebrow obsessed. Eyebrows are the reason that I started this blog. Eyebrows are the reason that I get out of bed some days. I don't leave the house sans brows of some sort, ever. I pity the fool that has to see my sad sack face without them.

This annoying ass character flaw is a complete detriment to my psyche, but it is somewhat beneficial. Because of my whack, over-the-top eyebrow compulsion, I have tried tons of brow products and techniques and whittled them down to a refined non-art. Whether you prefer your brows to be fresh-to-death natural or bold and slapping mofo's eyeballs out, I've got you covered. Soup to nuts. (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?)

The Natural


If this is your brow style, you are probably fresh-faced and low maintenance. I wish I was you. Even if you're one of those "I don't really wear that much on muh face" ladies, your eyebrows need a little love 'n' such. Brow gels are right up your au nautrale alley, honey.


I really love Anastasia's Brow Gel, but I've used everything from CoverGirl clear mascara to spraying hairspray on a clean mascara wand. It's your damn life, live it how you choose. The real key here is how you apply whatever you're using. You want to brush your eyebrows up first, then over toward the end of your brow. THAT'S IT, MAYNE.

This will give you just enough natural polish to your brow game, without any color or fuss. Play on, natural playa.

The Lazy Bold Bitch


This next tier of brows is my everyday shit. It gives me plenty of boldness and hold, all in one little baby boo faced product, which is really in tune with my lazy sensibilities. This is for you if you want bangin' brows, but don't feel like completing 49850238409 steps to attain them.


This brow look is all about the Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade, which is apparently sold out everywhere, but cop it when it comes back. It's magic. It's easy to go overboard (like my favorite Goldie Hawn movie) with this stuff, so there's a method to perfection.

Instead of starting to outline your eyebrows at the start of the brows, begin at the inner bottom of the arch and follow all the way to the tail. Do the same at the top line of the brows, starting a little ways back, then fill in the whole tail end of the brows. Think of it almost like your eyebrows are an ombre dye job. Keep the darker stuff at the ends and use a lighter hand at the front. So with that in mind, fill in the front eyebrow area with just what's left on your brush after you've done the rest, to keep it natural, natch.

The Veruca Salt 


If you want to use every brow product that has ever been created in a lab and also have peeps dogging you on the street for your eyebrow secrets, like you're in some brow-centric music video, this is bud's for you. The VS brow is my "I'm trying" eyebrow go-to because, well, it takes actual effort, which is a lot for me.


To start this whirlwind, line your eyebrow starting at the very inner point closest to your nose, using a light-colored pencil, and outline the bottom line of your brow. Repeat the same deal on the top, again starting at the very inner top point. Now fill in the back tail of the brow with a darker shadow or brow powder. Next, shade in the front area with a lighter powder, which will smudge and disguise the lines you've drawn, and avoid eyebrows that could slice a b. Finish up with brow gel.

Voila, the boldest brow on the street. Veruca Salt would shove her red drop waist dress in a paper shredder to get next to your eyebrows, just so she could get them now.



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