|pic via mac cosmetics|
The MAC Cinderella Collection came out yesterday, to the delight of thousands of women that grew up with "I-will-marry-Prince-William" fantasies everywhere. And while the collection looks as lovely as a fancy-ass crystal goblet filled with a sparkling wine that didn't even come from a box, it got me thinking* -- what MAC collections would be the very best collections? If dreaming were free, what would we want to see? What if things were fanciful with glee? (Okay, I'll stop. I don't even know what I'm doing.)
Let's just look at this nonsense.
The Neverending Story
I really can't believe a TNES/MAC collab doesn't already exist. It's almost blasphemous, I tell you. HAVE YOU SEEN FALKOR'S IRIDESCENT SCALES, WORLD? They're a GD delight to the senses.
The Childlike Empress' (AKA Ssdjlskjfknvodsnvs') Smudgy Shadow Stick in Ruddy Tears
We look so sad because that damn shadow stick doesn't exist, bb.
Falkor's Flying High in the Sky Faux Lashes
Okay, so this name is terrible. But don't act like you don't covet that magic dragon's eyelashes, or you a damn lie.
Bastian's Super-Shiny Hair Serum
MAC doesn't even make haircare shit, but I think they could make an exception for this one. A bowl cut that glossy really can't be denied.
The Bluths are as glamorous as they come, and would make for an excellent line of cosmetics. Mostly because you can't spell class without ass.
Lucille's Drunken Glow Illuminating Powder
If you don't want to shine bright like Lucille Number One, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.
It's as Ann as the Nose on Plain's Face Concealer
Because we all wish that our under-eye circles were as invisible as Egg. Her?
Tobias' Nevernude Navy Eye Glitter
Tobias is easily the most colorful of the Bluth bunch, and his addition to the line would leave you tasting those meaty leading man parts in your mouth in no time.
Teen Witch is coming to Netflix on March 1, so get ready for a national holiday to be declared (in my heart). Hurry, MAC, get this mess ready for National Louise Appreciation Day.
I Will Never Be Hip Gloss
This lip gloss shall only be worn with bucket hats and '80s-flavored regrets. P.S. Can we get a TW reboot starring Jenny Slate as Polly? P.P.S. Have you ever met an actual human named Polly?
Top That Finishing Spray
Don't be such a waste of pretty face, and go ahead and try to top that...with a finishing spray. Cuffed capri-rolled jeans and jaunty Hawaiian shirts are optional.
Beverly Hills, 90210
David Silver Pigment
Do you need your eyes to sparkle with a glean that says, "I'm a dorky white teenager that's really trying to make an R&B career happen?" It's covered.
Donna Martin's Lipstick in "I'm Still a Virgin"
It's hard to believe that Donna had those rock-solid dance moves and had never gotten freaky in a Burger King bathroom. Brava.
Brenda and Dylan 4EVA Permanent Nail Glue
WARNING: This nail glue will cause a bond that will NEVER, EVER BREAK. DO YOU HEAR THAT KELLY? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
What MAC Collections would you like to be plucked from you heart and brought to reality? Let's discuss the most important issue of the day.
*trademark Carrie Bradshaw