Come with me on a short, non-magical mystery tour of Jamie Foxx (most '90s pseudonym ever, that's still in use) singing the National Anthem at that boxing thing this weekend. I say "boxing thing," because I didn't watch that shit. It's sports, which I avoid more than trips to the gynecologist.
You probably watched it. I feel like a lot of people did. But, did you truly absorb this performance of "The Star-Spangled Banner," or were you too effed up on Tostitos Scoops? I mean, it's not horrible. We don't have a Rosanne situation here. And I'm no singing expert...
but this just feels like so lounge singer-y. Listen, I loved "Blame It" and "Unpredictable" as much as the next annoying white girl in their 20s at the time, but why did this even happen? Was Mariah not available? Or even Mariah lite, I mean, Ariana Grande? Or even Eddie Murphy as Randy Watson? Give me something to work with, man.
On the positive side, please believe I'm going to start ending all of my sentences with "fallelujah -- deep pause -- hallelu..."
P.S. Someone please tell what the shit this jacket was all about. NO ZIPPER NEEDS TO BE THAT LARGE, SIR. So many pleather animals died to make that atrocity. RIP to all the plocodiles and plythons on the planet.
video via vulture Pin It