Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Meet Kat Von D's Monarch Eyeshadow Palette, The Baddest B Of The Year (Millennium?)

I know, I know. I've been talking about a buttload of eyeshadow palettes lately. BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. Okay, so I clearly needed this like I need more fibers of laziness in my being, but I just couldn't help myself. I fell in love with this mofo. And we found love in a hopeless place -- the Sephora inside a horribly crowded JC Penney, riddled with back-to-school shoppers.

Let's take a strong look at what reeled my ass in:

Meet the Kat Von D Monarch Palette ($46). It's clearly based on the coloration of that orange-y butterfly, but when I think of Monarch, I think of Monarchy, then I think of Bizz Markie. I probably need to see a psychologist.

The packaging on this bad boy is equal parts beautiful/reminds me of my tramp stamp from 1999. Yay? Either way, it spoke to me. But when I peeped the inside contents, I really fell the eff in love. THERE ARE THREE HIGHLIGHTING/BASE SHADOWS. And they're hella big, like twice the size of normal. This is a big thing for me because I always use up my base-color shadows first.

I was SOLD sold after I started swatching the palette all over my body in the store. Here's the thing about Kat Von D eyeshadows: the pigmentation and texture are LE-MFing-GIT. Did I mention that this is my third (? fourth? fifth? I can't remember, and I've dropped and broken a couple because I'm a monster.) KVD palette? They are my absolute favorite eyeshadows.

Needless to say (or you wouldn't be reading this shit right now, doy), I bought the Monarch Palette. I know, I'm beginning to be an outright ridiculous person. But I did it, so let's at least get some use out of my overspending issues.

I wanted to create a couple different looks so you could see the versatility of the shadows and really get a feel for this b. So this first eyeball fashion plate is a little on the bolder side of the cosmetics tracks. (The Arbor Mist is free-flowing over on this side, you should come hang some time.)

I really felt the need to use the orange eyeshadow (it's called Wrath) to see how wearable it was, and whether or not it made me look like I had a severe eye infection. Spoiler alert: it did not. It actually made me feel kind of cool and post-Apocalyptic, like I could fashion weapons from debris and lizard skeletons, or something.

The second eye deal is more the kind of thing I would wear on the daily -- it's normal, it's basic (without being TOO basic bitch-like), and it's sportin' a touch of sheen, old sport. Between these two looks I actually ended up using all of the eyeshadows at least once, except for one of the base/highlight colors. High fiving a million angels for my mild productivity!

Here's the main point of all of my nonsensical ramblings on: I LOVE THIS FRIGGIN' PALETTE. So much so that I wrote a short poem as an ode to it. Please enjoy.

I love this palette,
more than a salad.
The shadows are bangin',
they won't leave you hangin'.
I love it so much that we might wed,
and sleep in the same bed.


I don't blame you if you never, ever come back to this blog ever again. Good day.

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