Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts

Friday, April 11, 2014

Blogging Note/Happy Weekend: Go See The Special Man

Sorry I'm been lax on the posting this week, homies. I've been working on some other stuff (we'll talk about that another time) that has been taking up all my time. I'M SORRY. I KNOW.

via yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend
Next week will probably be shitty too, so preemptive apologies all around. I'll do my best (which you probably know is like a regular person's worst).

In the meantime, let's enjoy this (I'm 99.9999% positive) Addy Award-winning TV commercial. Because it's perfect.

I know that this is a thing of friggin' beauty because I don't even know who my favorite person is in this thing. It's like picking which is my favorite, wine or pizza. (Psssh, it's wine.)

Anyway, enjoy this tiny dude's hair enigma. I'll catch you on the flip side, or the crossroads, whichever comes first.

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Friday, March 14, 2014

Let's Talk About Lady Gaga As Of Late.

Lady Gaga performed last night at SXSW (where a girl threw up on her for "art" purposes), and followed up the gig by making an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. After watching this interview, I'm feeling really torn about how I feel about Gaga at this point. I think she's super talented, and I feel like she actually has a sense of humor about herself, but something is bothering me. And it's not the vomit. Or the coffee filter dress. Or the pedicab leotard/fanny pack combo.

What is happening with her voice? It's like she's doing a weird Paris Hilton-esque baby affect, and I can't get behind that. I don't recall this being her typical voice, really, ever. Is she just trying something out, like the Madonna British thing? Maybe she had some dental work done? Maybe it's coffee filter reverb? Whatever the case, I hope this shit's not permanent. No one likes a sexy baby.

And speaking of lady pop angels that live on earth, if you've been wondering what Brit Brit has been up to (OF COURSE YOU HAVE), here's your answer.

via us magazine
She's trying out for Silver Linings 2: Metallic Bugaloo. Or roasting delicious new potatoes in there. Either way, she's perfect.

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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Homeboy From Felicity Is Getting Nakey To Sell Your Ass Some Towels

via people
Remember Scott Foley? I know him from Felicity, with a dash of True Blood and a side of Jen Garner, but he's also apparently on Scandal, which I have never seen. (I know, I know, I'm a gigantor a-hole for not watching it. I'M TOO BUSY WATCHING HORRIBLE REALITY TV. I HAVE PRIORITIES.) However you know his ass, Scott's latest gig is schilling towels and sheets to, I'm assuming, mofos that are into topless guys, with a company called Charisma. (Please let Charisma Carpenter own this company.)

I'm not familiar with this brand because I buy my sh*t (linens, if you're fancy) from Target and TJ Maxx clearance sections, and I'm not about that life. So, instead, let's just focus on the semi-nakey dude times.

Okay, okay. He's cute. And that blanket's pretty dope.

My night cheese (and wine) wouldn't kick that blanket out of bed for being too luxurious.

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The Greatest Moments Of Judgement In The Downton Abbey Finale

The finale of "Downton Abbey" was this week, and overall it was pretty damn adorable and full of feel goods. But don't be fooled, there were still a ton of judgey-faced moments to relish. Let's re-live them all together after the jump.

(Obvs, some light spoilers ahead if you haven't watched.)

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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Our Fake Best Friend Kristen Wiig Pretends To Be Harry Styles On "The Tonight Show," Is Predictably Adorable.

Kristen Wiig was on the new Jimmy Fallon's "Tonight Show" the other night, and she pretended to be One Direction's (1 Direction's? I'm too old for this sh*t) Harry Styles for the duration of her interview. And it seems like Kristen knows about as much as I do about Harry, AKA the human person under this hair:

Pretty much nothing, except that his shoes are comical. But she's definitely right on about one thing -- carnitas are amazing.

If you missed K Dubs as Michael Jordan when she was on Jimmy's show a few months ago, do yourself a damn solid and watch it here.

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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things -- Terrible Infomercial Product Edition

Sh*tty eff, you guys, how have I lived this long without the Style Screamer? I can't believe that I've been able to walk to cars for over 30 years and made it out alive. Lady luck has clearly pulled me through by the skin of my friggin' teeth.

On the real real, if you were really in an effing life-threatening sitch, are you going to pull on your bedazzled-ass cluster tassel? Or will you be scraping a mofo's windows of their soul out with your Hello Kitty beer bottle opener on your key chain? Plus, I'm pretty sure good, old-fashioned, been around for 4.7 million years screaming yo' damn ass off would do quite nicely. I'm totally for protecting yourself in creepster situations, but this is just unnecessary.

Did you notice that 99% of the men in this video were just guilty of walking in the stairwell with a hood/kind of looking Jersey Shore-ish? But listen, if you're really freaked out by Pauly D types hassling your ass outside the Aeropostale, get a whistle for like $1. True story -- my mom bought me a pink whistle to keep in my backpack in middle school in case anyone tried to abduct me, and decided to give it to me on Valentines Day. I threw it out, because...

Thug Life. And middle school angst.

P.S. If you're reading this, Mom, please don't buy me this.

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Friday, October 4, 2013

How To Be A Trash Bag Like Me In 5 Easy Steps (Actually Featuring Some Badass Products)

Have you b's heard the good word? I'm kind of trashy.

actual comment about me to prove said trash bag-ness
 But you know what? Being trashy is a fun way to live life IN THIS MOTHER, so suck it, world. And just in case you feel like getting on some next level non-classy sh*t, here's how you can get like me (at least this week).

#1 Drink Cheap(ish) Wine.

jam jar sweet shiraz, $9.99 at whole foods, but check yo' ish
You guys, I love this wine more than most things that currently exist on this earth. I originally picked it up from Whole Foods just because the bottle is super adorable and actually jam jar-looking, PLUS IT HAS A SCREW TOP, which lends itself to my lazy and drink-y lifestyle. Freakin' major points on that sh*t.

Once I actually consumed this affordable nectar of the Gods, I was all in. It's kind of sweet, but not in a over-the-top way.

Try it. It's like $10-$12 most places, so re-gift it (to me) if you hate it (I hate you if you do), and you aren't out a bajillion bucks, man.

#2 Hermit Yourself Up In Your House And Watch A Show Featuring Badasses, Until You Think You're A Badass.

featuring lots of hot backs and other parts
I've barely tended to basic ass hygiene this week (even more so than the usual), and I blame it all on Sons of Anarchy. I'm been binge watching the ish out of this show, and I show no signs of slowing.

my favorite dudes of SOA, opie & tig
One of the reasons for my can't stop, won't stop SOA viewing is for the dudes. I'm doing it all for the pseudo nookie, I guess. I know that most homegirls' lady flower tizzies are for the main guy Charlie Hunnam, and don't get me wrong, he's hot. BUT, I'm way more into the secondary hot mens like Ryan Hurst (Opie) and Kim Coates (Tig). What can I say? You guys know I'm into the "off the beaten path" when it comes to man crush feelings.

P.S. If you are a dumb dumb head like me and haven't yet watched this show, get on that sh*t, you silly mofo.

P.P.S. If you're current on episodes, DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT THE EFF IS UP WITH THESE TWO. (Although I've gotten a hint of Opie spoilers, and I am not happy.)

#3 Buy And Wear Clothes Inspired By (Male) Characters Of Said Show.

flannel and beanie, target, boots, nordstrom
See above, and you can see why I'm currently dressing like a grungy motorcycle dude. My obsessions run deep. I got these Steve Madden "Leader" boots from Nordstrom during their big ass sale deal (not the actual name of the sale) a couple of months ago, and I wear the sh*t out of them -- pretty much on the daily. The flannel and beanie can be copped from Target on the cheap, although I couldn't find them online.

denim vest, h&m, faux leather vest, f21
And every lady-type biker man needs some vests, obviously. The acid wash denim is from H&M a few months ago (similar one here), and the studded fake leather deal is from Forever 21. Thankfully, my ass is clipped to the brim with weave, or I would be constantly mistaken for a boy.

#4 Same Damn Makeup, Different Damn Day.

marc jacobs eyes, urban decay lip
I've been in a major makeup rut lately, and have pretty much been switching up my beauty looks 0% of the time. But I really give zero effs, because I'm totally into it. I've been all about a baby liquid liner cat eye paired with a bold lip, usually the MAC RuPaul Viva Glam goodness I told you about the other day, or this Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in Shame that I recently bought.

urban decay in shame, $22
It photographed weirdly light, but it's super sumptuous and creamy as f*ck, as well as deep and gorgeous. (That sounded really romance novel-y, but I didn't even say throbbing.) I've also been using the new Marc Jacobs eye palette and liner that I bought at the same time, but I'll talk about that another day. I don't give it up all at once. I'm a damn lady.

#5 Watch Britney's New Music Video On Repeat.

The first time that I heard Brit Brit's new song, I left super "meeeh" about it. But, of course, that sh*t completely grew on me and once I peeped that video scene, I was totally into it. I can't help it, when Britney does that dumb Madonna-esque fake British accent, I lose my ish. Viva la Britney, b*tch. Gimme, gimme more.

Okay, okay, I'm done. What trashy ass tendencies do you guys have? I know you're out there, don't leave a b hanging.

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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

via allure
This week for Allure, I take sh*t way, way back with 'Beauty Lessons From My 1980s Childhood Idols', featuring the likes of Billy Idol and Jem/boring ass Jerrica. See what it's all about here.

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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

via allure
Because my ass is full-on obsessed with Orange is the New Black, I made a weird Choose Your Own Adventure-style beauty game for you to live your beauty lives vicariously through your favorite ladies of OITNB. Figure out which one you are, and live your damn life accordingly. Check that sh*t here.

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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

True Blood Musings: Low-Hanging Fruit

For most of this episode, I felt like this:

BECAUSE IT WAS THE FINALE, MUTHAF*CKAS. (And I'm used to being boozy. And bougie.) Let's talk about it after the damn jump.

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Monday, August 12, 2013

True Blood Musings: One Flew Over the Vampire's Nest

Happy Wedding day? Funeral day? I don't know what the f*ck is happening. Let's all find out together after the jump.

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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

True Blood Musings: Vampire Brides

It's 'bout to be a GIRL FIGHT! This week, Blah-ll continues to annoy and bore the masses. Let's talk about how much we hate his ass after the jump.

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Monday, July 29, 2013

True Blood Musings: I Get So Emotional, Baby

Is there anything better than when Eric gets all maternal and sh*t?

Let's break it all down to vampire town after the jump.

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Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Most Elegant Moments in Maury History.

Or at least ones that I could readily find on the interwebs. I think that we can all agree that Maury is a national treasure. I don't watch it anymore (I used to DVR that sh*t every damn day), but I have super fond memories of all of the nonsensical madness I've seen on that show over the years. And it should be celebrated, so I am.

The saddest part of this effery is that I remember 99% of these moments. One of my favorite types of Maury eps are the ones that feature people's fears.

I remember this b was freaked out about how cotton balls squeaked. Naturally, they were forced to bring out the cotton ball man. Although, I'm pretty sure this is a Easter Bunny rental suit.

This one was clearly from a paternity test show. SIR, COME THE EFF ON.

Yep, totally watched this one. Dammit, Tom gets blamed for all the world's problems in this b*tch.

I remember this one, too. Dude was totally cheating will a lady whose teeth just fell the eff out at random. ARE THERE NO OTHER PARTNER OPTIONS? Bonus points for liquid liner brow execution.

File this one under "Who could resist that hair flip/eye roll" category.

Hooo boyah.

Listen, if you mom is the pinnacle of feminine beauty and youth like this young lady, you better just keep her away from your rugged cowboy man.

 Is that still cheating? Is the dog hot?

He must moisturize.

How could you NOT sleep with this man with that sexy ass hair helmet waving itself in your face? It shouldn't even count.

This dude was on one of those "controlling husbands" shows, and he became one of my favorite/worst things that's ever happened to me.

I mean, just look in his eyes. Stare into his mustache. I'm obsessed with him.

HE BIT HER F*CKING FINGER BECAUSE SHE GAVE AWAY HIS BOLOGNA SANDWICHES. I couldn't even make up a better story than this. It's the best caption that has ever captioned anything. But trust, homeboy was a major dick.

Well, that's it, mofos. But don't worry, we still have so much to look forward to on upcoming Maury shows.

Pssssh. Who hasn't?


Edit #2: What the eff is Chicken Tetrazzini?

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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

True Blood Musings: It's About to Be War

Last time we saw Sookie, she looked like this. WHAT HAPPENED??? DID SHE PASS ON FOREVA AND EVA???

Jump, and we'll talk about this mess.

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Monday, July 15, 2013

True Blood Musings: Errrybody's Effed

You guys know how I felt about the first few episodes of TB this season.

Luckily, it HAS gotten better. Now I'm a little more like this.

I won't spoil it for you peeps that haven't watched, but serious ish-nay went on this week. Jump with me, and let's talk about it.

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Monday, July 8, 2013

True Blood Musings: Gotcha, B*tch!

Well, things are FINALLY starting to get good in this b*tch. And this episode was full of these kind of moments:

Let's jump so we can talk deets and not upset those late to class h's that haven't watched yet.

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Monday, July 1, 2013

True Blood Musings: I'm Still Here

Here's how it's been feeling lately when it comes to True Blood.

We're all still here, so let's just get this over with. Jump with me, and let's talk about how this week's epi sucked a little less hard.

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Monday, June 24, 2013

True Blood Musings: Everything's Boring

We start the episode with getting our 50th glimpse of Warlow.

He seems super attractive and nice. Just let yourself be promised to his ass, Sook.

Can we just get on with this? Let's jump and see what happened this week.

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Monday, June 17, 2013

True Blood Musings: I Wanna Do Blob Things to You

Well mofos, here we are again. Another season of True Blood kicked off last night, so that means my musing are back. And let me tell you, it really started out with a meh...

Dammit, can't Bill just stay a blob of goo on the ground? His looks would finally match his personality. Where's a vat of Goo Gone when you need one?

We're going to delve into all of the episode, so duh, spoilers ahead. If you're all watched up, and ready to talk about it, follow me after the jump.

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