Showing posts with label Teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teenagers. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


A little rundown of this gem of a trailer -- Jenelle is obviously still going to be my hate-vorite this season. If you can stare into that crazy roots/Tiffany choker/eyebrow situation and NOT feel love, then I'm sorry for you. Plus, her boyfriend has highlights and wears leather cuffs! Please let him be in a Daughtry cover band. Not to mention, Babs is back, mofos! Babs saying, "I didn't paht the needuhl in huh ahm," while wearing a dalmatian-esque slinky top should be my life's new ringtone.

And chunky highlights girl might be getting a divorce from the new Affliction-shirted hubsand! Sacre bleu.

Oh, and those other two boring turkey sandwiches with a side of sour cream and onion chips are there, too.  I hate that I love you, Teen Mom 2.

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Monday, January 7, 2013

This Is Why I Can Never Have Kids

Have you guys heard about how Farrah from OG Teen Mom (RIP) tried to wax her three year old kid's unibrow? Yes? No? Not familiar? Just go read this blog of hers first so we're all on the same damn page. First off, I would be remiss if I didn't say that homegirl should not be writing things. She's using emoticons within sentences. I'm no effin' MLA style writing handbook, but that sh*t doesn't fly with me. But, here's the part where I have to give b a break. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULDN'T WAX A KID'S EYEBROWS. I mean, I don't think it sounds like a GOOD idea, but it doesn't really seem like a BAD, bad idea. Then again, I know that on the terrible human scale, I am a strong 8.5 out of ten. I am not delusional.

It seems like it's a little Toddlers and Tiaras to literally wax of a toddler's body hair, but it doesn't seem like the worst thing a person could do. I mean, have you seen some unibrows? They can be quite tragic. I've seen a perfectly beautiful man completely leveled to a below average type deal by some effed up eyebrows.

Wearing a fur hat over your fur brows isn't helping, Noel Gallagher.
See what I mean? Tragic. While it's probably best that you wait until a kid is a teenager, or something, to start ripping hairs from their bodies, let's cut this girl some slack. We wouldn't want to make her cry. Will you look at that cry face? Let's avoid that whole thing.

via realitytvgifs
I don't blame you, HBB. This ish is rough.

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Horrible Pitfalls of Coming of Age in the 90's

I turned 18 in the year of 1999, or the year of the partying Prince (or Prince symbol thing at the time) song. I feel like no matter what decade you are a teenager, there is always some super embarrassing/hazardous pictures of your horrid-ness floating around. But because I was a young whippersnapper in the 90's, I had to suffer through a sh*tload of grossness that I did to myself, and now think WTF kind of effery did I do to myself???

#1 Tramp Stamps -- Let's just go ahead and get the worst, most permanent thing out of the way. Not a lot of people (even close friends) know this about me, but I'm putting this mess all on front street for the enjoyment of strangers. Yikes. On my 18th birthday, I got a tramp stamp. And it's a butterfly. ( I EFFING KNOW, YOU GUYS.)
My underwear indentations aren't exactly helping the sitch, either. In my defense, there was no such thing as a tramp stamp in 1999. But children of the world, please take this into consideration. Don't get a tattoo on yo' damn 18th birthday, like a dummy. A butterfly is not cute over a 30 something's ass crack. Mmmmkay?

#2 Horrible Lifelong Photos of Memorable Occasions -- I also had a pretty horrible prom dress, you guys. Crushed velvet leopard print?
Don't forge to rest your eyes on those luxurious, mile-long acrylic nails while you're at it. Not pictured -- a chunky-heeled, strappy, GLITTERED black dress sandal. Hang it up, style queens. You've got nothing on this hotness.

#4 Pubescent Before Flat Irons -- Imagine growing up in the Florida humidity without the invention of flat irons. They didn't come out until I was in friggin' college. AND I had bangs for a large portion of my life.
I look like damn Doris Day or some crap. And let's not even bring up my Donna Martin-esque outfit. I don't even know if I owned a hair dryer at this point in my life. And that's also about the last time I saw my natural hair color.

#5 The "Platinum Playboy" Look Was Cool (to Me) -- I had (white) platinum blonde hair, a dangle belly button ring, and acrylic french manicured nails.
Oh, and a ridiculous amount of crop tops. That's a lot time investment in ab work, people. Probably using an ab roller. And a thigh master worked in, somehow.

What kind of grossness did you guys go through when you were in your teen years? Please tell me it wasn't as horrible as my ish. Impossible.

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