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Showing posts with label TV Movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV Movie. Show all posts

Monday, November 26, 2012

Oh, Liz & Dick.

As I told you yesterday, I am doing a little mini review (???), or maybe just my random thoughts on last night's cinematic blah-sterpiece that is Lifetime's Liz & Dick. Here are some moments I felt necessary to photograph while I watched.

I need this snake thing.

It's Creed from The Office!

This whole scene was so fake and weird. It looked like it was filmed in front of an Olan Mills studio backdrop.

I'm sorry, but I love everything about this image.

Miranda's STEVE from Sex and the City! (He only had one ball.)

Totally my favorite moment from the movie. "Man Marries Duck! Court Cries Foul!" I can't even handle it.

Homeboy's hair was TURRIBLE the entire movie.

Lindsay looked the most like Elizabeth Taylor when she was in the "White Diamonds" phase. By a total landslide.
My thoughts of the movie as a whole -- the pace was completely weird. It was like a period of a few years was drawn the eff out over 1:45, and then twenty years were shoved into an awkward fifteen minutes. It was like, "Oh, hey. We're getting back together. We're married again; oh wait -- just got divorced. We're older -- Burton died." That is sadly not even an exaggeration.

A couple of other notable things included that the beauty mark drawn on Lilo's face kept jumping sides. It would be on the left side of her face, then in the next scene on the right. CAN YOU NOT KEEP TRACK OF THAT ISH? Keep a journal, or something. Then, there was an entire scene about Elizabeth Taylor having "pudgy hands." Like a ten minute scene spent on the topic. I sh*t you not.

Overall, I was pretty bored. It wasn't terrible, but I definitely would not watch that mess again. And I think that Elizabeth Taylor would be PISSED about the movie. Did you guys watch it? What did you think?



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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Wait, Lifetime Hasn't Already Made This Ish Into a Movie?!?

TMZ broke the exciting news (to me) that Lifetime is currently casting a movie depicting the life of Anna Nicole Smith. So, YES to that news. I love a tawdry ass Lifetime movie. Is there anything better? Here are my picks for to play this, ahem, interesting cast of characters.

Anna Nicole Smith --
 
My picks for Anna Nicole are Amanda Bynes as young AN, and Lilo as the older. And if you don't agree with me on this one, then...



Howard K. Stern -- In case you aren't completely up to date on Anna's daily life (What have you been doing???) Howard was ANS's long time lawyer and maybe lover (gross) and fake baby daddy.

I think that Michael Richards, aka Kramer from Seinfeld would be a great Howard. He's like a good 20 years older, but whatevs, it's fine.

Anna's son, Daniel --
Derek Hough from Dancing with the Stars is a pretty damn close match to AN's son, Daniel. I don't even know if he's really an actor, and he would have to do a little brow maintenance, but that ish is on point.

P.S. When I was googling to find a picture of Daniel, the FIRST picture that came up was a picture of his dead body. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE? Is that what we're doing now??? The answer is no, we are not.

J. Howard Marshall -- This was that old homeboy that Anna married when she was like 20 and he was like 2840329.

If Herbert from Family Guy isn't a dead ringer for J. Howard, I don't know who the eff is. Ol' Herbs is clearly a cartoon, so maybe they could work a little Roger Rabbit magic on this piece.

E. Pierce Marshall -- J. Howard's son, who fought AN in court forever because she wanted homie's money. (Whaaaaaat?)

I think George W. Bush is a shoe in to play this dude. They're both from Texas, and let's be real -- old white guys pretty much look the same. My dad is also a good candidate.

Larry Birkhead -- Dude was a paparazzi, Anna's REAL baby daddy, and always seemed somewhat douchey. (Seriously, the movie is going to be so freakin' awesome.)

Larry HAS to be played by Keith Urban. They are total chunky highlight twinsies.

Will you guys be watching this trainwreck of a TV movie? Please believe, I will be calling into work the next day, because this ish will be parrr-tayyy time at my house. Do you have any better ideas of casting for these hoes? Let's discuss this mess.

Thanks to Sara for emailing me this hot mess and forcing me to write about it.


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