I have to say that I am a little biased when it comes to reviewing anything Urban Decay. I live and die for the UD Primer Potion. Period. And I kind of never shut up about it. Move on with business. I also use my Naked Palette almost every damn day. So I was curious about the Smoked Palette that came out a few months ago, and I begged the peeps over at Urban Decay so let me try it.
I like the fact that some of the shadows are matte. I like a palette with a little diversity, ya' heard? And it also comes with a mini Primer Potion (Score, b*tches!) and a full size 24/7 Eye Pencil in Perversion, which I already bought on its own a while back, and have since almost used completely. I love that b, too. It stays on like a mofo.
So here are all of the shadows (and the liner, which is like the blackest black in the world or something). I really like all of the colors. The jewel tones aren't bright or garish, so you won't look like Rainbow Brite assaulted you, or anything. I probably won't use Evidence, the navy-ish, just because blues aren't really my bag. But I have been using the neutrals almost every day for my normal, daytime look and just not using a ton of product. And Loaded, the green-ish color, is super pretty and is almost a gun metal-y green.
Overall, I'm totally co-signing on this beast. If you want to check it out for yourself, you can purchase for $49 at Urban Decay. Get that ish smokin'!
It's no SECRET (Ugh. I hate myself. I am THE WORST.) that I love liquid eyeliner. It's the fastest way to give an old tired, haggard face a polished look. And trust me, I'm a haggard ass b like 97.4% of the time, so I'm pretty much an expert in these things. I have been using my original gangsta' liquid liner, Lancome Artliner -- which I love -- for a very, very long time. Anytime I ever stray from that mess, I always sorely disappointed. But, the good peeps over at VS sent me this Graphic Liner Pen ($13) to try, so I thought what the eff. I had super lowered expectations:
My only experience with VS beauty products have been those squeeze lip glosses that they have by the register in the stores, which I have made my b*tch on many occasions -- don't get me wrong. I found the pen SUPER easy to use, and it made a very crisp line on the eye, that could also make a thin line. I effin' HATE liquid liners that get all thick and crazy. Stop making those, cosmetics people. They suck! Here's a little doodling on my hand to show you the deal.
See? Thin and manageable, unlike my ass. Yikes! I will also give this stuff credit, because I wore it to an outdoor hippie concert where it rained all over my face, and it didn't run. I even have a fuzzy picture to prove it.
I only partially look like the scary w (Can you call a ghost child a w?) from The Ring. Bottom line? Into it.
I have been using something pretty damn fantastic for a while now, and I haven't said a word about it. I'm sh*tty, I know. But sometimes when it comes to skincare-type stuff, I do the whole "I need to really give this stuff a fair shake if I'm going to REALLY review it." That turns into using something for roughly 927429874 days and forgetting to even share with you b's. Yep, that's how I roll. I see a glitter eyeliner, and everything goes to hell in a friggin' hand basket.
This is Cleansing Spa Water from Koh Gen Do, which can be purchased from Sephora. They sent me some to try, along with a description of what the deal is with this "water."
"It is made with the thermal water from Yumura Hot Springs in Izumo, Japan. Where pure water, rich with skin-absorbing nutrients, replenishes and rejuvenates as it cleanses. White Birch Sap, harvested only three weeks in early spring, contributes an abundance of minerals and xylitol as it lifts off makeup, oils and residue. No washing or rinsing required! Perfectly convenient for on-location makeup artists and busy on-the-go women. Oil-free. Alcohol-free. Safe for contact lens wearers.
Infused with six essential herbs to protect and nurture skin."
Sounds weird/like this mess is just vitamin water or something, right? Well lemme tell you something, this stuff is the cat's pajamas. I was using whatever pre-moistened cleansing/makeup remover wipes before these, and I always got some rashy-type business if I didn't wash my face right after. But I've been using this stuff for a couple of months now, and my skin is looking the best it's looked in a loooong time -- which isn't saying a whole lot, my skin sucks, but it's good for MY skin. (I'm also using some new skincare products but I'll get to that another time.) I like to wipe my makeup off my entire face with this stuff, then wash my face with my Clarisonic. It's friggin' boss, trust.
Oh, but the magic doesn't end there. I have also found ANOTHER new love of my life (I'm a w when it comes to this stuff. Don't you "no doy" me.) I begged the people at Mally Beauty to let me sample the Poreless Face Defender, and after much stalking, they allowed me to.
Let me be real with you, I have no idea how this stuff works. Here's what the Mally peeps have to say about it:
"Mally's Evercolor Poreless Face Defender is the perfect finishing touch
for your makeup. This remarkable technology yields an utterly sheer,
featherweight product that diffuses the look of pores, minimizes fine
lines, and helps protect your makeup so it lasts from morning to night.
Face Defender gives you that flawless matte finish without the dry, ashy
look of powder. The result is silky smooth skin and longer-lasting
makeup. It comes with a unique buffed-edge Japanese sponge."
It feels like a gel, but isn't sticky or anything on your face. And I don't get the muddiness that I always get a few hours after using a translucent powder with this stuff. One of my co-workers even said that I looked less oily after all day at work, and I hadn't blotted ONCE. (Which is some serious ish in my world.) There's also a video from Mally herself on how to use it. My only issue with the Face Defender is that the sponge doesn't have a little nook to go into in the compact. I've just kept the box it came with so far, but as soon as I spill water/perfume/tea in my purse (yes, that happens frequently), it's curtains on that b. If you want to try it for yourself, you can purchase on beauty.com for $40.
Okay, I'm done David Copperfielding your makeup bag for now. I'm no damn scientist (obviously), but I know the good good when I find it, and these two are magically delicious all up on yo' face!
I'm weird. (I know, no ish on that one.) But one of my weirdest quirks comes to my treatment of hair dye. I have a horrible habit of having a boss b as a hair stylist, and then deciding that I should dye my own sh*t. I don't know what the eff my deal is. I'm an a-hole.
In my quest to be the world's worst hair client, I have tried just about every home hair dye out there, from the cheap mess to Sally Beauty Supply "professional" stuff. I'm surprised I haven't melted my own face off at this point. I stopped by the ol' Sephora today and got Couture Colour's Luxeblend™ Crème Hair Colour With Pequi Glossing Serum in Dark Brown, because I have been dying (har, har) to try a little bit more of an upscale at home dye, and this one doesn't have ammonia.
This is what the kit looks like. It comes with a brush (but no bowl) if you want to apply it that way, or it also has a bottle tip, if that's more your bag. They also include a little vial of pequi oil (whatever the hell that is) to use to condition the hair after coloring. I guess it's like a Moroccan/argan oil. That's what it seemed like to me.
I chose to use the brush application method, because a) I'm a badass, and b) I have a hair color bowl. It actually makes a pretty large amount of dye when mixed. It was really just the perfect amount of product to do an all-over color. I was a little worried (not really) about how the color would turn out, because I had read some reviews on the Sephora website that said all of the colors were darker than the box. Um, duh peeps. It's home hair color. That ish is always darker. And it's called DARK brown. Dark.
Here are my before and after results. I have had some ombre/balayage highlights for several months now, and I'm over it. So I really just wanted to cover them b's up. The afters are an inside and an outside photo. I'm happy with the color. It's a dark brown, which is what I expected, and the color is very even and shiny. And the smell was pleasant (to me anyway) but I actually like the smell of hair dye. I'm a gross weirdo.
I think I have found my new go to hair dye for the periods of time when I want to pretend that I know WTF I'm doing. Are you guys DIY-ers? Or am I the only crazy ass?
The peeps over at tarte sent me the what has your makeup done for you lately? kit to try, which goes on sale tomorrow only on QVC and qvc.com. The kit will sell for $50, and the value is $160. Um, yes please!
The kit contains six products:
LipSurgence lip shine: (See swatch below) I love this lil' guy. It's a lip pencil that is super glossy (for a pencil) and has a minty, yummy flavor. I also love that it has a sharpener in the cap. Yesss'm.
pure maracuja oil rollerball: This is a super-hydrating oil that comes from an Amazonian flower and is very similar to argan oil. I like that it comes in a rollerball top, because it makes it really easy to apply to your face. As an oily-skinned sister, I would probably not use this on days that I wear makeup, and reserve it for days that I'm being a complete hermity, gross blogger.
retoucher flawless finish bamboo foundation brush: This is a foundation brush that will buff your foundation onto your skinby using circular motions. I like this guy, too.
maracuja miracle 12-hr foundation with Broad Spectrum SPF 15: To be honest, I haven't given this b enough time on the ho stroll yet. I got it in the shade for my self-tanned skin, and I'm pale as a mofo right now. It comes in five shades, BT-Dubs. I do like the finish on it. It goes on smoothly and has a slightly dewy finish. But like I said, I haven't worn it all day or anything, so oily peeps use with caution.
modernEYES waterproof creaseless shadow/liner: (See swatches below) This is a little bad b of a pencil that is shadow on one side and liner on the other. It has a kind of purplely/plum undertones, and the shadow especially is a gaw-geous color.
gifted Amazonian clay smart mascara: This mascara is supposed to increase lash volume by 406%. Hell if I know, but I really like this ish. Rashida Jones, Rachel Roy and Krysten Ritter are all big fans of this mascara as well. So you know I'm in if Krysten Ritter like it. (Creepy, much? Yes, I am.)
The best part of the whole deal is that tarte is donating a portion of the proceeds of this makeup kit to the Sustainable Amazon Partnership, which helps promote lasting sustainable management of the Brazilian Amazon Rainforest. Below is a picture of a school that they helped build.
I really like all of the products in this kit, and they fact that part of the proceeds go to a good cause makes them all even better. See, I'm not a completely dark sided b!
This is the good good, you guys. I can't lie -- I was super skeptical on the whole gel-manicure-at-home deal. I had heard about it, but I was all, "I've had a gel manicure in the salon. And that ish is the bizzle. It can't be like that." Then the good peeps over at Red Carpet Manicure sent me the Pro Kit to try.
It includes all the stuff you need: the light thingy, and all of the steps involved in the whole process, including a basic red shade of the gel polish. But here's the thing -- I kind of suck at painting my nails. I'm of the theory that one can paint the whole top part of one's finger, then peel everything off the skin around after the polish has dried. Yep, I'm very professional in life. So I was pretty unsure if I could do this mess. But guess what? I did it! And ish looked guuuuurrrd. Who's got a cookie for my ass?
The manicure lasted about two weeks for me, until it grew out. It was pretty much just like the gel manicure I have had a few times in the salon. I think at the $80 purchase price is well worth it, when you think about the fact that each gel manicure is over $20. They also sell more colors, and they can even be purchased at Ulta. I'm going to buy more tomorrow, because I'm a total makeup hoarder.
P.S. I would have taken a picture of my hands, but I just took the polish off a day ago. AND I'm lazy. AND my hands look like a 95 year old woman's. (I'm all veiny. It's gross. Trust, I'm saving you on this one.)
So there's this weird thing happening lately. Ever since I started this blog, everything that I have ever reviewed is something that I have bought myself. It wasn't really by choice, I was just super unpopular. (Guess I'll go eat worms.) But since I have gotten a little more exposure, people have started sending me stuff to try. But I've been treating stuff just like stuff I buy myself, which is: If I like it, I'll write about it. If I don't, I won't. So this is my first review of something that I didn't actually buy.
This is Yoshi's Magic Water, which you can buy online for $14. I was super skeptical on this mess when I received it. It seriously just looks like water in a spray bottle. It is supposed to be used either as a pre-treatment to styling or as a pick me up type of deal on dirty(ish) hair. I was really excited to try it in place of a dry shampoo, for a couple of reasons. Mainly, because I'm super lazy (which I have mentioned roughly 102830298 times) and basic hygiene is just so damn emotionally taxing. (I have to actually wash things???) But I am also oily to the absolute extreme, which lends itself to amazingly fun ish like adult acne and greasy ass hair.
So I spritzed this stuff all up on my oil slick of second day hair (P.S. I hate you b's that are like, "I haven't even washed this mop for two weeks!" And your hair is all luxurious and crap. I'm making a voodoo doll made from your gorgeous hair, just so you know.) Anyway, I sprayed and lightly styled (lazily blow dried for 2.3 seconds with a round brush) and you know what? It wasn't that bad! Not like fresh as a daisy or anything, but it never is. So I used it a couple of times that way to pretty good results.
But I still wasn't completely on board the Magic Water train. (Which should be a ride at a theme park. I would totally ride that.) I really was using it as a late afternoon/early evening bang area de-greaser. Which it was great for.
But then yesterday, I decided to spray it on before blow drying, and not use anything else as far as styling products. (I usually use a argan oil and some other kind of treatment spray.) After styling, I thought my hurrr was looking pretty good. And it felt great, too. Not weighed down, but still relatively silky. So anyway, I just go to work and live my normal life.
Well, THREE people within a couple hours told me that my hair looked great, and what did I do differently? Whaaaat? They said my hair looked really shiny. Okay, boo boo! I'll take it!
Have I mentioned that I'm oily? Okay, I always harp on this ish. I have real problems, y'all. ISSUES. I have to wash my hair daily. Even if I try to do a 'bun day' with dirty hair, it's not happening. It looks like I put surfboard wax or some mess in my hair. It's pretty effin' gross. In an effort to not wash my hair errr day, I have tried a plethora of dry shampoos. They usually suck.
Having dark hair, it's kind of hard to find a great dry shampoo that doesn't make you look like you are trying to look like an English judge in a powdered wig. (Which is pretty sexual, Bee Tee Dubs.) I've found that most of the time, spray dry shampoos do nothing on my hair, and powders make me look insane.
So I had not high hopes for my latest conquest:
This is No Drought by Lush. It costs about $13. If you aren't familiar with this place, it's that store in the mall that has a bunch of soaps in it, and you can smell a mile away. Stronger than Auntie Anne's Pretzels. Ish is strong.
And here's what it looks like out of the package:
To apply it, you can either squirt the mess directly in your hair, or squirt it on your hand and rub through your hair. It's messy as hell, I'm not going to lie. But it's just as cray if you use baby powder or whatever. Unlike baby powder, it doesn't smell like a baby's butt. It smells like lemons. (Which I prefer to diaper scent, personally.) And unlike baby powder, I don't find it to make it look like I have gray hair, as long as I brush my hair out.
With the assistance of this stuff, I can actually, on occasion, wear my hair down the day after shampoo. A couple of times I have even gone THREE DAYS. (Hair up, natch.) Call the Vatican, I'm pretty sure that qualifies for a miracle.
I'm into it. (Duh.) Let me know if you guys have a favorite dry shamps that I don't even know about. Sharing is caring! I won't ask you b's how long you go without washing your hair, because I wouldn't drop dead with jealousy of your dirtiness. LAZINESS 4 EVA!
Yes, I just won an award for the longest blog title ever.
Thanks, Zac. Zack? Zak? Whatever. Back to ol' Old (I'm old) Navy. I went there on Black Friday ( I know, what the eff?!?) and I actually got some stuff I really like. Do you guys remember this?
Duh...Of course you do. I actually got the pants that the ginger is wearing in the commercial, which I can't find on the Old Navy website. Boo!!! But these are similar.
Here I am, greasy, sweatyish hair and all! But the pants are aweeee-some. They are tight and the least jiggly-like of any workout pant that I have ever had. And bonus points that I don't have a weird baggy area around the frontal crotchal area, which I frequently have in workout gear. I had to fold them down, because I'm super ridic short, but they stayed that way while I worked out.
The sports bra is also from Old Navy, and is also pretty bad ass. It's padded, but not in a porny way, in a not nippley kind of way. I also couldn't find this on the website, but they do have it in black (which I also bought).
So I give two sweaty thumbs up to this ish! In fact, I'm buying more. I'm fifty. Fifty years old!
Those of you that are friends with me on Facebook might call a few weeks ago I won Jeannie Mai's (the host of Style network's "How Do I Look") Halloween costume contest. I got my prize a few days ago, and here it is; CND's The Look: Fall/Winter 2011 set of nail polishes! These are a really fun set including a Midnight Sapphire and Dark Amethyst polish colors, and Sheer 24K Sparkle finishing coat. I decided to use the deep blue first, and here it is.
Ignore my horrible polish job. This is my thing. I paint all over, and then scrub off my skin. I know, not conventional, but just how I do things. I'm not normal, this I know. So then I added the 24K gold fun stuff.
So cute, right? I'm totally into it. I bet the purple is going to be crazy sexual, too. You can buy the set for $16.95 on Amazon for yourself! Not bad at all for a three piece set! I have to go scrub my polish-ridden hands now...
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Today we are covering the magical world of apple cider vinegar. If you search the interwebs, there are approximately 90928409382890 uses for this stuff. From drinking it for weight loss (I'll leave that to other crazies), to skincare, to hair, apple cider vinegar is quite the little multitasker! I mixed equal parts filtered water and apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle, and I got to major work.
First, I covered hair work. Apple cider vinegar is a great clarifying agent, and it supposedly will help your hair grow by de-gunking (Yeah, so not a word. Whatevs.) your hair follicles and getting your oil glands on your scalp to work better. Yay for all of that nonsense! I sprayed this on after shampooing, left on for five minutes, rinsed, and then did a light conditioner, which I rinsed immediately. The result? I'm totally into it! My hair felt shiny and healthy. I'll probably do this once a week. I did read that it can strip color out of hair, so watch out for that mess.
My next experiment was on my face. ACV (That's what the cool kids say!) can also be used to treat acne. Word is that it helps balance the PH levels (whatever the eff that means) naturally. I use it after my other hippie face concoction (the one with the Dr. Bronner's and the Obagi with the Clarisonic brush), and I'm sold...So far! I'll let you guys know if anything crazy happens. Once again, if you have sensitive skin, you might want to use a weaker concoction. I'm not a doctor. I don't know anything!
If you guys give this a try, let me know how you like it!
I have a confession. I freaking hate Bare Mineral foundations. I mean could you have LESS foundation color options? I hate how it looks on my skin. Now, put your picket signs away all of you BM lovers (heh, BM lovers). I know some people love that crap, and it's changed their lives, and it makes them dream of mallomars and unicorn horns. Great. Awesome.
I will say that I like two Bare Minerals products. Well Rested for under eye area is my bitch. Done, hang it up, love it. If you want to try it, you can get it from Sephora. I also like warmth for a bronzer, but I don't use it anymore after spilling an entire container in my car. Over. It.
I have another mineral makeup that I like a million times better, and it's way cheaper. The one downside is that you can only buy it online, but they ship super fast so it's not THAT annoying. The line is called Everyday Minerals. I first learned about it when researching mineral makeup a few years ago. I came across a bunch of youtube videos comparing BM and EM, and EM kept coming up on top. So I thought, "What the hell, I'll try it."
Well here's the best part. You can try minis of the foundations for free! Yes, free, bitches! Here's the link. All you pay is shipping (which was about $3 for me), and you get seven sample size foundations in the finish (matte or semi-matte) and skintone of your choosing. Pretty awesome, huh? They also have specials every day that are pretty awesome. I have never tried any eyeshadows or anything, so don't ask me about that crap.
I won't say that 100% LOVE this. It's the best mineral makeup FOR ME that I have used. But, I need a little more coverage. For that I use MAC's Studio Fix, then I put the Everyday Minerals loose base on top. If you like a lighter coverage, you should be set just with the EM base.
Do you guys have a foundation that you LOVE, LOVE? I'm always open to newness! And I will say that this is what works for me, a chick that's oily as eff and needs a fuller coverage. Let's discuss!
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So we all know it's important to exfoliate your face, blah, blah, blah. But it's kind of one of those things you kind of forget about. Maybe you're in Walgreens or whatever, and you walk by the St. Ive's Apricot Scrub and you're all, "Damn, I used to LOVE that ish in 8th grade!" As did I, peeps. But put that crap down. I have your adult/lazy girl exfoliator right here.
Kate Somerville's ExfoliKate Gentle is my b. Truthfully, I originally bought the gentle version because it's $20 cheaper. I'm cheap. We all know this mess. But now I'm on Retin-A (more on that another time), and it makes you super-sensitive to the effing world so I'm grateful for my cheap-assness. I used this when I first bought it, like a year ago, and I liked it. It became one of those products that got pushed to the back of my massive product cabinet, and I forgot about it. I was kind of scared that it would be too much for my skin now (Remember? Super-sensitive bull ish?) but it's totally not. AND I know it works. I use a Clarisonic brush daily, and the Retin-A, which exfoliates the sh*t our of your skin. So I used the ExfoliKate with super lowered expectations. I was seriously surprised, you guys! My face was super soft! I'm hooked again. ExfoliKate is back on my A Team.
If you want some of this ish, check it out at Sephora. Or if you are a bad ass, you can get the Intensive Formula.
I feel like everyone has their beauty product nemesis. I have a few. One is foundation, and another is dry shampoo. We will talk about foundation another time, today is all about the quest to have lazy (yet not disgusting) hair. So I purchased a new dry shampoo a couple of weeks ago, so let's review that ish.
