So that's really what I'm doing here (well, the grown lady/cheapass/low rent version). I'll do all the work with the beauty experiments and you can reap the benefit of the results, ranging from good to crap.
For today's experiment, I'm taking on a DIY avocado mask and tracking the results, in the style of the Scientific Method. Remember the Scientific Method? Sorry for bringing back your third grade anxieties. Get out your four color pen and take notes.
Purpose: To get hair that's as shiny as a mofo.
Hypothesis: If you blend together some seemingly innocuous avocado and other food stuffs, maybe your hair will get all healthy and glossy glossy.
Procedure: I searched the ol' World Wide Web until I found this recipe for an avocado hair mask that contained all ingredients that I already possessed. Because you know that my too-lazy-to-refill-my-water-glass ass isn't going to actually leave the house to buy some nonsense. I mean, this whole thing really came about because I had an avocado that I bought a week ago with the idea that I was going to make guacamole, then I got shitty and let it go half bad. So here's what you need:
- Your own kind of shitty avocado (a normal one, not a dinosaur-sized huge one)
- 1/4 c of olive oil
- 1 Tablespoon of lemon juice
The texture of the mixture was straight-up (now tell me) guh-ross. I kept thinking stuff like, "Is this what baby poop looks like? Is this what baby poop feels like?" I must have a weird baby poop thing. I wasn't aware. But it was grossing me out.
It says to use it on damp hair but that's just too much damn work, and homie don't play that, so I just kind of squished it all over my head. Then I waited an excruciating 20 minutes. (Okay, it wasn't excruciating. It was moderately bleh.)
But seriously, how effing gross does this look? My expectations for the outcome of this hot mess were lowered to say the least.
After the 20 minutes, I got into the shower and rinsed and shampooed my hair. I would file the way it felt under "meh." So I slapped a light conditioner on and immediately rinsed it out. I followed up with my regular ol' basic bitch hair routine when I got out, which is a spray leave-in conditioner and an Argan oil serum. My hair felt normal, with a dab of dryness.
Analysis: I usually have a semi-hard (heh) time brushing through my hair when I'm blow drying it, and I can never just blow dry and go. I have to curl or flat iron (or air-dry and leave it the hell alone) to keep it from looking slightly puffy and pre-styling tools middle school-y. A bitch that can do a blowout and call it a day, I am not.
But I found that I could easily run a round brush through my hair, which pretty much never happens. And as my hair dried, it was looking as smooth as that terrible Santana/Rob Thomas song. My ends weren't weird and my mop was shining bright like a diamond, circa 2012. (I apologize for the surplus of dated musical references. I've had wine and it's late.)
Conclusion: I was wholly prepared to be all, "My hair feels like a greased-up porcupine's b-hole," right to your face, but I was wrong. Like a big dummy. This shit is the bee's knees. The only con to this whole deal was that my oily roots were oily, so I would probably hit up the shampoo twice. Rinse and repeat et al.
Overall, my hair feels amazing. It hasn't feel this soft 'n' silky in recent times. It's like Jennifer-Aniston-when-her-hair-was-at-its-peak-levels of dopeness. I know that this all seems hyperbolic, but I AM NOT OVERSELLING THE FEELINGS OF MY HAIR RIGHT NOW. You know that I don't care about things enough to oversell them. Especially not avocados.