I didn't really want to be all,"COACHELLA, COACHELLA, COACHELLA," today. But when Buzzfeed posted this picture of JB, it could not be ignored. When I see something that gives me the WHAT THE MF-ING EFF? feelings as much as this does, I really can't just let it go. (If you make a Frozen reference right now, I will eyeball slap you.)
Seriously, this bitch has got to be kidding me right now. He's wearing a chain that every dude I knew in high school bought from a kiosk in the middle of the mall. With an oversized bucket hat. But the real clincher are those shorts (???). Those pieces of shit look like something that that guy with the 132 lb ball would be forced to wear. (RIP, sir.)
Biebs is seriously sending me to a (slightly) early retirement home facility with his nonsense. Send me lots of Werther's and hand-made doilies, mofos.
Yes, I just won an award for the longest blog title ever.
Thanks, Zac. Zack? Zak? Whatever. Back to ol' Old (I'm old) Navy. I went there on Black Friday ( I know, what the eff?!?) and I actually got some stuff I really like. Do you guys remember this?
Duh...Of course you do. I actually got the pants that the ginger is wearing in the commercial, which I can't find on the Old Navy website. Boo!!! But these are similar.
Here I am, greasy, sweatyish hair and all! But the pants are aweeee-some. They are tight and the least jiggly-like of any workout pant that I have ever had. And bonus points that I don't have a weird baggy area around the frontal crotchal area, which I frequently have in workout gear. I had to fold them down, because I'm super ridic short, but they stayed that way while I worked out.
The sports bra is also from Old Navy, and is also pretty bad ass. It's padded, but not in a porny way, in a not nippley kind of way. I also couldn't find this on the website, but they do have it in black (which I also bought).
So I give two sweaty thumbs up to this ish! In fact, I'm buying more. I'm fifty. Fifty years old!
Hey Dude is coming back! According to Entertainment Weekly, Teen Nick 90's Block (This exsists?!?! Where the eff have I been?) is adding Hey Dude to its Friday night lineup. Crap, I need to find out if I have this mess on my cable. I'll see you b's later. I'm leaving JTT in charge. Let's see what he has to say about this news.
So, remember American Pie? Yeah, I was in high school. All young and, a-hem, innocent. Well apparently, there is something called American Reunion coming out, with the original American Pie cast.
I mean sh*t. Tara Reid has a mf'ing blazer on, and that b is a HAM (hot ass mess) sandwich. I'm old. They're old. WTF is happening? My bones ache. Get me some damn Ben Gay or Tiger Balm or some ish.
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This b is pregnant. (Not like, here in this picture. Don't be gross!)
Hilary Duff announced her pregnancy via her website. Now let's all just pour a little out for our homies that were her big veneers. (Remember that??? Then like a week later she filed them down?) Pop bottles.
Yes, from HIGH SCHOOL. Thank God I'm botoxed, or my forehead would be displaying my displeasure in how freaking old I am. What's next? Did Jonathan Lipnicki graduate from med school? (Crap, I just googled him. That b is 20! 20 years old!)
I still feel like I'm of an age where it's appropriate to wear my Express faux-snakeskin pleather pants that hit right at the bellybutton and a choker. And perhaps a chunky heel. And dance to Montell Jordan.
If you hate yourself and want to feel ancient, here's the story from USA Today.
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