'Tis the End of My Era, and Somehow...50 Cent.

This crap is going to be semi-sentimental, and pretty much just about me. (ME, ME, ME!) So if you aren't feeling that, feel free to skip ahead. I'll put everything after the break, so you won't be bothered by my stupid life.

via makemelaughgifs

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Walk Up to the Club Like, "What Up? I got a big Wand!" (And a Small One. And Other Sizes.)

Holy eff, you guys. I really need to talk to you about something big in my life right now. And that thing is the ISO Beauty 5 Piece Curling Iron Set, and even bigger than that, curling wands. The nice boos at ISO Beauty sent me this set to try, and I can't keep my damn dirty hands off of it.

iso beauty 5 piece curling iron set, $395

Curling wands are my new jam, and this set is the true boss b*tch. It has five barrel sizes, so you can choose your own adventure, from beachy waves to OG Nicole Kidman.

Okay, maybe not THAT extreme. That's some tight, tight spiral perm-age.

So what's the difference in a curling wand/clipless curling iron and the curling iron you've had since '97? Mainly, the type of curl you'll get. With the old school curling iron, you get more of a classic, barrel-y curl. Here's what the curling wand creates, with different sized barrels:

what happens to old weave? science experiments!

See? Then ends aren't all weirdly crunched up and really curly, like mine tend to be with the Vanilla Ice irons. (That means the old school kind.)

But my favorite thing about clipless curling irons? THIS SH*T IS EASY. No, no. Don't worry about clipping the curling iron arm thing on your hair, then winding it up...blah, blah, blah. That crap is boring. With a wand, you wrap your hair around it, hold it for a few seconds, and done. The combination of this with surf spray creates sexy ass bedhead-y hair that looks like you give zero effs and were just born super hot.

It's that good. And good for lazies like me. And where do I find this cat? And do those glasses come in human versions?

Find out more info on the ISO Beauty 5 Piece Curling Iron Set (or whatever the hell strikes your fancy) here.




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Definitive Proof That Beards and Boyz II Men Make Dudes 100% Hotter

Skip to 7:10 for the good good.



I've always thought that John Krasinski (AKA Jim from The Office) was moderately hot. Like hottest guy you saw at the grocery store today hot, but not necessarily John Hamm/Alexander Skarsgard/face made of rugged angel Pegasus wings hot. That is UNTIL TODAY. Here he is on Jimmy Fallon's show lip syncing "I'll Make Love to You." (If you must.) That beard is KILLIN' IT for homeboy's face. I'm buying whatever you're selling here, Krasinski. I'll take a million of each.

Yes.

All of this.





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Ballsy on a Budget-- White Polish Edition

There's just something about white polish, man. It's so bright and perfect, and weirdly edgy. It makes me feel like a high school kid boredly white out-ing their asses into emo perfection.

cameo by kiki la rue, who won't get the eff out of the shot

But here's the thing about white nail polish -- sh*t's a totally b*tch to get right. It's very often bumpy, and takes friggin' FOR. EV. ER. to dry, so it's usually totally effed within the hour. But I finally got badassery in a bottle this time around with a few tricks. First, you HAVE to use a base coat. I used Bassline from Floss Gloss. I followed it up with a WHITE BASE POLISH, using the base from one of the Revlon Nail Art Neon Nail Enamels. I then used a coat (or two -- can't remember) of whatever white polish you're into. Just make sure it's opaque. Finish it up with a top coat, doy, because you don't want it to look like you used white out FOR REAL, for real. Aaaannnnd scene.

via yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend

As you should, boo boo. As you should.




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Quick Sh*t: Met Gala Roundup

The Met Gala/Met Ball/whatevs was last night, and people got all fancy as eff and walked around being important and ish. Here are some quick highlights. 

As per ush, J Law was the HBIC.

via vulture

And Marion Cotillard and Lena Dunham thought that ish was friggin' funny. SJP's badass head f*ckery blocked her peripheral vision, and homegirl missed the whole thing.

This person was there and claimed to be Zooey Deschanel. Who dat? But f'real, without bangs boo boo has 50's housewife mop commercial face.

Miley Cyrus needs to stop the insanity, and Susan Powter needs to sue this b for copyright infringement.

Her look is getting bitten WAAAAY hard. (Sorry young people, google it.)

There were a lot of other b faces that looked awesome, and a ton of people that looked half sh*tty, but I don't care enough to talk about their asses.

I SAID QUICK.




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This Gloss is the Sauce. (Gloss on Gloss on Gloss.)

elizabeth arden beautiful color luminous lip gloss, $18 each

I'm a friggin' loose lady when it comes to lip gloss. I love that ish. It's sexy, and makes your lips feel real, real noooiiice. So when I was sent Elizabeth Arden's Beautiful Color Luminous Lip Gloss in Rose Creme, Cameo, and Coral Kiss to try, I was excited. I don't recall ever trying an Elizabeth Arden gloss before, but after trying these three, I'll let them holla at your girl whenever they want.

 Here's the deets from EA:

"Beautiful Color fuses with care. Multidimensional, moisture rich formula provides lips with long-wearing, vibrant color and brilliant shine. Infused with mango and shea butters to condition and help lock in moisture, and Maxi-Lip™ to plump the appearance of lips. Packaged conveniently with built-in mirror for on-the-go application."

These are moisturizing glosses, and supa dupa fly shiny. AND THEY HAVE A MIRROR ON THE PACKAGING, which is a boss addition to any lip gloss tube. Plus, they smell like vanilla freaking cookie. Like your grandma would make. Hot. So what I'm saying is --

Take it all, and give me ALL THE GLOSSES, MAN. Check out all the colors available here.





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Tanning Mom Is Bringing You Your New Favorite Club Banger (Nope. She's Totally Not.)

I know, you guys. I'm effing writing about Tanning Mom AGAIN, like a b*tch. But when you come across some straight effery like this right here, it really can't be ignored.

TMZ once again has the good good (or the bad bad) on ol' Patty Krentcil, and has released this clip from her song that will be released tomorrow. Honey child has the voice of an angel this lady. And those lyrics are effing flawless. So set the ish out of your alarm clocks tonight so you can buy this song first thing in the morning, and you can rock out with your SMOCK out all day tomorrow.

practical AND shapeless

I'm sure you hate me for bringing this nonsense song into your life and ear holes, but at least we know that TM kind of hates birds? (Or something?)

Okay, okay, I'm leaving. You can bill me for that extra Cinco marg that you'll have to have to erase this sh*t from your brain. (No, you can't.)




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