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Thursday, December 11, 2014
My Very Favorite Winter Sh*t
Winter kind of blows when it comes to beauty. Everything is hashtag XXX-TRA DRY, and it just makes life roughly 23454% worse.
Luckily, I have found some products for the hairs, face and body that will alleviate some of those wintery woes. Get off our jocks, Mother Nature. We see you.
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Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Allure Insiders Get The Look: Throwback National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Makeup Tutorial
It's the holiday season, FOR REAL for real. I know this because I got all up on a National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation hair and makeup tutorial this month for my Allure Insiders video. If you're into looking like a minx-y Beverly D'Angelo, watch away.
Now I have to go, because I have bought exactly ZERO gifts for ZERO people. Sorry I'm the worst, friends and family.
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Monday, December 8, 2014
Bronzy Beauts: My Favorite Shimmery Neutral Shadows At Every Price
I love a bronze eye on basically every-damn-one. It's one of those pretty universally flattering shades, regardless of skin tone/hair/eye color/friggin' astrological sign/whatever. It's just a go-to deal for me -- if I find myself in one of those what-am-I-even-doing-with-a-face-today moods, I throw on a bronze-ish eyeshadow and move on to not caring about another topic.
Because I have really been on that bronze train for the long-haul, I've come across my fair share of great shadows. So here is a complete roundup of my favorites, with bonus picks, because I'm indecisive like woah.
The Super-Power (Susan) Powders
My pick for high-end shadow is probably the eyeshadow I use more than anything else on this silly ol' planet, and that is Smog from the OG Urban Decay Naked Palette ($54). You can also buy it solo ($18), if that tickles your fancy more specifically. The lighting on this picture is half-shitty, so just take my word for it when I tell you that Smog is bronze with a dash of olive. It's perfect, in my eyes. And on my eyes.
For a drugstore shadow, I've chosen the nameless bronze (it's the fourth one over on the top row) from the Maybelline The Nudes Palette ($10). The shade of this dude is very similar to Smog, and the texture is pretty solid. It's just a little less silky than some of the more expensive brands. For the price, I can totally live with it. I'm not THAT much of a princess. This is still good shit.
I also chose two runners-up for powder shadows, and it seems that both of these cats may or may not be discontinued.
Baroque from the Kat Von D True Romance Palette seems to be completely gone from the Sephora website (RIP), and the Revlon PhotoReady Graffiti shadows seem to be only available on Amazon. Well, a day late and a dollar short are kind of my life themes, so at least I'm consistent?
If you do seem to happen upon either of these shadows, they're both more of a "true bronze" than the other two. If that's a thing.
I Don't Think You're Ready For This Gel(y)
So, remember 3.6 seconds ago when everything was discontinued and I sucked? Apparently my selection for the best high-end gel shadow, the Make Up For Ever Aqua Shadows, are also discontinued. MUFE sent me some of these gel shadow pencils a while back, AND I LOVE THEM. Looks like I'll be taking up hoarding.
Luckily, it looks like the Aqua Shadows have been replaced with the Aqua Matic ($21), and this Satiny Warm Brown shade looks really similar to the old-school #22E bronze baby. So I'm not THE WORST the worst. Just almost.
For a more affordable gel-ish option, I really can't get enough of ColourPop in Game Face ($5). It's the bronziest of the bronze, and has a liquid metal finish. It also costs less than a
My honorable mention goes to Maybelline Color Tattoo in Bad to the Bronze ($6.99). This almost has more of a golden taupe hue, so it's a little cooler-toned. Color Tattoo shadows are really pretty badass, because they last FOREVER. Like, I had trouble washing the swatch off of my arm levels of forever. If you have trouble with your shadow lasting all day, this will change your damn life.
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| life-changing makeup moment |
BYE.
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Sunday, December 7, 2014
THE TRAILER FOR THE WHITNEY HOUSTON LIFETIME BIOPIC IS HERE
I was 100% fully prepared to hate on this Whitney biopic from Lifetime. This is a really tough story to tell, about one of America's vocal treasures, and it's not like that network has a stellar rep when it comes to their tell-all celebrity biopics. So I was expecting straight-up horrible shit before I watched this.
BUT I WAS WAY WRONG, MAN. This looks really pretty frickin' stellar. Here's why I think this biopic might actually really, really work.
#1 -- Angela Bassett is directing.
And if you don't know that Angela Bassett can do no wrong in my heart, now you know.
#2 -- Ms. Houston is being played by Yaya from America's Next Top Model. And that show is my shit, even though it's one of the most ridiculous things on earth. (I love you, TyTy.) But I don't think that Yaya going to butcher this thing, because this reads very Whitney to me.
#3 -- The wigs aren't horrible. Whitney went through many hair changes over the time that this movie covers, and I saw very few bad wigs with my eyeballs.
Bravo.
Now we'll all be waiting to exhale until the premiere of Whitney on Lifetime on January 17th. (Sorry, I had to.)
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Friday, December 5, 2014
WTF O' The Day: Usher Charged His Phone Using A Lady's Bathing Suit Area
Usher Apparently Paid $20 To Charge His iPhone In A Woman’s Vagina
http://t.co/szAqmwUrbQ pic.twitter.com/zNpIVKd2qV
— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) December 5, 2014
To be logged in the the Book of WHYYYYYYYY, Art Edition™: Usher charged his cellphone using a woman's vagina for performance art. (Little known fact -- the Book of WHYYYYYYYY? was started by Nancy Kerrigan. Too soon?)
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| sorry i did you wrong, nanc. |
This just proves that I don't know shit about art. I usually just picture people painting and stuff, and maybe something semi-scandalous happens, like in that Big Eyes movie. I never thought to put a battery pack into my lady cave and charge my favorite '90s R&B dude $20 to jump start his iPhone. That's just entrepreneurial. And thinking outside the box. (I deeply apologize for that.)
I think if I were going to battery (literally) pack myself, I would power up a panini press. Or maybe a George Foreman grill. You know, give back to the community with my downstairs food. Or I could plug in a boombox that played Salt 'n' Pepa on a cassette tape around the clock. Those are really my only viable options.
Okay, I'm done here. I promise.
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Miley Cyrus Seriously Has Zero Effs Left To Give
If you thought that Miley had hit the epitome of the least amount of effs to give before, you were wrong. Oh so wrong. And here's your concrete proof.
Homie performed the other night in Miami at Art Basel, and this is the ode-to-Cher's-If-I-Could-Turn-Back-Time-video outfit she wore. Well, part of it. There were some semi outfit changes.
There was the addition of this appendage.
Then a gifted stripper shirt for her bathroom ensemble.
And she finally just gave up on all the tops and wore disco ball pasties. You know, when in Rome, and all.
I have to hand it to Miley. She does whatever the shit she feels like, and doesn't feel the need to apologize for it. Do your thing, butterbean.
But if you feel like your eyeballs now need a little refreshing cleanse after all of those nearly-nude hijinks, here are some sibling beagles playing with a toy snake. Happy Friday in this beyotch!
vid via tastefully offensive Pin It
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Lazy Blogging: Read Something I Already Wrote
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| pic via allure |
If you want to check it, do so here. If not, make up your own meanings. Or try to find Lady Liberty in the picture above. It's your brain, use it how you please.
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