'Scuse Me? News: Eva Mendes Is SEVEN MF-ING MONTHS PREGNANT

Remember Eva Mendes?

Remember when she and Ryan Gosling were a thing, and we were all, "Ugh, but I get it, they're both super hot and have hair perfection on lockdown?"

Except for the tight-rolling pants over a boot deal. Stop trying to make that a thing, Ry. It's not.

Then remember when everyone was like, "Those two sexy ass mofos broke up. No one has seen them together in 34974298 years!" And we all breathed a sigh of relief and waited for a telegram from RG saying that he was sending one of those Cinderella pumpkin carriages to pick us up and bring us forth to him?

Well, get ready to order an extra body pillow with the Gosling pillowcase upgrade for backup, because Us Weekly is saying that homegirl is all the way knocked up. And not even like just-peed-on-the-stick-thingy-five-minutes-ago pregnant. Seven months pregnant. Like, that puppy is close to being pooped out, pregnant. (Isn't that how babies are born?)

Luckily for you, I got this EXCLUSIVE picture of the baby that they're probably having. I know, I know. This is HUGE. Screw you, People magazine. You ain't got nothing on my exclusives.

What do you guys think, is Eva Mendes PREGNANT pregnant? Or is she just pregnant with a case of the b-faces, as per usual?

UPDATE: It's true! It's all effing true.

 
And it's all People's fault.

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Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

This month for Allure I covered one of the best things about these turrible Summertimes: movies. I reached way back into my horrible brain and pulled out all of the very best beauty looks from Summer blockbuster movies, with the aptly titled, "The 14 Hottest Beauty Looks From Summer Blockbuster Movies."

I used Grease for the jump off, because no doy. Check out the rest of the list here.



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Allure Insiders Outrageous Beauty: The Colonic

If you've ever wanted to see be with a tube up my b-hole, today is your lucky day. For this Outrageous Beauty video, you can actually watch me get a colonic. Ever wondered what that whole deal feels like? Here's your answer.

You can check out more Allure Insider videos here.



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True Blood Musings: All Blah-ed Out Over You

We open on a LA kara-tay dojo, apparently.

Okay, not really. It was a yoga place with this short-shorted homeboy leading a bunch of peeps through what seems like a pretty obnoxious vinyasa flow.

Wait. But why? Is this dude Jason in disguise? Did LaLa hit up the West Coast, after being inspired by the Lana Del Rey song, and take up downward dogs?

Let's discuss after the jump.

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Happy (Almost) 4th Of July, Here's Your Anthem

Listen, I know that this is fake as shit. And annoying. She's the Latina, modern-day this girl.

But I still can't help recklessly loving this song. Who doesn't love a GD pool noodle? Or have hopes and dreams of walking home with an empanada? And she cleared out Party City's flag paraphernalia section, so we owe it to America to be supportive.

Enjoy your holiday, Americans. If I don't hear you bumping this anthem at least once, I will steal all of your Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers and drink them right up in your face. Then drive home, because my blood alcohol level will be 0.0000000004%.

via popsugar

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Hot Dude Dance Off: Prince Harry vs Zac Efron

First, we have the sexual ginger candy that is Prince Harry. PH definitely wins the cute points by dancing with adorable kids at a Chilean children's home. I feel like Hars is just getting more and more attractive as he ages. It's like he's the reverse Prince William. (Sorry for that burn, lil' Willy style.)

He loses points on the ACTUAL dancing, but he's with kids. It's not like he can be all Genuwine "Pony"-ing all over the youth of Chile. But even his clapping is sub-par and whiter than the purest white chocolate sauce. Yet, still hot.

Get it? Like, he's a redhead, too, so fire...My apologies.



Then there's Zac. I always forget that homeboy is a great dancer. Maybe because I've never seen High School Musical. But he is.

Plus, we know what he's working with under that slinky top. We see you, Efs. We see you.

So who are you guys feeling more? Yeezus, don't me me choose.



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True Blood Musings: Bored To Death

Here we are. Another week, another TB episode down in the FINAL COUNTDOWN.

This week we open on an Eric/Jason vignette, that I won't immediately spoil, so jump and we'll talk about this scene and all the trimmings. Meet you at the crossroads.

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