SNL Making Fun Of Baby Bieber Is The Best Thing They've Done In Years

Very few things bring me more joy than watching Kate McKinnon bring the hardcore douchey-baby-vibes with her Justin Bieber impression, and this is her masterpiece. This is the GD Mona Lisa of faux Bieb-ing.

"Yo, my pee-pee's in there," is my new mantra. I'm going to chant it in yoga and shit. While wearing a codpiece.

And just in (Justin? Sorry.) case this is too Bieber-adjacent for your tastes and you need to get the stank off, here's your palette cleanser.

You know I never leave you on a shitty Justin Bieber note.




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Who Wants To Win Something Up In Here?

Allure is giving away some of their January Sample Society boxes. If you want to see what's inside that bad little baby and how to win, watch this vid.

What would you do if I said "WINNING!" right now? You better say you would slap me. Bonus points if you said slap me with Amal Clooney's white satin '90s prom gloves from the Golden Globes.



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All Of Our Nightmares Have Come True: Justin Bieber Is An Underwear Model

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Jan 1, 2015 at 2:18pm PST

I'm not one of those crazy end-of-the-worlders, but it's the end of the world. I'm certain of this because the universe's most irritating infant, Justin Bieber, is showing off all of his cookies and milk as the newest Calvin Klein underwear model. And if that isn't the biggest sign of Earth's impending doom, I don't know what is.

If you don't feel like vom-ing enough, here's a little more fuel to your barf fire.

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Jan 1, 2015 at 2:07pm PST

NOPE. Not today, Satan. Not today.

And now, because I've subjected you to the Bubonic Plague of things to see with eyeballs, here's some adorable salve.

It's so slippery, and his little hooves/paws/foot things can't even handle it! And neither can my heart. Goodbye.



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Allure Insiders Get The Look: GIRLS Character Mashup

This week is the premiere of HBO's GIRLS fourth season. I'm pretty excited, because I love the extreme levels of selfishness of everyone on this show. It's fantastic. And makes me feel good about myself. Selfish.

So for this months' Get the Look video, I decided to do a mashup look of all of the characters. Plus, you can peep my amazing acting skills. AND vocal stylings.

Sorry, Earth.





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Best (Color) Lip Products When Your Lips Are Just SO DRY

Dry lips are a real sack of a-holes. And because it's the height of wintery weather, it's pretty much all-parched-everything right now. But just because your lips are drier than a pair of sun dried tomatoes, that doesn't mean you just want to wear a boring-ass colorless lip chap around all the time. So, instead, I have rounded up my favorite moisturizing babies (with color!) to keep that yappity trap well-hydrated and poppin' at all times.

I really cannot get enough of this Sephora Kiss Kiss Gloss ($7, Sephora). I bought it on an impulse a little bit ago just to get me over that dreaded gotta-get-to-$50-for-free-shipping hump from Sephora, and I've been using it like it ain't no thang.

It's a sheer, bubble gummy pink with shimmer and has a glossy gel texture. It's thick, but not sticky and hydrates like a boss lady. Plus, the container is pretty huge for gloss standards. (It's half an ounce, whereas most glosses are around 0.1 oz.) What I'm saying is -- this is my shit.

Okay, so I guess this stick deal is considered a balm. I really should know these things.

I already told you how much I was vibing on the Dr. Rescue version of Maybelline's Baby Lips, which I am still into. But here's the thing -- you can only use the Dr. Rescue a few times a day because of the menthol in it. It will eff up your life if you overdo it. So I've started using the OG version (this one is in Pink Punch) to supplement my balm usage. It's still nice and creamy...

and provides a nice bit of color to your lips. It's just not mint-like. And I love mint-like.

Speaking of loving mint shit, the top reason that I love this Tarte Maracuja Divine Shine Lip Gloss is because it's minty and moisturizing. But, of course there's one small issue -- I picked a gloss that isn't in production anymore, because I'm a real asshole. But, you can still find it all over Amazon, so only send me one hate postcard. Or post-it. Your choice.

If you can live without the wintergreen times, the Tarte LipSurgence Lip Gloss is another good option. It's just vanilla-esque. So just slightly lesser for dry lip lives. We'll live.

Now go lube up those thirsty lips. Also, tell me if you've got a miracle moisturizing lip thing (with color). I can always have more things. Always more things.



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Blogging Note: I Might Be MIA For A Minute

Hey, it's me. Remember me?

I was out of town last week, so I really couldn't post. Now I'm extremely sick, and can't even think about stringing sentences into a cohesive format. So, I will probably be taking this week off. If it goes beyond that, I'll let your ass know.

Sorry for being horrible. Just please enjoy this kitten.



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Lazy Blogging: Read Something I Already Wrote

pic via allure

In the last few minutes of your holiday weekend, take a couple seconds to check out this post that I wrote for Allure, called "The Best Holiday-Movie Beauty Looks," about, well, the best holiday movie beauty looks. 

I was watching Love, Actually on Christmas and still couldn't get over the level of gorgeousness that Keira Knightley possesses. Life just isn't fair. Happy New Year.

See who else I included on the list here.

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