Possible Random Homie, Definite Badass Deal O' The Day: IT Cosmetics Hello Beautiful Kit on QVC

hello beautiful kit, $54.96 via qvc

The peeps from IT Cosmetics sent me this little ditty of the Hello Beautiful Kit a few days ago, so I have crammed in trying this myriad of products a few times before I could tell you baby ho hoes about it before today. Why today? Well this ish is on QVC for TODAY ONLY for $54.96, and with a retail value of $155, b is a good ass deal. So my lazy ass actually had to do something, for once in my life, and hustle to get this info out. And here's the dirty dirty on this kit.

Celebration Foundation and Luxe Buffing Airbrush Foundation Brush -- The foundation is a powder foundation packed with antioxidants and such. I'm sure it's great, and stuff, but it was way too pinky for my borderline jaundiced-toned skin. (I got the light-medium shade, I believe.) But the foundation brush is friggin' cat's pajama status -- super soft and luxurious. I want to wear that sh*t like a coat.

Tightline Full Lash Length Black Mascara Primer & Hello Lashes 5-in-1 Mascara -- I'm totally crushing on  this primer/mascara duo. The primer lash wand is TINY tiny (it's the silver tube above), and the product is black, so you can really wiggle that mess right into your lash line to fill in those little sparse gaps of lash-less-ness. (Sometimes compound-compound fake words are necessary in life.) And the mascara is nice, too. It's a plastic wand brush, which I like, because it tends to clump less. It also has lash-enhancing and conditioning properties. I don't know, I like what it does to my eyeballs, mmmmkay?

Vitality Flush 4-in-1 Reviver Lip and Cheek Stain Stick -- I really expected not to like this stick deal. When I opened it, it just kind of looked like a big ass, pale chapstick. But when I dotted it onto my cheeks and dabbed it around a bit, I discovered it's actually legitimately awesome. It gives your cheeks (it's also great on lips) a really pretty, natural-looking flush. But one warning, it is waxy/oily, so for oil rig faces, like myself, this is best used for a touch-up glowy stuff when used on the cheeks. I couldn't use it in the morning and expect it to still be there at 7 pm, or whatever. But I LOVE it for touch-ups and it gorgeous on lips anytime. It's like a stain, but not drying (actually super moisturizing) and WAAAAY easier to apply.

Overall first impressions -- great value, and I'm super into the products that worked for my skin. This is my first introduction to IT Cosmetics, and I have to say that so far, impressive. I'm not hating this stuff, even a little. It makes me look like I've been for an invigorating walk through the fresh air, without actually going outside. Because going outside is the worst. AmIright?

So I'll just be here in my cave applying makeup. You b's know where to find me.





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Hurry! There's Still Time for You to Look Like You (A-hemed) a Leprechaun. (In a Totally Cool Way.)

Happy St. Patty's Day weekend, mofos. Before you get all crunk ass and green-ed out, I suggest one more item to up your game.

violent lips "the shamrock", $7.99 for a pack of two

These are The Shamrock Violent Lips, and they are ridiculously fun and easy to apply. It's just like a temporary tattoo for your lips. It doesn't even feel weird -- kind of like the long wear lipsticks that have been around forever. I only wore them for 30 minutes or so, because I'm a hermit and I'm not doing anything tonight, but I could tell that these puppies would last a long ass time. The package says four to eight hours, and I totally believe it. To remove, you just put a little baby oil (or I used coconut oil) on your lips for a minute or so, and then rub it off with a paper towel, or a textured cotton pad.




To find out where you can find these bad boys locally, check here. Or, if you don't give and eff about St. Patrick's Day (How rude!) you can see all of the other Violent Lip options here. Now go have fun tonight, b's. And don't consume everything green in sight.

via mrhankey

Or, you know, do.



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Drugstore Mofo's That Totally Live Up to The Hype

Listen. Nobody feels like spending an eff load of money on crap, when you can get great stuff on the cheap. The problem is, a lot of times with beauty sh*t you really do get what you pay for. But there are couple of really badass products that you can pick up at your favorite low-end retailer (Sorry Target, CVS, wherever the hell.) that work just as well -- if not better -- than that fancy pants mess.

l'oréal elnett extra stronghold hairspray (target, $12.99)

Wait -- why in gorgeous b hair hell did I wait until just now to try L'Oreal Elnett hairspray? And the sad part is, I got this in my Allure Best of Beauty swag, and it's been sitting in my apartment for, like, ever. What a complete douche I am. I've been using a higher-end hairspray for quite a while, and it really worked just fine. But I was digging through all of my sh*t the other day and came across this baby, and decided to see what all of the damn fuss was about. And there is a lot of fuss. This stuff is known as the cheap(er) industry favorite, and hairstylists love it, sometimes on the DL. (That's down low to you youngsters.) So I tried it, and son of a sh*t, it's really awesome. It's the finest-misting hairspray that I've ever used. I was originally a little put off by the whole "extra stronghold" mess, but this stuff is NOT Aquanet. It holds your styling, but is 100% brushable. I AM IN LOVE. GET IT.

l'oreal voluminous mascara (target, $5.84)

Okay, so I didn't realize until just this second that both of my picks come from L'Oreal. I didn't plan that ish. Truth. And I know that I've talked about L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara before, but it should be talked about often -- sh*t's the sh*t. Don't get me wrong, I love the expensive mascara as much as the next shallow gal, but this druggie(store) goodie is pretty much my favorite (or at least top two-ish), regardless of price. This is some ride-or-die b type lash stuff, right here. We're talking full, creamy (bleh), really volumizing mascara. Yaaaaas. Why get all expensive and fancy when that crap's not necessary? Not on my watch, people. Not on my watch.

Pinch 'dem pennies, baby.



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What's the Deal With Those Beauty Boxes, Anyway? (ft. beauty box five)

AKA Whaddup, beauty boxes? Do you know how hard it was for me to not make crude jokes in this b? I deserve an award, or something. Okay, enough -- let's take a tour.

Find out more about this good good here.




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Random Homie: tarte Ultimate Lashes MultiplEYE Lash Primer & Mascara Duo from QVC

qvc, $27 for both

I love very few things in life, a couple of them being a GOOD ass deal and luxurious lashes. So when I found out that QVC was selling this tarte Ultimate Lashes MultiplEYE Lash Primer & Mascara Duo for $27 for FULL SIZE PRODUCTS, I begged them to send me a sample to test. I mean, this ish is a $41 value, guys -- that's a badass deal.

Now before I get into the nitty gritty deets of this stuff, lemme give you a little backstory on my lash history. (Lashtory?) I used Latisse for like a year and a half, and had insane (non-clown posse) eyelashes. When I had to stop using it, for reasons of being a broke ass b, it broke my shallow heart. Since that time, I have tried a ton of products to try to get the most from my post-Latisse, "normal person" lashes. The combination of this tarte multiplEYE lash primer and Lights, Camera, Lashes! Mascara really give a ton of extra jazz hands to my lashes, and really gets the job done. I just do one coat of primer, wait a bit, then a coat (or two, if you're nasty) of mascara. Viola, sexy mofo eyeballs in the house.

If you're looking to get the most from your lashes, without going the fauxness route, totally try this little duo. Check it out on QVC here.

via parksandrec tumblr

You'll be forever photoshoot ready, Knope style.


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Random Homies: I'm Upping My Eyebrow Game With Billion Dollar Brows.

Hi, my name is Shannon, and I'm obsessed with eyebrows. But if you guys have read, like, ANYTHING I've ever written then you already know that. So when Billion Dollar Brows sent me some products to add to my iron-clad brow ritual, I was pretty closed-minded on the whole thing. I have been using the same eyebrow pencil/powder combo for roughly 48 years, and I don't like to w around too much on that routine. I like what I like, mmmmkay?

top, sans pencil (duh), bottom, after using the universal brow pencil

I started out with the Universal Brow Pencil ($15), which is exactly what the name states -- the color blends with pretty much any eyebrow color, unless maybe if you have EXTREMELY light brows. It's a nice, ashy tone that's a lightish to medium brown color. Because lemme tell you, if you use an orangey/brassy pencil, you WILL look crazy. I promise. And I'm not really sure why it looks like I was punched in the eye in this picture, weird lighting does crazy things. (???)

They also sent over this little beaut, the Smudge Brush ($15), which I originally thought was just completely unnecessary. But using it to blend in the penciling really makes it look like 76% better than the pencil alone. I find myself using this em effer every day, which is pretty shocking, considering my high levels of laziness.

The other product I tried was the Brow Duo Pencil ($18), which is half concealer, half highlighter pencil. It's like a mermaid, but makes your eyebrows friggin' awesome. (Why can't I just be a mermaid with amazing ass eyebrows? Life is so unfair.) This pencil is the perfect little friend to carry in your purse to give your eyes a pick-me-up with a dab of highlighter under the brow or a swipe of concealer to mask any craziness that you might have happening on your mug. I wasn't sure if this puppy would be too creamy to work on my oily ass mess of a face, but it's totally awesome and non-gross. (I'm very scientific with this ish.)

Bottom line -- I've been using all of these b's on the reg, and giving my old eyebrow homies a rest. This stuff is as good as a juggling Dylan McKay...

via 90210gifs

And that's the good good. Check out everything that BDB has to offer here.




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My Old School (Lip) Jam and a New School Twist

clinique, $15

SURELY, if you are reading this blog, then you know about Clinique's Almost Lipstick in Black Honey. If not, then honey boo, it's time to get up on that train (and ride it). It's like a sheer-y, a little glossy, perfect bit of color to your lips. As if you've been drinking red wine -- and maybe noshing on a lil' cheesecake -- on a veranda with Blanche Devereaux all day. And who the hell doesn't want that lip color?!? This stuff has been around for years, so it's like an O.G. lip deal, much like my Blanche. Thank you for being a friend, Black Honey.

my new friend, shine attract lipstick (left) and black honey (right)

But I have a new pal, you guys. Avon's Shine Attract Lipstick in All Around Russet is kind of similar to my Black Honey, and the lipstick is on sale RIGHT NOW for $5.99. The exact shade is not available yet (this was another goodie from my Allure Best of Beauty haul, I believe), but there are a plethora of badass shades up in that b that you should try. Oh, and here's a swatch -- because I love your ass. (Not your ASS ass, but you.)

Pretty, pretty sweet, right? And I'm totally into the clear whatever it is around the color part of the lipstick. It makes it so un-lipsticky, and shiny. I'm totally feeling it. So I now have to share my love between my old school homegirl and my new fling. I feel like that douchey dude from Sister Wives.

 Totally feel you Kody with a k. Totally.



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It's a NYX-plosion, B's!

I have never, ever, until recently, tried NYX Cosmetics. I know, I know -- I'm a horrible beauty person. I remedied this situation by asking the peeps at NYX to send me a palette to try, and because they are awesome, they did. They sent me a couple of palettes, but I find myself using one in particular EVERY SINGLE DAY. You know when you have one of those eyeshadow deals. You try to stop using the same sh*t constantly, but somehow your shadow brush keeps gravitating toward that b on the reg. Well, that's me and this bad boy, the NYX Wicked dreams Palette -- proof that being an old, always-in-a-using-the-same-stuff-rut curmudgeon doesn't always have to be a bad thing.

nyx wicked dreams palette, $15

I love that this palette is mostly neutrals, and then has a few jewel-toned shadows tossed in the mix.

Here are just a few of the roughly bajillion looks that you can create with this 24 shadow palette. And the quality of these thang-a-langs ain't too shabby, either, especially considering the low, low price tag of $15. But guess what? My mutha effin' NYX-plotation didn't even stop there. I was looking to buy a matte liquid lipstick from another brand, and while I was reading reviews, I saw that NYX makes a similar product with their Soft Matte Lip Cream. And with a price of $6, it is a fraction of a fraction of the price of the original lip product I was going to buy. So I got my ass in the car and drove nearly 29834982 miles (okay, it was 20 minutes) to the far ass away Ulta that's closest to my house to snatch these mofos up as fast as I could. (Oh, and P to the S, they are currently BOGO at Ulta. So it was a total $9 investment.)

addis ababa (top) and monte carlo (bottom), $6 each

I LOVE THESE THINGS. The Monte Carlo shade is especially magical. It's like roses and unicorns came together to live a tiny, tiny life on your pouty lips. And the formula is different than really anything else I've ever used. It is matte, but not pilly or drying -- if you've ever used a long wear lip product you are totally picking up what I'm throwing down when I say "pilly," right? Yep, thought so.

Okay, enough raving for today. I have to keep up my b face street cred. So what's the moral to this long-ass story??? I'm a total NYX-onette right now.

via buzzfeed

Okay, that was totally unrelated to anything, but I've been dying to use this GIF for over a week. Via la Sugar Bear!

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Random Homie: Pixi Lash Line Ink in Black Silk

Holy eff, you guys. It's already NYE. How the hell did that happen?!? We survived the Mayan apocalypse, so now it's time to look super sexual for your New Year's nonsense you've got happening tonight. And maybe that ish involves a sexy ass winged eyeliner. If so, I have the RH for dat azz.

pixi lash line ink in black silk, $16 @ target

The Pixi Lash Line Ink is pretty badass, mofos. The tip is soooo freakin' thin it should be illegal (don't be a perv), so you can totally pull off the extreme (or not) winged liner look.

It's also really inky and dark, which is the business, in my book. I do apologize for the lack of other makeup in these pictures, but I'm a lazy b. I have zero excuses. These pictures are also kind of Aeon Flux-y, which is both gross and creepy. What can I say? I'm the worst, and I hope to induce nightmares.

If you're ready to bring the full-on sex, go get the Pixi Lash Line Ink in Black Silk at your local Target. It's almost THIS sexy.

via 90210gifs

But let's be real, nothing is THAT sexy. Is that a wetsuit top tucked into jorts? I can hardly contain myself.

P.S. While you're there, I dare you not to try this on. It's impossible. Impossible, I tell you.




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Random Homie: Violent Eyes

Do you ever just want to look like a badass b in, like, 2 minutes? Then, sister friend, do I EVER have the product for your ass. This is also for those people that are all, "I CAN'T DO A DAMN CAT EYE, MOFO. MY DRAWING SKILLS DON'T SWING THAT WAY." (They talk in all caps, because they're mad that they can't look cool.)

Violent Eyes in Violet Glitterati, $9.99 for set

Meet Violent Eyes, from the makers of Violent Lips, those crazy ass/awesome temporary lip tattoos. There are a bunch of different color variations, from black glitter to Union Jack, for premiere night of Downton Abbey. (Obviously. Dowager Countess would totally approve.) They are really easy to apply. You just need a wet cotton swab (sounds kinky) to get these puppies to stick. It really takes just a couple of minutes from start to finish. And if you are applying these to your baby (totally not approved), you can trim the inner part to fit your eye.

I chose the most Amy Winehouse-ish shape (RIP, boo!) to try. Isn't this ish grand? And removal was really easy. I first tried to kind of pick at it, to see what kind of staying power they would have. Yeah, that didn't work. They didn't budge. So I took another cotton swab, and put olive oil on it, and rubbed it over the area. I could then pull it right off. If you are a fancy ass fancy person, you could also use an oil-based makeup remover. But we don't use that mess around these parts, ya' hear? I am totally co-signing on these beasts. They make me feel fancy as hell.

via nuncasabemejor

On that note, I bid you "Good day!" sir. Go check out your endless possibilities for a fancy eyeball feast here.



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Random Homie: Snap N Easy Organizer

 This is how I live my life, people. This is half of my "daily" makeup bag. Yes, it's a old, raggedy ass ziploc bag with holes in it. Deal with it. I'm a disgusting, gross, terrible human person. Luckily, Snap N Easy sent over one of their cute little brush/pencil organizers for me to try and get my damn life in order.

Snap N Easy, $14

This little muffin has eight places to stick all of your ish in, if you are a reasonable person, or a couple of my main b brushes and eyeliners, if you're me. You just snap those ho hoes right in, and as long as they aren't excessively thick or thin, they are in there for the long haul. My only small issue is that my little eyeliner brush was too skinny to hold, but that's a mutha effin' first world pain if I have ever heard one. And there's also another fun surprise on this baby.

There are crystals on that b*tch! This thing is just friggin' adorable, you guys. I put it in my purse one day when I was going to work, and the girls I work with thought it was cuter than a newborn puppy.

I'm one step away from Caboodling out in this b*tch, y'all. Watch out. Check out the Snap N Easy for yourself here. It's $14 for sparkles, b's!



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Fake Your Way to a Knocked Up Glow

We all know by now that the Duchess of somewhere (formerly common-type lady known as Kate Middleton) is pregnant with the royalest royal baby that's ever royaled. Sidebar: What if it comes out all ginger-y and Prince Harry like? Wouldn't that be awesome? Okay, I'm getting off track. Pregnant ladies are known for having that lovely ass glow of life, or something. But what about for people like me, who will probably never have a kid-in-the-uterus type situation happening? I'm more of the "fly solo around the world and die alone" type. (Possibly RIP, Ameila Erhardt.) Don't cry for me, Argentina, it's just my personality. I'd rather read 2.7 million books alone. (I had a sh*t ton of Book It free personal pan pizzas racked up when I was a kid.) Luckily, I have pawed through a lot of beauty products to MANUFACTURE THE GLOW. 

tarte amazonian clay blush in natural beauty, $25 & nars blush in orgasm, $28

I have found a beast of a combo when it comes to glowing cheeks. I start with tarte's amazonian clay blush (I use the color Natural Beauty, but you can do whatever rocks your ish.) for staying power. NOTHING stays on my oily mug like this blush does. Then I like to top it off with Nars blush in Orgasm, to give the cheeks a little shimmer and glow.

chanel's lucky stripes iridescent powder, $95 & physician's formula pearls of perfection, about $13

If you are looking for an all over face glow, I have found two great products at opposite ends of the rich b*tch scale. I was given the Chanel Lucky Stripes sometime/somewhere, and have found it to be quite friggin' delightful. I find myself using it when I want to be all glowy-faced and a pretty, pretty princess. But let's be real -- ish is expensive. If you are a little lighter in the pocketbook (I'm looking at myself), then the Physician's Formula Pearls of Perfection is a little more realistic. It's not AS great as the Chanel powder, but it's pretty damn good for a drugstore product, so don't cry over it and sh*t.

davine's nounou illuminating conditioner, $22.50 at drugstore.com

What about pregnant lady hair? I've always heard that they have great hair days, like for nine months. Must be hormones. Freaking science, man. I have been loving davine's Nounou Illuminating Conditioner to keep my hair looking flossy, lately. It's super gentle, and moisturizes hair without being heavy and gross.

Now don't be offended if people ask if you're expecting. It's not your empire-waited top, it's your gorgeous ass glow. Glow worms have nothing on you, boo!




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Random Homie: My Well Kept Drugstore Secret (Because I'm a Shady, Shady B)

Way back in my late college days, and right after (So about 1923. No!), I discovered a brand of eye liner that quickly became my all-time favorite go to. But, I couldn't find it all the time, and I then found myself discovering it less and less often, until I couldn't find it at all. That's why I was never able to share my find with all of you fine citizens. The brand is Styli-Style, and luckily for us all, it is back in this mofo! They sent me a bunch of products to try from the brand new re-launch, and here are my favorites.

Line & Seal 24 Semi-Permanent Eye Liner in Black Glitter, $5.99

This liner is my boo thang that I was completely raving about. It seriously lasts until you remove it, no nonsense about it. If you are oily, or just want your liner to last until you are an 89 year old woman in a rocking chair, this ish is right up your proverbial alley. I have been using it on the daily since I got it, and it is just as awesome as I recalled. No dumb rose colored glasses, here.

Lip Paint Liquid Lipstick in Tres Chic, $5.99

I also tried the Lip Paint liquid lipstick in two colors -- Tres Chic (above) and Country Girl. I was totally into these shining stars, as well. They are super shiny, and fade well, as you can see on the bottom lip pic. I friggin' hate lip products that fade into a crappy, blotchy ass, mess, and many of them do. Not the case here. And the applicator brush is a little stiffer (heh) so the application is precise.

Here's my wrinkly, old gamgam hand with all of the colors on it. Pretty ish, and totally reasonably priced. I'm so glad Styli-Style is back on my scene, and I can start buying this mess again! You can try it for yourself my finding a location near you here, or being a complete lazy ass and buying here online. I vote lazy style, but I always do.



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Random (Holiday) Homie: Yves Saint Laurent Holiday Set

Sephora, $65 value of $107

Ermahgerd, you guys. I actually scored an item from my Never Gonna Get It list!

Don't worry -- I love to be six months late on web trends.

Sephora sent over the YSL Holiday Set for me to try, which includes the Touche Eclat, which I have not been shy about obsessing over. The set includes:

An ultra glam holiday set featuring Touche Éclat N°2, Golden Gloss N°10, a mini Mascara Volume Effet Faux Cils in black, and a mini waterproof eye liner in black—all presented in a beautiful makeup bag.

The makeup bag is the perfect size for a crazy/hoarder-ish/I-have-a-major-lip-gloss-problem person like myself to keep in my purse. For some, it might be a great makeup-I-use-everyday bag. The eyeliner is GORGEOUS. It's deep, inky black and goes on insanely smooth. Like Al Green music smooth.  The lip gloss is crazy shiny and glittery.

It kind of tastes fruity, and isn't sticky. It makes my lips feel like a sexy Studio 54 party, but even glossier and with extra glitter. And when it comes to my new boyfriend, Touche Eclat, I have to say that it totally lives up to my expectations. Because I am an oily beast, I use it over a primer, but it totally brightens up my under eye area like the bossiest of bosses. It alone retails for $40, so I feel like the set it a great value. The last piece of the kit is a mini mascara. It's very volumizing and lengthening, and the best part? IT SMELLS LIKE ROSES.



LIKE ROSES, people. You don't get more luxury than that. Check out the set for your own damn self, here.



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The Badass B List: Drugstore Cowboys

I have shared with you guys before that I'm a cheap ass b.  I love perusing the aisles of Target/CVS/Walgreens/Wherever the hell to see the newest drugstore wares available. I've been doing it since I was in college, which was roughly two years ago. (Shut up! I want to start lying about my age. I'm sick of being the Blanche of the group. I want to be the Brenda Walsh again. I want to go to Paris on Summer break!) Over all of these years I have found some old standby favorites, and have compiled them here for you.

Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair Serum 

drugstore.com, $19.99

I effing adore this stuff. As a beauty blogger (hoity toity ass), it's kind of my deal to try out a lot of different skin care dealios. They don't always work for my skin, which results in crazy breakouts and a hot, hot mess of a face. My life is very glamorous. But, I can always count on this stuff to bring my face back to normalcy. It's a little pricey for a drugstore item, but it's very reasonable for a retinol. Trust. And retinols are great for acne as well as wrinkles, so another sweet thing about this formula is that it's a serum, and not paired with some heavy ass cream that won't work for oily skin.

Sally Hershberger Supreme Lift Root Boost & Heat Protect

drugstore.com, about $11

Have ya' heard? My hair is fine and flat. Meh. I've tried almost one billion (I counted) volumizing products, and I feel like this one works the best. I apply it only at the roots, because it takes away shine, like all volumizers tend to do. And the hair stylist used this on my hair when I was a fancy lady and got my hair cut at the Sally Hershberger salon in NYC. So that means one thing: It's good, y'all.

Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castille Soap

target, $16.99 for a BIG ASS bottle

 I'm kind of a hippie. I'm one of those annoying people that tries to eat only organic food, buy my food from a local hippie market, blah, blah, blah. That ish does not really mix well with beauty products a lot of times. So whenever I can, I try to use more natural-ish stuff. Dr. Bronner's is pretty much as natural as you can get when it comes to soap. I use it as a body wash and a shaving cream, but apparently you can even use it for toothpaste and cleaning your house and crap -- too much work. A little goes a long way with this stuff, and the peppermint is refreshing as hell. Just make sure you avoid your eyes and no no spots with extreme care. There's peppermint oil in that thurrr bottle.

L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara

target, SPECIAL HOLIDAY DUAL PACK!!! $8.99

This. B*tch. Seriously, I love this mascara (almost) as much as I love cake. And I know I have shared my love before, but I have been trying a friggin' myriad of brands and formulas over the past several months, and I always seem to come back to Voluminous. I put it millimeters under my ride or die b's, Diorshow and Lancome Hypnose. Voluminous is just so damn rich and thick and makes it look like you have the lushest of lashes. AND it's not crunchy when it dries. (I hate that mess.)

Rembrandt Deeply White Toothpaste

drustore.com, about $6

This toothpaste is about twice the price of a tube of Crest, or whatever, but the whitening power is so much greater. I am not CRAZY about using a non-natural toothpaste (hippie, again), but sometimes my vain ass overpowers my brain. And when it does, I use this toothpaste. Because the ish works. Period.

Seche Vite Top Coat

CVS, $8.99

Once again, this is a little pricier than a cheapo polish top coat. BUT. This stuff is freaking amazing. It's very thick, but not in a hard-to-apply kind of way. It's more of an almost acrylic looking nail that you are left with. And it's a fast drying top coat, so you don't have to sit on your ass of three hours waiting for your nails to dry. (That part is completely optional.)

That's it, boo boos! Have you guys used any drugstore items that you can't live without? Share with a b! This ain't no one way street.

P.S. Maybe being Blanche isn't so bad.

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Random Homie: Susan Posnick COLORME in Lilly

Lemme make this ish quick, because I'm going to be late for work. I was sent this little beaut from the peeps at Susan Posnick, who was a celebrity/model makeup artist. It's called COLORME ($32), and it's a little blush system. And I say system, because it has a powder puff on top, which is the perfect size for the baby apple of your cheek! And the top has a mirror, which is the knees. (Shortening of Bee's Knees. It's what the kids do these days.) So because of these factors, this little kitten has been delegated as my purse blush. (Which is totally a thing that I need, being the oily grossness that I am. Blush fades from oily faces like a mofo boss. It's not awesome.) I can just pop this stuff on my cheeks in two seconds, and I'm back to looking like an in-my-30's cherub. Something that I'm into, if you're wondering. Oh, and the color that I have, Lily, is inspired by Natalie Portman. Now that's just sexy. So what I'm saying is...

via mrhankey

Now I gotta go get them dollas. And I'm not a stripper, though I wish I were.



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