Showing posts with label Celebrities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Celebrities. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Here's Your BFF Jennifer Lawrence, Who You May Or May Not Be Over
Are you still into J Law(r)? Or are you of the camp that thinks her whole deal is a shtick-y shtick shtick and you've had just about enough of her bullshit? Like the whole, "LOLZ I FELL AGAIN" thing is definitely a thing now, but I happen to still find this little Hot Pocket endearing as eff, and I hate everyone, but that's just one layperson's opinion.
I did glean an interesting bit from this video -- Jenny LIKES A BOOTCUT JEAN. How Jennifer Aniston 2.0 of her! I bet she slathers on the Aveeno, too.
I wonder if hanging out with Jen 2.0 is like going zip lining. At first you're like, "This shit is fun," but around zip line seven of ten you're more, "I think I'm done and I might vomit if I don't get this GD helmet off."
JK, JL. I love annoying zip lines and I would soar through the sky forever with you. Islands in the stream, that is what we are.
I've had wine.
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
I Love Your Ass
,
Jennifer Lawrence
,
Okay
Thursday, July 30, 2015
GUUUUUURL Of The Day: All Of Us, For Not Being On A Jet Ski With Jennifer Lawrence And Amy Schumer
I mean, can a bitch hop on one of those banana boat things? An inner-tube? Some type of shit?
Here's Jennifer Lawrence driving Amy Schumer around on a GD jet ski, gallivanting around like a couple of Ariels, while I went to jury duty today. (Also, how long can I milk that annoying situation? Just today, or what?) I hate watersports (ZING-A-THON!) and even I want to get in on this action.
And this wasn't the only activity of the day.
Of course, Jen and her tiny, baby-sized belly button are at the top of the pyramid. If I were part of these festivities, I would mos def be the homegirl lying in the front, and not because I was wearing a knee brace and just got a fierce-ass perm. I just hate participation.
Actually, I wouldn't even be on the boat. If Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence called me on a three-way call, one from a phone that was shaped like a pair of lips and one from a clear plastic phone with colorful wires inside, and personally invited me to go frolic in the sea, I would be like, "Sorry, bitch, I'm watching Judge Judy in a room darkened with blackout curtains." And then I would shove more white cheddar popcorn into my pie hole. Because that is my actual life.
Let's just try to end this on a positive note.
SOS, send more popcorn.
Pin It
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Adele Makes A Really Hot Dude
Thank you for the birthday wishes I had a wonderful time! I was my hero x #gottahavefaith pic.twitter.com/FMSPQPUGMD
— Adele (@OfficialAdele) May 6, 2015
I have to say that Adele is really covering all of the hot-ass bases for me here. I already think that regular, ol' everyday Adele is a major sexpot, but she really upped the sexy ante by dressing in drag as George Michael for her birthday, seeing as I have a well-documented thing for GM. (P.S. Reading the comments on that video still brings me some strange sense of delight and wonder. People are effed in the brain.)
Also, how does a bitch get invited to an Adele birthday party, because I want in. I can dress as any dude you want me to, Addie. David Arquette in Scream? You got it, dude. Donald Trump? Begrudgingly, but, sure. Jordan Catalano? Obviously. Shit, I'll even dress up as
Plus, it sounds like a much better time than this dumb party:
I just got a Drakkar Noir contact headache from that bullshit. THANKS, BIEBS. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT.
Pin It
Labels:
Adele
,
Birthdays
,
Celebrities
,
I'm Into It
,
Sexy Mofos
Monday, November 17, 2014
Sorry Beyoncé (And Tina And The Dad), Solange Is The Best Knowles
I'mma let you finish Beyoncé (no, I'm not), but Solange is the best Knowles of all time. I know that you may want to fight me on this. Or maybe you don't care. Or maybe you only know SK from that elevator shit. BUT SHE IS THE BEST.
If you don't believe me, check out this video of Solange performing a choreographed dance with her adorable son Julez at her wedding this weekend. Don't act like you aren't putting that dress on your Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus list this year.
And if that dress isn't bomb enough for you, SHE WORE MULTIPLE CAPES for her wedding festivities. Not to mention her double golden cuffs and hair perfection. Finding Yoncé in those pictures is almost like trying to find a hidden whatever in a Highlights magazine. All eyes on Solange.
Oh, and this:
I rest my case, your honor.
Pin It
Labels:
Beyoncé
,
Can I Say Shit And Kids Together? I Just Did
,
Celebrities
,
Hot Shit
,
Kids
,
Music
,
Wedding
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
This Is Literally Renée Zellweger
You know when people are all, "This is LITERALLY the worst day of my life," when really the Starbucks barista gave them an (Ariana) grande instead of a venti (AKA A LARGE), or some shit? Well, they're using 'literally' wrong. And you probably think I'm in that same boat. Because there's no damn way that this is literally and actually Renée Zellweger.
BUT YOU'RE WRONG, BRO.
Listen, I am the first person to say that if you feel like effing around with your face, do the damn thing. I don't care. It's your face. What the hell do I care? But the fact that I thought that this was Robin Wright and Christina Applegate's first cousin is slightly problematic. And not through marriage.
RZ hasn't been in a movie since 2010, so I don't know what her life is all about. The singular thing that I do know is that her signature Zellweger squint started bumping "Since U Been Gone" and peaced out this bitch sometime in the last four years. And that I would love to get my hands on her eyebrows.
Live your life and do what you want, Renée, I just don't want to feel like this every time I see your mug.
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
What Is Happening Here
,
Who-dizzle?
,
Yo' Face
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Hide Your Lady Flowers, Robin Thicke Is Back On The Prowl
I hate everything about this picture. You need to know that. |
According to Page Six, Master Thicke (many dry heaves abound) threw himself an endlessly classy Divorce Party last Friday, where ". . . he was in great spirits, and put on a mix of music including pop, hip-hop, older stuff from the ’90s and soul. Everyone was dancing until past 3 a.m." Thanks for the playlist and sched, anonymous source of boring. Also, using the phrase "older stuff from the '90s" is troubling to my brain.
But that's not all. LEONARDO MF-ING DICAPRIO was there to assist in the popping of the bottles and whatever-ing of the models. He was probably blowing vapor ciggie smoke all up in that bitch. And you KNOW that Leo wore that damn hat. He had to. The dress code was douche casual.
Whatever, Robin. Slang that thang all over the globe and see if we care. We're all collectively too busy for your shit with preparing our Halloween costumes. I've already called being this kid, so everyone else can get off his jock, that costume is officially taken. I WROTE IT ON THE SIGN-UP SHEET.
Pin It
Labels:
Annoying People
,
Celebrities
,
Douches
,
Party Times
,
Robin Thicke
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Watch Jessica Lange Pull An Us And Pretend That Lea Michele Doesn't Exist
JK, Lea. I follow you on Instagram for some inexplicable reason. And that dress is beautiful. And you have great hair. Okay, enough nice crap. Let's get to the bitchassness.
Much gratitude to Gawker, and more specifically Rich Juzwiak, for bringing the video below into my life. (And even more thanks are owed to Rich for introducing me to the likes of Grey Gardens and Paris is Burning via his blog FourFour.) I really can't imagine living my day-to-day life without seeing Lea Michele be completely ignored by the light of our lives, Jessica Lange, now that I've been exposed to its glory.
I'm sure this all happened because Ms. Lange was wondering the same thing that we all are: HOW LONG DO YOU NEED TO POSE FOR A HANDFUL OF PICTURES? That and Jessica was probably just trying to get inside and see if all of the catered pizza rolls were gone, like any sane human would do.
I will admit that it takes me 908543095 minutes to take a semi-decent photo of myself to use in beauty-related posts using a camera timer in my cave of solitude, but I don't possess TV-levels of attractiveness. I don't even have infomerical-levels of beauty. Not to mention, my eyes are usually mid-flutter and I look like this in every picture:
I would hate to be a famous. Most of your awkward social interactions are filmed and spread around like Justin Bieber's circa 2012 haircut in Alabama (I can say that, my family's from Alabama and I kind of enjoy Lynyrd Skynyrd) so assholes like me can make fun of you. I don't think that there's a video of me falling flat on my face in Wal-Mart while wearing slutty knee-high boots from Charlotte Russe in 2007, even though that really happened. I'll just stick to being a mediocre normal.
Pin It
Monday, August 11, 2014
On This Extremely Sad Day In Celebrity News, Courtney Stodden Is Our Rainbow
via stodd's instagram |
__________________________________________________
I had to draw a line there, because everything that follows just seems even more ridiculous considering the circumstances. So please forgive my horrible soul, but it's now back to doing stuff like talking about weens and posting ridiculous cat gifs.
Or more pointedly (Get it? Yes, I still spell out "boobs" on calculators.), the big news that the Jackie O and JFK of our times, Courtney Stodden and her estranged husband Doug Hutchison, are back together! And RE-ENGAGED! That's not a thing, but let's them have it.
via eonline |
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
Courtney Stodden
,
Love and Stuff
,
Re-Engaged
Monday, June 9, 2014
Nic Cage Wore A CRAZY ASS Outfit To A Guns N' Roses Concert
via gnr's facebook |
Maybe we should get a closer look at all of this effery. And, yes, that's Nic Cage's meme face on Nic Cage's shirt.
Here's a checklist of what we're dealing with here:
- An Ann Taylor Loft blazer
- A well-formed cowboy hat
- Henry VIII's hand jewels and cane thing
- Sunglasses inside
- All of your gam gam's "fancy" necklaces at once
- A possible holster/fringed chaps (assless-ness unknown)
- HIS OWN FACE
- Red wine teeth (I'm assuming)
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
Clothes
,
Dudes
,
What Is Happening Here
,
You Look Crazy
Monday, April 21, 2014
We Can All Reaffirm Our Love For Jon Hamm, As He Pretty Much Says That The Biebs Is Terrible.
via men's fitness |
“Look at Bieber or whoever. You’re like, ‘What the f**k, man? What are you doing? Why?’ There’s no one telling those people no, and it’s a shame. [He should have] a mom or a dad or a really good friend who can say, ‘Hey, sh**head!’ You see people in the world and you’re like, ‘Do you know how a washing machine works? Do you know how to wash a dish? Life skills are something we’re missing… just s**t you needed to learn in life. There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just s**t you needed to learn in life.”
Jon sounds like a straight up crotchety old man, and I'm about that life. Put on a Mr. Rogers sweater and let's get bout it bout it. Okay, this is getting gross. BUT LEARN HOW TO WASH A DAMN DISH, JB. LEARN IT. Jon Hamm and I stand in a united front, as usual. Except for the time that he said to stop talking about his man area. Non-united with that shit. I'll probably start a MySpace page for it. So THERE, Jon Hamm. I TALK ABOUT WHAT I WANT.
I'm sorry I'm so yell-y. I had one drink. You can see why everyone hates me.
Pin It
Labels:
Bag O' D*cks
,
Celebrities
,
Dudes
,
I Just Fell In Love
,
Jon Hamm
,
Justin Bieber
Friday, April 18, 2014
THE LILO 'DONE DID HIM' LIST IS LEGIT.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I like Lindsay Lohan. And not in an ironic way. I do think that she's kind of a shit, in a I've-been-famous-since-I-was-12-and-I'm-surrounded-by-users-and-yes-men kind of way, but it seems like she's trying this time around.
Also, she might be making some truth revisions to some things she's saying. And the way that she insists upon her bronzer being applied is questionable. BUT SHE'S TRYING. (I think.)
So I like her. And I like that she admitted her eff list was applicable to real times. I really didn't expect that.
Sorry, Biel, she and JT got jiggy with it. Put that in your protein shake and drink it down. She's going to be doing hate-squats ALL NIGHT tonight.
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
Lindsay Lohan
,
Not As Crazy
,
Sex Times
,
Truths
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Nick Carter Gets Married, Looks...Different.
pic via intouch |
Listen, we're all getting to be old mofos. NC and I are about the same age, so I feel you, dude. But it's not even that he's looking decrepit in the mug, so much, just different. Like Ryan Seacrest and an attractive, yet hairless, cartoon wolverine had a baby.
Also, what kind of insane in the membrane bitch am I that I'm really irritated by the cake? The "Nick" should be on the black part and the "Lauren" should be on the pink, and they should be standing on their respective sides. GET YOUR DAMN LIVES TOGETHER. Unless...it shouldn't? I fancy myself a progressive person. Do whatever, Backstreet Boys alums. I can't be bothered.
Pin It
Labels:
90's
,
CAKE
,
Celebrities
,
Love and Stuff
,
Music
,
Wedding
,
Who-dizzle?
,
YOUR FACE
Friday, March 28, 2014
Aubrey Plaza Makes Us All Want Ring Pops To Add Life Drama
Ring Pop! - watch more funny videos
This video really has everything that I need in life: Aubrey Plaza's unconventionally dark weirdness, rock candy masquerading as crack rock, love triangles, and fanny packs. It's Ring Pop-levels of perfect.
I want THEM ALL.
Pin It
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Zac Efron Got Into Fisticuffs With Some Homeless Dudes, Let's Infer What The Hell He Was Doing.
nice shark tooth, bud. |
We're told cops were on patrol under the Harbor Freeway when they saw Zac and a man he identified as his bodyguard. Cops saw Zac and the other guy in a full-blown melee with at least 3 other people.
After breaking up the fight, cops questioned Zac. He told them they had run out of gas and were sitting in the car. Zac said while waiting for a tow truck they threw a bottle out the window -- he never said what was in the bottle -- and it smashed on the pavement near a group of transients.
Zac said the transients confronted him and the bodyguard because they believed the pair hurled the bottle at them. Zac says 2 of the transients attacked the bodyguard and when Zac got out of the car to help, he got cold cocked in the mouth. Zac said, "It was the hardest I've ever been hit in my life."
Erm, okay. That story sounds like some complete and utter bullshit. So instead of scooping that faux knowledge into our innocent brains, let's make up what might have been going on in this enigma-filled situation. (Beyond the obvious late night hoodrat activities that are pretty likely.)
He was practicing for his newly-formed street gang.
Level of Probability: 10. Please, if you don't want to be in a dancing street gang, then you can get the hell out of here.
He wanted to finish watching Frozen in the car before he got home, and the homeless dudes hate "Let it Go."
Level of Probability: 8. "Let it Go" is super annoying.
He was trying to make a Mentos/Diet Coke bottle rocket for his science project, and it totally sucked.
Level of Probability: 6. That hypothesis was way off.
His sea monkey colony quit that bitch and jumped out the window.
Level of Probability: Unknown. I wasn't allow to have sea monkeys, so I really can't judge their lifestyle choices.
He wanted the guys to read him Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark for a bedtime story, but those dudes were more Goosebumps fans.
Level of Probability: 7. It's a personal preference. I totally get it.
He thought the transient men were vampires, so he was donating his blood.
Level of Probability: 4. Generosity killed the cat, or something.
They were all playing a rousing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos together and shit got heated.
Level of Probability: 8. One dude was totally hogging the pink one. You know it.
Okay, I'm all out of ideas. My brain is in shambles. What do you guys think happened?
Pin It
He was practicing for his newly-formed street gang.
Level of Probability: 10. Please, if you don't want to be in a dancing street gang, then you can get the hell out of here.
He wanted to finish watching Frozen in the car before he got home, and the homeless dudes hate "Let it Go."
Level of Probability: 8. "Let it Go" is super annoying.
He was trying to make a Mentos/Diet Coke bottle rocket for his science project, and it totally sucked.
Level of Probability: 6. That hypothesis was way off.
His sea monkey colony quit that bitch and jumped out the window.
Level of Probability: Unknown. I wasn't allow to have sea monkeys, so I really can't judge their lifestyle choices.
He wanted the guys to read him Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark for a bedtime story, but those dudes were more Goosebumps fans.
Level of Probability: 7. It's a personal preference. I totally get it.
He thought the transient men were vampires, so he was donating his blood.
Level of Probability: 4. Generosity killed the cat, or something.
They were all playing a rousing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos together and shit got heated.
Level of Probability: 8. One dude was totally hogging the pink one. You know it.
Okay, I'm all out of ideas. My brain is in shambles. What do you guys think happened?
Labels:
A Little Hot
,
Celebrities
,
Fights
,
Quit Lying
,
Weirdness
Friday, March 21, 2014
New Favorite Mofo Friday: Shailene Woodley Wants Us To Be Pregnant With The World
pic via people |
I kind had an inkling that homegirl was a little interesting when I read somewhere a while back that she likes to forage for food, and eats shit she finds on the side of the road, like she's on an episode of GD Extreme Cheapskates.
But if that didn't pique my interest enough, she sure as eff has my attention now. Shailene was giving an assload of interesting factoids about her perfect weirdness the other night at the premiere of that Divergent movie. Here are a couple of the finer points:
- “I like to … give my vagina a little vitamin D … If you’re feeling depleted, go in the sun for an hour and see how much energy you get. Or, if you live in a place that has heavy winters, when the sun finally comes out, spread your legs and get some sunshine.” GO OUTSIDE AND SUN YOUR NO NOs. Maybe with one of those foldy tinfoil-y things under it, like you're an asshole villian guy in an 80s summer-themed movie!
- On her favorite beauty tip: “Get in a bath and look at your body and be like, ‘Wow, thank you so much for hosting my mind and my heart,’ like as women you know, and also be pregnant with the world. I think that’s really beautiful beauty advice, like, close your eyes and think about all of the other women out there who aren’t in positions to be on a red carpet in Hollywood tonight enjoying this beautiful weather and all of these beautiful smiles and put those women in your womb and be pregnant with them and send them love.” I don't really want to be pregnant with anything, EXCEPT ALL OF THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.
Celebrities should probably just stop giving interviews, because no one can ever say anything weirder than that. I LOVE THIS GIRL.
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
Hippie
,
I Love Your Ass
,
Shailene Woodley
,
Weirdness
Friday, March 7, 2014
Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote
via allure's facebook page |
Pin It
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Tina Fey Is Possibly My Favorite Human, Parts I And II (And III)
Overall, when it comes to humans, I'm all, "meh." Some people are okay, but a lot are kind of not. I hinted at my love for TF yesterday, but just in case you aren't 100% convinced that she's pretty much the best, let's look at some evidence.
Part I, for your consideration...
"I didn't look like...a...person," is completely relatable to me, because this:
Many parts of my life have been spent in limbo between being a possible homo sapien, and maybe a weird troll-ish Russian fairy tale creature that favors Z Cavaricci pants, so I understand this sentiment.
Part II is comprised of she and Jimmy Fallon being completely adorable together in this lip flip bit from The Tonight Show. Funny people laughing at themselves is one of the best things, so jump on that figurative sleigh ride of joy.
If you still aren't convinced, and you have 16 minutes (you do, stop pretend being busy), watch her episode of Jerry Seinfeld's web series "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" here. She's a mf-ing delight, and her hair looks fantastic.
And because she's so opaque to the public, and never reads about herself online, I can say this without nagging fears of rejection: I love you lots, Tina Fey. Never stop being so Tina Fey-ish. That's like writing "stay sweet," in someone's middle school yearbook, but better. Your brain (I won't say body, that's creepy and presumptuous) is a wonderland.
Pin It
Part I, for your consideration...
"I didn't look like...a...person," is completely relatable to me, because this:
Many parts of my life have been spent in limbo between being a possible homo sapien, and maybe a weird troll-ish Russian fairy tale creature that favors Z Cavaricci pants, so I understand this sentiment.
Part II is comprised of she and Jimmy Fallon being completely adorable together in this lip flip bit from The Tonight Show. Funny people laughing at themselves is one of the best things, so jump on that figurative sleigh ride of joy.
If you still aren't convinced, and you have 16 minutes (you do, stop pretend being busy), watch her episode of Jerry Seinfeld's web series "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" here. She's a mf-ing delight, and her hair looks fantastic.
And because she's so opaque to the public, and never reads about herself online, I can say this without nagging fears of rejection: I love you lots, Tina Fey. Never stop being so Tina Fey-ish. That's like writing "stay sweet," in someone's middle school yearbook, but better. Your brain (I won't say body, that's creepy and presumptuous) is a wonderland.
Pin It
Labels:
Adorable
,
Celebrities
,
I Love Your Ass
,
Tina Fey
,
Video
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Getting Married
I don't know about you, but I'm all for these tabby cats marrying each other. They're both hot, they seem like they kind of hate everything, and they like wearing matching outfit. It's no Justin and Britney denim moment, but whatever.
I mean, if Ashton saw a human wearing those denim capris with a single, solitary pocket and didn't hit it and then quit it forever, then that sh*t is true love. Plus, I'm sure she's seen Dude, Where's My Car?, so she totally has a forgiving heart.
Congratu-effin-lations, you two sexy ass pieces of dry toast. (P.S. Dry toast is all you'll be able to eat for two weeks after watching that gif.)
Pin It
Labels:
Celebrities
,
Don't Be Boring
,
Love and Stuff
,
Mila Kunis
,
Whatevs
Homeboy From Felicity Is Getting Nakey To Sell Your Ass Some Towels
via people |
I'm not familiar with this brand because I buy my sh*t (linens, if you're fancy) from Target and TJ Maxx clearance sections, and I'm not about that life. So, instead, let's just focus on the semi-nakey dude times.
Okay, okay. He's cute. And that blanket's pretty dope.
My night cheese (and wine) wouldn't kick that blanket out of bed for being too luxurious.
Pin It
Labels:
A Little Hot
,
Celebrities
,
Dudes
,
Lazy Times
,
Selling Sh*t
,
TV
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Beauty Lessons I've Learned From Glam As Eff Celebrity Kids
We already know that celebrities primarily have their crap together, looks-wise. As if that doesn't wound your ego enough, how can we even feel semi-cool when so many celebrity kids are such badass mofos? Instead of just being insanely jealous of these small humans, I've gleaned some valuable lessons from their far-more-glamorous-than-mine lifestyles, and how they can enhance our boring, adult lives.
Lesson #1: Maddox Jolie-Pitt's brave ass bleached mohawk haircut reminds you to take a chance and get that gutsy cut.
If a five year old (or whatever, I'm terrible with kid ages) can get a haircut that's avant garde as sh*t, then maybe you can get more than a trim next time you hit up the Cost Cutters. Our hair can be a kind of living, growing security blanket, and changing it can take balls, but it's also an accessory that you wear every damn day so it better be pretty cool. If you feel like chopping that sh*t and matching your spirit animal Jennifer Lawrence, listen to Sara Bareilles' "Brave" on repeat three times and do it. It's just hair, IT WILL GROW BACK.
Lesson #2: Suri Cruise's constant elegance shows you CAN get your sh*t together and do a DIY mani.
Oh, who is that, Blair Waldorf? Nope, that's mf-ing Suri Cruise, who is in preschool, or some sh*t, wearing t-stap heels and a chic, floral, bubble-hemmed dress. This picture is really putting a harsh microscope on the extent of my laziness. While I find it hard to wash my hair on the reg, Suri already knows how to wear hear metallic handbag in a cross-body fashion.
I know, I know, Suri. I feel your eyes of judgement. I'll paint my toenails tomorrow.
Lesson #3: Skyler Zoe schools us on letting your beautiful curly-haired flag fly.
Hair is the world's biggest case of that annoying old tripe, "you always want what you can't have." But embracing the natural texture of your hair can be a gorgeous thing, and if you don't believe me, just ask this kid's ridiculous lovely locks. Living in these modern times (old), there are roughly 83 trillion hair products out there, so find the right combo that works for your hair and work that sh*t.
Not you, Biebs. Not you.
Lesson #4: Stafani/Rossdale kids are beacons for not being afraid to try a trend.
Listen, these kids are f*cking way, way cooler than you. Do you have a badass professor-y looking tweed vest? Are you currently wearing a bow tie with a checkered shirt? Didn't think so. But even though we are all infinitely more pedestrian than these tiny children, we can still learn from their edge and flair. Don't be afraid to wear that bold ass purple lipstick! Zuma (Zima? Zumba? Simba?) would totally encourage it. Feel like wearing some super-extreme cat eye liner? Kingston approves. He's wearing flame shoes. Trust him.
Lesson #5: Levi McConaughey needs you to chill the hell out.
I know, I know, life's a b*tch and then you die, and all that jazz. But we could definitely learn a little something from the offspring of Matty McC, and be a little more hippie and zen-like. Stress is one of the biggest things that can wreak havoc on your beauty life and your life life, so learning to deal with it will actually make you hotter. You've got to do what you have to do to decompress -- workout if it helps, drink so damn cozy time tea, read yourself a bedtime story, I don't give an eff. Figure out your deal and make yourself feel better. And maybe try walking a bandana-wearing dog, or something.
Lesson #6: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt says do you and forget everyone's opinions.
Shiloh is a down-ass little person. She's all about breaking down gender barriers and schooling b*tches on being themselves. Shiloh does and wears what she wants, and I love it. If a kid this young can be true to their style and to themselves, then the horrible adults of this earth can all do the same.
Lesson #7: Louis Bullock lives by the motto, "When in doubt, hat it out."
LLASC, you guys. (That's Louis loves a smart chapeau, if you're a lame.) Listen, there's not much better in this life than a bangin' statement accessory, and hats near the top of the list. My favorite thing about hats? They cover dirty hair, AKA irrefutable visual evidence of my laziness. But they also add style, sass, grunge, weirdness, femininity, or whatever deal you're working with to a basic bones outfit. So take a page from lil' Louis' style book and put a hat on that sh*t.
What celebrity kid do you guys love? Did I miss anyone? Blue Ivy asked me not to mention her. She said her life is none of our damn business.
Pin It
Lesson #1: Maddox Jolie-Pitt's brave ass bleached mohawk haircut reminds you to take a chance and get that gutsy cut.
If a five year old (or whatever, I'm terrible with kid ages) can get a haircut that's avant garde as sh*t, then maybe you can get more than a trim next time you hit up the Cost Cutters. Our hair can be a kind of living, growing security blanket, and changing it can take balls, but it's also an accessory that you wear every damn day so it better be pretty cool. If you feel like chopping that sh*t and matching your spirit animal Jennifer Lawrence, listen to Sara Bareilles' "Brave" on repeat three times and do it. It's just hair, IT WILL GROW BACK.
Lesson #2: Suri Cruise's constant elegance shows you CAN get your sh*t together and do a DIY mani.
Oh, who is that, Blair Waldorf? Nope, that's mf-ing Suri Cruise, who is in preschool, or some sh*t, wearing t-stap heels and a chic, floral, bubble-hemmed dress. This picture is really putting a harsh microscope on the extent of my laziness. While I find it hard to wash my hair on the reg, Suri already knows how to wear hear metallic handbag in a cross-body fashion.
I know, I know, Suri. I feel your eyes of judgement. I'll paint my toenails tomorrow.
Lesson #3: Skyler Zoe schools us on letting your beautiful curly-haired flag fly.
Hair is the world's biggest case of that annoying old tripe, "you always want what you can't have." But embracing the natural texture of your hair can be a gorgeous thing, and if you don't believe me, just ask this kid's ridiculous lovely locks. Living in these modern times (old), there are roughly 83 trillion hair products out there, so find the right combo that works for your hair and work that sh*t.
Not you, Biebs. Not you.
Lesson #4: Stafani/Rossdale kids are beacons for not being afraid to try a trend.
Listen, these kids are f*cking way, way cooler than you. Do you have a badass professor-y looking tweed vest? Are you currently wearing a bow tie with a checkered shirt? Didn't think so. But even though we are all infinitely more pedestrian than these tiny children, we can still learn from their edge and flair. Don't be afraid to wear that bold ass purple lipstick! Zuma (Zima? Zumba? Simba?) would totally encourage it. Feel like wearing some super-extreme cat eye liner? Kingston approves. He's wearing flame shoes. Trust him.
Lesson #5: Levi McConaughey needs you to chill the hell out.
I know, I know, life's a b*tch and then you die, and all that jazz. But we could definitely learn a little something from the offspring of Matty McC, and be a little more hippie and zen-like. Stress is one of the biggest things that can wreak havoc on your beauty life and your life life, so learning to deal with it will actually make you hotter. You've got to do what you have to do to decompress -- workout if it helps, drink so damn cozy time tea, read yourself a bedtime story, I don't give an eff. Figure out your deal and make yourself feel better. And maybe try walking a bandana-wearing dog, or something.
Lesson #6: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt says do you and forget everyone's opinions.
Shiloh is a down-ass little person. She's all about breaking down gender barriers and schooling b*tches on being themselves. Shiloh does and wears what she wants, and I love it. If a kid this young can be true to their style and to themselves, then the horrible adults of this earth can all do the same.
Lesson #7: Louis Bullock lives by the motto, "When in doubt, hat it out."
LLASC, you guys. (That's Louis loves a smart chapeau, if you're a lame.) Listen, there's not much better in this life than a bangin' statement accessory, and hats near the top of the list. My favorite thing about hats? They cover dirty hair, AKA irrefutable visual evidence of my laziness. But they also add style, sass, grunge, weirdness, femininity, or whatever deal you're working with to a basic bones outfit. So take a page from lil' Louis' style book and put a hat on that sh*t.
What celebrity kid do you guys love? Did I miss anyone? Blue Ivy asked me not to mention her. She said her life is none of our damn business.
Pin It
Labels:
Adorable
,
Beauty
,
Celebrities
,
Hey Jealousy
,
Hollywood
,
Ish I've Learned
,
Kids
,
Life Things
,
Rich People
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)