Sorry Beyoncé (And Tina And The Dad), Solange Is The Best Knowles

Solange and Julez NO FLEX ZONE from Charlotte Hornsby on Vimeo.

I'mma let you finish Beyoncé (no, I'm not), but Solange is the best Knowles of all time. I know that you may want to fight me on this. Or maybe you don't care. Or maybe you only know SK from that elevator shit. BUT SHE IS THE BEST.

If you don't believe me, check out this video of Solange performing a choreographed dance with her adorable son Julez at her wedding this weekend. Don't act like you aren't putting that dress on your Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus list this year.

And if that dress isn't bomb enough for you, SHE WORE MULTIPLE CAPES for her wedding festivities. Not to mention her double golden cuffs and hair perfection. Finding Yoncé in those pictures is almost like trying to find a hidden whatever in a Highlights magazine. All eyes on Solange.

Oh, and this:

I rest my case, your honor.



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Nick Carter Gets Married, Looks...Different.

pic via intouch

Apparently Nick Carter (of Backstreet Boys, you animal!) married this person yesterday. Is that what they wore to their wedding? Or was this some kind of paid-after-wedding-club-appearance? Oh, who gives a shit. We've got bigger fish to fry...Like Nicky's face happenings.

Listen, we're all getting to be old mofos. NC and I are about the same age, so I feel you, dude. But it's not even that he's looking decrepit in the mug, so much, just different. Like Ryan Seacrest and an attractive, yet hairless, cartoon wolverine had a baby.

Also, what kind of insane in the membrane bitch am I that I'm really irritated by the cake? The "Nick" should be on the black part and the "Lauren" should be on the pink, and they should be standing on their respective sides. GET YOUR DAMN LIVES TOGETHER. Unless...it shouldn't? I fancy myself a progressive person. Do whatever, Backstreet Boys alums. I can't be bothered.



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Quick Sh*t: Today's My Anniversary, So Here's a Video Clip From My Wedding

Just kidding, we had way less fun than this.

via reddit


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BREAKING NEWS: K Fed Gets Married, Doesn't Look Bad

pic via people mag

You guys might've heard that Kevin Federline married his tall girlfriend over the weekend. (Somewhere, Shar Jackson is PISSED.) All of that is fine and good, I mean he also had a kid with Tally Talls (street name Victoria Prince, which is total 1996 Penthouse Pet name, and I mean that as a sincere complement), so "yay!" for due diligence, or something. But here's the meat and potatoes of the matter -- K FED IS LOOKING AIIIGHT.

pic via people mag

Yes, his hair is very 90's Thom Yorke.

But, considering star-shaped cornrows have been a viable hairstyle choice of his in the past, dude looks good.

Stars are for Lucky Charms, not hair shapes.

And there's a 0% chance of over-sized t-shirts in that b*tch, too, so I'm effing really happy.

But, I am disappointed to not see one of these klassy azz garter/mini dress pictures in the new Federline wedding photo album. (I'm lying. This sh*t was gross and unnecessary for all human and animal eyeballs.)

Bottom line, K Fed is making me feel like he's borderline hot here, with minimal white trash vibe. UPGRADE!

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It's Time for a Big Ol' Britney Spears Wedding, Y'all!

So by now we all know that my little Brit Brit just got engaged to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick. I'm so excited! I feel like Sam Merlotte's twin is a good influence on her, and she seems like she's really getting her sh*t together. In honor of her upcoming nuptials, I have decided to throw a sister a bone and help her start on her wedding planning.

As you know, Britney is a little bit country so I though she might want to sport something that reflects that on her big day. Here are my selections.

Yee haw, right? Well maybe she wants to tone it down a notch, since it is TECHNICALLY her third marriage. So maybe something a little more mature and demure would be more appropriate. No worries, I have that angle covered as well!

I mean the last one even has gloves! Just like when she married K Fed! Speaking of that wedding, maybe Britney wants something a little more like she wore for her reception last time, which was a little more...Like this:

That's miiiightly close to hoo-ha ville. Don't worry, Brit! I have some more 'revealing' dresses picked for you, too.

Too bad this one is already taken. Such understated elegance! Don't worry, I found some other winners.

Surely we have a winner here! One of them even looks like that bedazzled bodysuit homegirl wore back in the day.

I also found a couple more finishing details for Britney's wedding. We know she loves her Starbuck's frapps, so how perfect is this?

Done! How about wedding photos? Brit Brit loves Cheetos, so I found a way to incorporate that.

Perfect! All the hard work is done, y'all! You are welcome, Britney. You are welcome. Pin It

I Hope No One Needs Any Rhinestones for the Next Year, Because Every Michael's in the Country is Sold Out.

RHWoA's Kim Zolciak got married to her cub/baby daddy this weekend, and here is her first released wedding photo from Life & Style. I can't wait to see more pictures of this mess. There is A LOT happening on this dress, and that is quite a headpiece. Kim is so understated and classic in her taste! I think that she possibly sprayed herself with glue and rolled in glitter. Just a guess...And you know she thinks she looks like Grace Kelly or some koo koo craziness.

P.S. I still need to see this b's birth certificate. I can't believe she's only a couple years older than me. Pin It