Baby Bieber Sent Himself To Time-Out, Is Now Sorry

Post by Justin Bieber.

Did Biebs make this video after a good nap and tum tum full of Koala Yummies™, or something? Because he is pretty, pretty emo over being such a bad b for the past year or so, and wants you to know that that isn't the real him. He was just playing it up for a role on a "ripped from the headlines" version of Law & Order: SVU where toddlers throw tantrums for a year, maybe. I don't know his life.

So, all we know about the real and mysterious Mr. Bieber (old sport) is that he cares about people and emphatically uses the f-word. Totes kewl.

Play on, Sir Biebs, play on. I guess. I can't really be bothered right now.

I'll be back when I'm feeling more spirited. Until next time.



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True Blood Musings: Down With The Sickness

I have to be honest. I have no MF-ing clue what happened last season, because I'm a serious old and watch way too much TV, but apparently we ended on an insane note.

Everyone is SUPER stabby and filled with Hep V, I guess. Okay, here comes the break so we don't spoil, so click through for to talk about the beginning of the end of this hot ass mess.


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Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Getting Married

Mila was spotted shopping or doing some other inane activity earlier today, and paps caught that b ring-handed. Get it? I know, that was disgustingly pun-y. Homegirl was wearing an engagement ring, so clearly she and the Kutch are getting all legal and boring together. (Go on over to E! if you feel like checking out what her ring is all about.)

I don't know about you, but I'm all for these tabby cats marrying each other. They're both hot, they seem like they kind of hate everything, and they like wearing matching outfit. It's no Justin and Britney denim moment, but whatever.

I mean, if Ashton saw a human wearing those denim capris with a single, solitary pocket and didn't hit it and then quit it forever, then that sh*t is true love. Plus, I'm sure she's seen Dude, Where's My Car?, so she totally has a forgiving heart.

Congratu-effin-lations, you two sexy ass pieces of dry toast. (P.S. Dry toast is all you'll be able to eat for two weeks after watching that gif.)



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Miley Cyrus has an Intolerance to Gluten, Human-Sized Shorts

Pic via Huffington Post

Unwad your panties, no-pants police. Miley is just wearing short shorts, like any 19 year old (or however old she is) girl. And she's probably wearing her fiance's shirt, which brings more "Awwww, how sweet!" feelings than this does:

(No, it totally doesn't.)

But I will say, that suitcase it hot. And you can give it to me whenever you wish to, Mi Cy.



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