(Hot) GUUUUUURL Of The Day: Alexander Skarsgård In Drag

Who's that hot blonde? Alexander Skarsgård serving up Drag Race realness. He redefines the phrase "golden girl!" pic.twitter.com/hko3nwGcU4

— James Patrick Herman (@TheGlamourGuy) August 4, 2015

If you've ever lain awake nights thinking, "I wonder if that sexy-ass Alexander Skarsgård would make a gorgeous, 6'4" lady?" here's your answer: It's a clear and resounding, "YES, BITCH." Now you can sit back, relax, pour yourself a tall, frosted glass of Goldschlager and swallow that mofo whole. (I'm not sure that entire euphemism worked even a little, but you get it. At least kind of.)

Alexander kept it grown and sexy last night at the premiere of his lastest movie, The Diary of a Teenage Girl, which took place at the Castro Theater in San Francisco, and included a pre-movie drag show. If I have learned anything today, it's that I am not living my best life. I'm living, like, my seventh best life.

Alexander Skarsgård looking fabulous at the premiere of 'The Diary of a Teenage Girl' this week. pic.twitter.com/qulJ0HSRgz

— The Film Stage (@TheFilmStage) August 4, 2015

And if you think that just because such a giant man chose such an disproportionately tiny clutch to carry, or that because he looks 573% more eleganza in a floor-length, sequined dress than I ever could, would dull my attraction to this beautiful, Swedish meatless meatball, YOU ARE DEAD MF-ING WRONG. (Also, if you think that last sentence was the most awkwardly-worded thing you've ever read, you are dead right. Welcome.)

I will firmly keep AS(s) in the "will do" column, semi-sad wig ends be damned.

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True Blood Musings: All Blah-ed Out Over You

We open on a LA kara-tay dojo, apparently.

Okay, not really. It was a yoga place with this short-shorted homeboy leading a bunch of peeps through what seems like a pretty obnoxious vinyasa flow.

Wait. But why? Is this dude Jason in disguise? Did LaLa hit up the West Coast, after being inspired by the Lana Del Rey song, and take up downward dogs?

Let's discuss after the jump.

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True Blood Musings: Bored To Death

Here we are. Another week, another TB episode down in the FINAL COUNTDOWN.

This week we open on an Eric/Jason vignette, that I won't immediately spoil, so jump and we'll talk about this scene and all the trimmings. Meet you at the crossroads.

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True Blood Musings: Down With The Sickness

I have to be honest. I have no MF-ing clue what happened last season, because I'm a serious old and watch way too much TV, but apparently we ended on an insane note.

Everyone is SUPER stabby and filled with Hep V, I guess. Okay, here comes the break so we don't spoil, so click through for to talk about the beginning of the end of this hot ass mess.


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Quick Sh*t: Alexander Skarsgard Gets Sexy On a Snow Toilet

via instagram

Sexy ass Skarsgard is in the North Pole, and he's fake pooping on a toilet. I don't know the what/why's about this picture, and I really don't give an eff. Let's just enjoy this moment.

Wait. He's on a toilet, is this even hot? I'm going to go with yes, yes, it is.




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True Blood Musings: Low-Hanging Fruit

For most of this episode, I felt like this:

BECAUSE IT WAS THE FINALE, MUTHAF*CKAS. (And I'm used to being boozy. And bougie.) Let's talk about it after the damn jump.


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True Blood Musings: One Flew Over the Vampire's Nest

Happy Wedding day? Funeral day? I don't know what the f*ck is happening. Let's all find out together after the jump.


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True Blood Musings: Vampire Brides

It's 'bout to be a GIRL FIGHT! This week, Blah-ll continues to annoy and bore the masses. Let's talk about how much we hate his ass after the jump.

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True Blood Musings: I Get So Emotional, Baby

Is there anything better than when Eric gets all maternal and sh*t?



Let's break it all down to vampire town after the jump.

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True Blood Musings: It's About to Be War

Last time we saw Sookie, she looked like this. WHAT HAPPENED??? DID SHE PASS ON FOREVA AND EVA???

Jump, and we'll talk about this mess.


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True Blood Musings: Errrybody's Effed

You guys know how I felt about the first few episodes of TB this season.

Luckily, it HAS gotten better. Now I'm a little more like this.

I won't spoil it for you peeps that haven't watched, but serious ish-nay went on this week. Jump with me, and let's talk about it.


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True Blood Musings: Gotcha, B*tch!

Well, things are FINALLY starting to get good in this b*tch. And this episode was full of these kind of moments:



Let's jump so we can talk deets and not upset those late to class h's that haven't watched yet.

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True Blood Musings: I'm Still Here

Here's how it's been feeling lately when it comes to True Blood.

We're all still here, so let's just get this over with. Jump with me, and let's talk about how this week's epi sucked a little less hard.

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True Blood Musings: Everything's Boring

We start the episode with getting our 50th glimpse of Warlow.

He seems super attractive and nice. Just let yourself be promised to his ass, Sook.

Can we just get on with this? Let's jump and see what happened this week.


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True Blood Musings: I Wanna Do Blob Things to You

Well mofos, here we are again. Another season of True Blood kicked off last night, so that means my musing are back. And let me tell you, it really started out with a meh...

Dammit, can't Bill just stay a blob of goo on the ground? His looks would finally match his personality. Where's a vat of Goo Gone when you need one?

We're going to delve into all of the episode, so duh, spoilers ahead. If you're all watched up, and ready to talk about it, follow me after the jump.


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No Doy of the Day: Joe Manganiello is Hot and Muscle-y

Have you mofos noticed an upswing in my True Blood-related posting? I'm gearing up for that sh*t, because, once again, I'll be doing my (totally not) infamous TB recaps. And in that vein (heh), here's Joe Manganiello (whose name I have to google EVERY EFFING TIME for spelling), from the UK edition of Men's Health. Apparently, America is not ready for that jelly.

Well, maybe we aren't. Let's look some more, just for science, and stuff.

Errrm, nope. Not ready.

It certainly is, sir. 'Merica.



JM pics via NY Daily News Pin It

Quick Sh*t: This Picture Just Made My Life

via r simms facebook

I love this picture so much that I can't even handle it. We've got my fashion idol, Richard Simmons, Sookie, and stupid-faced Bill all in one picture. My heart wants to explode with love and disdain. Richard's life has totally been made by this ish for some reason -- look at his face. And Sookie and Bill are looking smug as eff; like they can't wait to laugh about this mess on the ride back to their vampire mansion. Rude. But I think that Richie got mixed up on the premiere date for that HBO Liberace movie and made that hot ass vest from his guest bedroom duvet on the fly. Or like he's taken a part time job as a wedding dress consultant, in hopes that he can be on next season's Say Yes to the Dress. (Don't listen to me. I'm just jealous that I didn't think of those ideas.)

I can die happy (Heh, right.) now. Okay, bye.





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In Case You Were Wondering, Alexander Skarsgard is Still a Hot B*tch

Ali Cat was at a Lakers game, or some boring sports-related ish, last night. And you can rest your damn weary, downtrodden mind (and eyeballs) because A Skar Skar is still hot as eff.

Why so serious, boo? Psshaw, like I a give a damn. Your broody, cold demeanor is half the reason I love your ass.

He's drinking beer (So American!) with a European football shirt on (So Exotic!) with his legs firmly crossed (So European!). But furrreal, why don't American dudes cross their legs like this? 'Merica.

And let's just pretend that this is some kind of sexual reenactment of some sort. A b can dream, right? Keep that hot flowing, Xander. Keep that sh*t up. Only three months until True Blood, and I can straight stalk your ass.

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True Blood Musings: C'EST FINI!

Oh, there's my other boo. Where've you been, you hot Nordic piece? This is the end, kittens. Let's do this.

JUMP!

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True Blood Musings: Blah, Blah, Blah.

I don't really know what my deal is lately with True Blood. I just feel a whole big ass "No Comment." about it. So this week, I just took pictures of random ish that seemed to interest me. Sorry. How you realized I'm s*tty about everything yet? Get with the program.

JUMP to see this week's True Blood in pictures.

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