Get Ready To Save All Of Your Vegan Tears In A Decorative Mason Jar: Jared Leto Cut Off His Magical Hair And Beard

Tweets by @DavidAyerMovies

Drown you sorrows in all of the world's cold quinoa and kale salads -- Jesus Leto is no more. Jared cut off all of his hotness for a role in something called Suicide Squad, which is apparently a movie based on a comic. And homie is playing the Joker.

Don't get me wrong, Jared Leto is hot no matter what. He could put a rancid octopus on his head and still be sexual AF. But I like my Leto one of two ways: Catalano or scruffed up.

What do you think? Are you into this sleek shit? Tell me all of your feelings on everything.







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BREAKING NEWS: Hot B's Look Hot.

Hey mofos, sorry I've been sh*ttier than reg lately, but I've been busy and crap. I know, I know. Having a job and stuff is such a c-block for sh*t talking. While I've been gone, people have been looking real, real foiiine.

via brit brit's twitter

Look at my homegirl, looking all good for her new music video. DON'T YOU DARE SAY OTHERWISE, BECAUSE I LOVE HER ASS FOREVER EVER.

I haven't seen Mila Kunis in what feel like forever (except tragically wearing jean capri pants and sneakers), but don't worry,she's still hot.

via huffpo

 I know, shocking. What a b.

Also looking annoyingly hot is ol' Scarlett Johansson.

via huffpo

B*tch is straight glowing, maybe because she just got engaged and she's getting that straight good good.

Or she has a good skin care regimen. I don't don't her life like that.

via daily mail

And finally, in the old(er) school male model category, Tyson Beckford was traipsing around topless as hell in NYC the other day. My ass does not mind. DUDE IS 42, YOU GUYS. Work that sh*t.

Stay tuned tomorrow, because I have a super serious Bieber issue that all of our eyeballs need to deal with.




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(Not So) Breaking News: Donnie Wahlberg Turns Out to Be "The Hot One"

Okay, so I meant to post this sh*t a bunch of days ago, but blah, blah, blah, who cares.

via Donnie Dub's Twitter

I was always a Jordan girl back in the day, but my ass sure isn't afraid to switch teams, because Donnie Dubs is looking real fooooine.

These Wahlberg dudes know know to get that booty work right, don't they?

 

Nice...watch, Mark. I'm pretty sure that this is the hottest elastic-waisted tan shorts can look.

Congratulations on your hotness, Wahlbergs.




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I Can't Wait to See This Sh*t: American Hustle Trailer

So, this movie is the reason that the balls of our eyes were treated to Bradley Cooper looking like this. It's also why we saw Christian Bale looking like a true beautiful vision, here:

Calm your nethers, ladies, that ascot is not real life. Plus, there's a lot more sexual glamor where this came from, because American Hustle takes place in the polyester playground of the 70's. Let's watch.



The awkwardness of Amy Adams of doing that ass shake walk ALONE is reason enough to want to watch this sh*t. Not to mention my girl J Law is looking like a disco-y, slutty, earring model. AND Bradley Cooper has been permed within and effin' inch of his life. SOLD.

Are you guys into this? Or am I the lone wolf watching the sex storm?



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Quick Sh*t Hits

Hey guys, I've been a little distant lately. I've been in a deep, deep Game of Thrones hole, but, sadly, that's over for a year. Since I've been gone, here's what happening.

Henry Cavill has a perfect face and can "Look, Ma, no hands," the eff outta bicycle.



I've had a thing for homeboy since The Tudors, and he sure hasn't gotten any uglier.

Also, Biebs is going to space.

 

If this is the first impressions aliens get of Earthlings, we're all f*cked.

And this happened, too.

via twitter

Listen, Juno, I like your ass, but you can't have my Skar-y.

Lastly, this exists. Goodnight, cruel world.


What's been going on with your asses? And what TV dramzzzz shall I be sucked into next? TALK TO ME.


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No Doy of the Day: Joe Manganiello is Hot and Muscle-y

Have you mofos noticed an upswing in my True Blood-related posting? I'm gearing up for that sh*t, because, once again, I'll be doing my (totally not) infamous TB recaps. And in that vein (heh), here's Joe Manganiello (whose name I have to google EVERY EFFING TIME for spelling), from the UK edition of Men's Health. Apparently, America is not ready for that jelly.

Well, maybe we aren't. Let's look some more, just for science, and stuff.

Errrm, nope. Not ready.

It certainly is, sir. 'Merica.



JM pics via NY Daily News Pin It

BREAKING NEWS: Prince Harry Visits America, Looks Hot.

I've never been one of those hoes that's like, "I LOVE REDHEADS. THEIR GINGERY-NESS IS SOOO SEXY." Actually, my mom is one of those people, and therefore, gross. But I will say that I have, on occasion, thought that ginger dudes are sexy and sh*t. And Prince Harry is a fine ginger specimen, especially considering that I always thought that William would be the hot b*tch. Well, color my ass wrong. PH has been visiting 'Merica the past few days, so here's my virtual Princely ginger stalking round up.

"Round of applause if you like my bangs, guys. And thanks, England, for sending the hot one."

Even this lady business looking curtain is into it.

"America, please calm your ovaries." -PH "We can't." -America

Just how exactly does one apply to be in the British military? I'm asking for a friend.

Doing hot English sh*t. But the horse's tail looks like a Hell's Angel dude's ponytail.

"So then, I says to him...I says, 'If you delete Basketball Wives ONE MORE TIME from the DVR'..."

B's waiting to try to get down on sexy cinnamon spice PH. Homegirl in the sneaks ain't playin'

Bye, Price Harry. Come on back any time, now, ya'hear?

U.S.A.! U.S.A! I'm not packing my bags for England right now, like, at all. (England! England!)


PH pics via USA Today

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You Dirty Beach: How to Look Like a Sexy Beach Nymph

I just have to buck up and admit that it's pretty much summer. Which kind of sucks, because it's hot as sh*t, and the air in my car doesn't really work, and this is all just leading to a butt load of grossities. But there is one thing that's Summery that I'm actually into. I really love the whole boho-y, slightly dirty, beachy look (even thought I hate the beach), and it's an easy, super sexy summer look.

Tousled Hair and Sh*t

I feel like I (and pretty much every effin' other b with a keyboard) have talked about beachy waves until all of our reading eyeballs have bled and our hair has rejected surf spray. BUT there's a reason why no one will shut the hell up about it -- it's hot. I am of the type that blow dries my hair, waves it out with a curling wand or flat iron, and sprays with surf spray to look like I slept on a sexy beach the night before. Some of you may be able to get away with spritzing your damp hair with surf spray and letting it air dry, and end up looking amazing. I call people like you b*tches. (Jealousy is a helluva thing.) Or if you are feeling low maintenance, throw your hair into a messy side braid and call it a damn hair day.

Bronzed Goddess Makeup

make up for ever aqua shadow in 22e pearly copper, $20 at sephora

I have a few different colors of this MUFE Aqua Shadow that they sent me a long time ago, but this shade one is one of my favorites, and works perfectly for this look. This is one of the easiest beauty products in the history of time (which you know my lazy ass loves), because you literally draw on your eye, blend, and get the eff out. And if you're crazy, unsexy, oily like myself, it works really well as a base for a powder shadow. It's great blended under the eye, too, to really amp up the sexy beach nymph deal. Add some black, smudgy eyeliner to your upper lash line, and you have found yourself a sexy b*tch.

Glow That Azz B and Let Me See What You've Got

moroccanoil shimmering body oil, $45

To complete the complete beach beyotch transformation, you've got to glow up that bod like J Lo's employees are instructed to do. The MoroccanOil people sent me this Shimmering Body Oil to try, and just like all of their other products, this ish is guuuurd. It doesn't look like you got Ke$ha glitter bombed when you use it.

sorry, brit brit, yeahhhnoooo

It's more of a glimmery glow. I made my cousin use it on her wedding day on her chest and arms, and she loved the crap out of it. Watch your ass, Alba's of the world -- we're coming for your ass.

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Definitive Proof That Beards and Boyz II Men Make Dudes 100% Hotter

Skip to 7:10 for the good good.



I've always thought that John Krasinski (AKA Jim from The Office) was moderately hot. Like hottest guy you saw at the grocery store today hot, but not necessarily John Hamm/Alexander Skarsgard/face made of rugged angel Pegasus wings hot. That is UNTIL TODAY. Here he is on Jimmy Fallon's show lip syncing "I'll Make Love to You." (If you must.) That beard is KILLIN' IT for homeboy's face. I'm buying whatever you're selling here, Krasinski. I'll take a million of each.

Yes.

All of this.





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Quick Sh*t: I Told You B's That Walt Jr. is Hot

Today is my day of creeper vindication, mofos. I present to you (via Walt Jr.'s twitter -- or RJ Mitte, whatever) the hottest breakfast lover, except for Ron Swanson. Natch.

So suck it, America. (Gross. Not literally.) FLYNN 4 EVA.

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I Can't Stop Staring at Jon Hamm and All of His Dude Business.

Have you guys seen the new promo pictures for Mad Men Season 6? Those are some hot ass mofos, right? And in anticipation of the upcoming MM premiere next month, I have compiled a photo collection of the sexiest b in the group -- Jon Hamm. (Freakin' doy.) So let's explore why Hammy is so damn hot.

He's got a bangin' ass beard.

I mean, come the hell on.

He has a cute dog, whose face is adorably tiny for his body.

He has sexual corrective lenses.

Are you fuh-real with that smile? That crap could rip ladies' pant off.

He likes to keep that ish cas. (Stop trying to make cas happen.)

I'm not into the ciggie, but I'm totally into breakfast. Like, anytime.

Homeboy knows...

How to wear...

A friggin' pair of pants.

And really, is there ANYONE hotter than Don Draper???

(KIND OF) NSFW UPDATE: This is why I love my people. (Name withheld for embarrassment purposes.)

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