Quick Sh*t: The Most Riveting Movie Scene, Ever.

Don't ask me one detail about this fantastic scene, because I don't know a damn thing about it. Except that it is mf-ing magnificent. And that dude that leaves the room at the beginning has the loudest footsteps in the universe. I really wish that bifocals had divulged why he needed said cash flow, but alas, he was super evasive. Oh well, just sit back and enjoy this production. And then watch it again.

I have to go because I need to say, "Bloody!" to people and hang up on their asses immediately. Also, "yes, I'm not," is the best non-committal answer I've ever encountered. Yes, I'm not seeing you guys tomorrow.






Pin It

Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

via allure

This week for Allure, I delved into the scariest beauty sh*t that you should try. Check it out here.


  Pin It

Low Maintenance Chicks Rejoice: The Entire Universe's Best Lip Balms

I told you guys a while back about my crack-like addiction to lip balms, and my new favorite one from me & the girls. So I decided to compile a list of my all time favorite lip jams, because these sh*ts are the good good AND the cheap cheap, and you can't beat that mf-ing combo.

My first pick is my b*tch because it gives a touch o' color to your lippies.

Burt's Bees Replenishing Lip Balm with Pomegranate Oil, $3

I like a lot of Burt's Bees products, but this is one of my top b's. It provides just a pinch of pink to your lips, and is nice and moisturizing. Win-sies!

Evolution of Smooth Smooth Sphere Lip Balm in Honeysuckle Honeydew, $3.29

 This little boo berry is one of my faves based mostly on smell/taste. But I also love the weird case deal and it feels like a dream on your lips.

The Fresh Market 100% All Natural Lip Balm in Peppermint, $???

This last one is kind of a tricky (tricky, tricky, tricky) situation. I bought this at Fresh Market on a whim one night, and I f*cking fell in love with this shit. It's minty, which I love, and feels pretty much the best out of any lip balm deal out there.

But, here's the bad part -- I can't find any trace of it online. I'm guessing you can only buy it at the actual Fresh Market grocery stores, and they aren't exactly on every corner. So, what I'm saying is, I'm kind of a huge b*tch for even telling you about this, because it might not be easily obtainable.

Hmmm. Sorry 'bout that.

Tell me things. Do you guys have some lip chap you love to pieces?

 

Pin It

True Blood Musings: Everything's Boring

We start the episode with getting our 50th glimpse of Warlow.

He seems super attractive and nice. Just let yourself be promised to his ass, Sook.

Can we just get on with this? Let's jump and see what happened this week.


Pin It

I Accidentally Made a New Mascara My B*tch -- an Unintentional Review by Shannon Ray.

I usually stay pretty tried and true to my main mascara b, L'Oreal Voluminous, with dalliances with some other sh*t on occasion. But I ran out of my Voluminous a while back, bought another drugstore brand, hated it, then had to raid my stash of makeup that I've accumulated throughout my beauty blogger times. That's when I came upon this little mamacita. 

KORRES Volcanic Minerals Volumizing Mascara (Sephora, $20)

I've used KORRES products before, and I liked them, but this goes beyond. The first day I used it, I was all, "Damn dog, my lashes look pretty banging right now." Then everyone at work that day was saying how great my lashes looked.

The formula is really volumizing, and it lasts so long that I actually thought it was a waterproof mascara until I googled it. (I threw out the box like a true professional, so I didn't even know the name of this sh*t. I know. I have no idea why I'm not really successful.) Here's the science-y blah blah's from Sephora:

This Obsidian black is formulated with volcanic minerals for the deepest, darkest color and an explosive increase in lash volume. These rich pigments blend with natural film formers to create a flexible yet strong coating that covers every lash. Volcanic Minerals Volumizing Mascara provides a glossy, luminous finish with a flexible conditioned feel, without any smudging or flakes for optimal, long-wearing benefits. The tapered brush head with unique cross-hatch bristles ensures smooth, clump-free application that grabs even the tiniest microlashes.

I don't know much about all of that, but I do know that I love this mess. Like, a lot. 

This is excited as I get about anything.

 Check it out here for yourself here.



Pin It

This Is Why We Can't Have Annoying Things...

Because it creates other, even more annoying, things.



"It's smells like my baseball cleats. EWWWWW!" Oh, hell to the naw. The original version of this song is already moderately irritating, but this sh*t is ridiculous. I don't have kids, and nonsense like this is why I've sealed up my uterus.

Parents, please don't buy this. It's friggin' dumb, you guys. For future Earthlings (are easy), or whatever, I beg of you.



This was my jam when I was a kid, and look how wonderfully I turned out.

Case not closed.




Pin It

Quick Sh*t: The Best Workout Video, Ever. (No, Not Prancercise.)

I'm kind of obsessed with everything about this video. The dude is one hundred percent a reanimated corpse, and Sandy Duncan's 'fit is KILLING IT. That top looks like it belongs on a child in the casual wear portion of a beauty pageant.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Pin It