Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Getting Married

Mila was spotted shopping or doing some other inane activity earlier today, and paps caught that b ring-handed. Get it? I know, that was disgustingly pun-y. Homegirl was wearing an engagement ring, so clearly she and the Kutch are getting all legal and boring together. (Go on over to E! if you feel like checking out what her ring is all about.)

I don't know about you, but I'm all for these tabby cats marrying each other. They're both hot, they seem like they kind of hate everything, and they like wearing matching outfit. It's no Justin and Britney denim moment, but whatever.

I mean, if Ashton saw a human wearing those denim capris with a single, solitary pocket and didn't hit it and then quit it forever, then that sh*t is true love. Plus, I'm sure she's seen Dude, Where's My Car?, so she totally has a forgiving heart.

Congratu-effin-lations, you two sexy ass pieces of dry toast. (P.S. Dry toast is all you'll be able to eat for two weeks after watching that gif.)



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Homeboy From Felicity Is Getting Nakey To Sell Your Ass Some Towels

via people

Remember Scott Foley? I know him from Felicity, with a dash of True Blood and a side of Jen Garner, but he's also apparently on Scandal, which I have never seen. (I know, I know, I'm a gigantor a-hole for not watching it. I'M TOO BUSY WATCHING HORRIBLE REALITY TV. I HAVE PRIORITIES.) However you know his ass, Scott's latest gig is schilling towels and sheets to, I'm assuming, mofos that are into topless guys, with a company called Charisma. (Please let Charisma Carpenter own this company.)

I'm not familiar with this brand because I buy my sh*t (linens, if you're fancy) from Target and TJ Maxx clearance sections, and I'm not about that life. So, instead, let's just focus on the semi-nakey dude times.



Okay, okay. He's cute. And that blanket's pretty dope.

My night cheese (and wine) wouldn't kick that blanket out of bed for being too luxurious.



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The Greatest Moments Of Judgement In The Downton Abbey Finale

The finale of "Downton Abbey" was this week, and overall it was pretty damn adorable and full of feel goods. But don't be fooled, there were still a ton of judgey-faced moments to relish. Let's re-live them all together after the jump.

(Obvs, some light spoilers ahead if you haven't watched.)


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BEAUTY EMERGENCY: Desert Time, And The Livin' Ain't Easy

I came to a sudden realization the other day: I legit live in the desert. I was riding ATVs with my family, who were visiting, and as I was sitting there, covered in effin' dust from head to toe, it hit me like a ton of cacti. I LIVE IN A DESERT, FOR REAL. For real, for real.

I didn't really think that my (beauty) life would be that different coming to Arizona from Florida. I mean they're both hot, right? What a damn fool. I've had to switch up my beauty game A LOT to make up for this desert-dwelling life that I'm currently living. If you're a denizen of the badlands (or just need to get your hydration station on) keep reading, and we'll make it through this madness together.

Drop It Like It's Hot (BECAUSE IT IS)

"MYYYY EYEZZZ," is typically how my balls (eye type) feel when I'm just existing in this crazy, low-humidity mecca. So eye drops are a mega mf-ing factor in my current beauty routine. And, of course, my high maintenance ass can't just have some run-of-the mill eye drops for basic b*tches. I like a little something that burns a bit, like getting slapped in the eyeballs by a miniature telenovela star wearing black satin elbow-length gloves. But, you know, still gets the red out.

That's where cooling eye drops come in. I've always liked Rhoto Cool Eye Drops for my eyeball burning and brightening needs, but after going to four stores searching for them and coming up empty-handed, I googled and found out that they have been temporarily recalled. So I found the next best thing in Clear eyes Cooling Comfort Redness Relief, which I found to be essentially the same. They burn like hell, and it feels so good.

Moisturize Every-damn-thang

Oh, hey, have I mentioned it's dry in this b*tch? I have hordes of ulta-moisturizing prods that I've accumulated over the years, but I've never really had much use for them, due to my horrible oily skin. But guess what? How the tables have turned...Not only am I still dealing with my glorious adult acne, but I've also started getting flaky, dry skin. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?

So to cope with this latest turn of event, I've found an arsenal of products to keep my mug lubed to the max. (Gross.) For my nightly moisturizing needs, I am really enjoying the deep moisturizing benefits of CLINIQUE Moisture Surge Intense For Very Dry To Dry Combination Skin. It's oil-free and kind of like a gel-type texture, so I don't feel like I've been pied in the face with a heavy cream pie after applying it.

I really need to use a heavier eye cream here, too, and I'm into RoC Multi-Correxion Lift Anti-Gravity Night Cream for that. It supposedly "lifts" your eye area, which I don't know about all of that sorcery, but it's really moisturizing and soaks in nicely. I don't feel like the foot of a crow has firmly imprinted itself upon my eyes, so, so far it's aces.

When it comes to that easier-to-dry-out-than-beef-jerky-in-a-food-dehydrator lip area, I'm full-on obsessed with Korres Lip Butter in Guava. It's straight heavenly, yo. It's buttery (duh), tastes really good, and it doesn't feel oily or weird. Pretty much, it makes me feel like I have rich lady lips.

Put a Tan (and Some SPF) On It

I'm mos def an indoor cat, which leads to my pallid skin tone and dire need for sunless tanner-tinged lotions. Also, the sun is strong and bright as a mofo here, so daily SPF is a must for when I'm walking to the mailbox, or something. This Jergens Natural Glow & Protect Daily Moisturizer with SPF 20 covers all of those necessary bases, and is easy as sh*t to use -- you just slap it on like your garden variety bod lotion and keep it moving to twitter stalking people, or whatever your daily life entails.

Nude-y Show Nails

I'm pretty much living in a big ass dusty ass dust bowl, and that does NOT bode well in the mani department. Goth nails in shades of black and deep burgundy (my go-to favorites) will be covered in dust in, like, 3.47 seconds, so picking a nude-ish shades like Deborah Lippmann's Human Nature or Floss Gloss' Tanlines is a boss b*tch decision. Plus, you'll have total mannequin hands. Everyone wins.

Disclaimer: Some of these items were given to me as press samples, and some were purchased by my broke ass. Pin It

TGIF! Who Wants To Sing Sensually With Someone Named 'Keyboard Cathy' About Sashimi?

Oh, man. You know it's going to be great music video experience when that little artist/title thingy doesn't leave the corner of the screen for well over a minute. You really know that things are headed to Perfection-ville, population Cathy, when she removes her sunglasses apparatus from her sensible Lens Crafters creations. Those were NOT from the $99 wall, I can almost guarantee.

But then things start taking an odd turn for me. When KC goes on about "tasting adventure," sh*t got weird. Keyboard Cathy clearly very feels VERY sensual feelings about sashimi, you guys. Wait. Is this really just a bowl-cutted video full of sexual innuendo? By the eyebrows at the 2:41 mark, I don't really think that it could be anything else. OH MY GOD, AT 3:35 IT'S ALL JUST TOO MUCH. Is Key Key possibly talking about try her OTHER bowl cut? And is it...is it...pierced?

Well, I probably just ruined your weekend, your life, and any chance in hell of you going to a sushi restaurant again, so also the sushi industry as a whole. My work here is done.


via reddit


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Our Fake Best Friend Kristen Wiig Pretends To Be Harry Styles On "The Tonight Show," Is Predictably Adorable.

Kristen Wiig was on the new Jimmy Fallon's "Tonight Show" the other night, and she pretended to be One Direction's (1 Direction's? I'm too old for this sh*t) Harry Styles for the duration of her interview. And it seems like Kristen knows about as much as I do about Harry, AKA the human person under this hair:

Pretty much nothing, except that his shoes are comical. But she's definitely right on about one thing -- carnitas are amazing.

If you missed K Dubs as Michael Jordan when she was on Jimmy's show a few months ago, do yourself a damn solid and watch it here.



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I Report, You Decide: Is Robert Pattinson A Dark-Haired Beauty?

pic via us weekly

I've never really been a part of that whole oh-my-god-r-patts-is-so-hot-vampires-vampires-vampires bandwagon. I'm more of the he's-okay-and-stuff camp. I kind of thought that his name was Robert Patterson for, like, three years. B*tches be gettin' old, man.

But here's Patty cakes on the set of some movie (I can't be bothered) with some fresh dark hairs, and I'm not really sure how I feel about him all of a sudden.

He's kind of giving me a darker, hotter vibe, but maybe I'm just falling for the douche smug he's got wiped all over his face in this picture. My ovaries can occasionally get temporarily bewitched due to smugness, so I can't really be sure.

Help me figure it out. Is Robbie looking hot, or am I being straight up delusional right now?

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