Showing posts with label Adorable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adorable. Show all posts

Monday, July 20, 2015

GUUUUUURL Of The Day: Ben Affleck's Beautiful Puppy, Who Doesn't Have Time For You

Have you heard the very, very important news that the Affleck family has a relatively new puppy? I don't know why you wouldn't already have this information, as it should be the hearth of your brain knowledge, but maybe you've been busy doing open heart surgeries for a living and haven't heard.

This unnamed fluffy bundle is undoubtedly adorable, but also clearly doesn't have time for your shit, or walking. He or she must be a fan of the Arianna Grande mode of transportation, which is understandable. Walking is for boring plebs.

Here are some other things this puppy doesn't have time for:

  • Ben Affleck's (possibly/seemingly) ungrateful attitude about having such an adorable treasure. 
  •  Ben's flippy wave bangs.

  •  To pick up some Salon Selectives from Target. She'll just get some later on Amazon Prime.

  • To keep caring about the second season of True Detective. "But, really, is that Rose from Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead?" she keeps thinking. It's tedious on a puppy brain.

Keep doing you, fluffy baby. Don't let 'Fleck dull your shine. Or make your paws touch the ground.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Woman Crush Wednesday: Britney Spears, Forever Ever

I'm not going to pretend that this "Woman Crush Wednesday" thing is going to be a weekly deal, because let's be real -- I suck at consistency, and I also got a hybrid emotional reaction of bored and annoyed when I typed the phrase "Woman Crush Wednesday." So, let's just see how this goes.

I really just wanted to highlight some of the favorite times that my eyeballs have ever had, and most of them are courtesy of Mizz Britney Spears. Because if you can't get behind giant white tube socks and possible Sketchers Step Ups™ paired with hair so tousled it looks like that of a person dwelling with dinosaurs, then I don't even know what you stand for anymore. This is why my eyes exist. They live for this shit.

Now, shall we?

My absolute favorite Brit Brit is experienced in the times when she's being her true self, and homie is never more herself than when leaving a Starbucks. Would humans even know of Starbucks if it weren't for this angel among us? If they haven't given this woman a black card filled to the brim with a lifetime supply of free Frapps, then they are all a bunch of GD Jon Snows.

Here's my BFF demonstrating another reason I love her so much -- she doesn't have a clue how to wear clothes. It's adorable. It's like she's never seen any of the following: a magazine, a mannequin, another person, an American Girl doll, Winnie the Pooh (okay, maybe; he doesn't wear pants) or Fashion Plates. I hate when someone else dresses her. Like this:

Okay, I just lied right to your face, because I love this. I'm not a monster. Levi Strauss' ghost came through a portal from the spirit world just to witness this moment. (I'm assuming.)

The final reason BS is best -- she's like a glittery unicorn personified:



Literally glittery!

But honest with her emotions. Just like a unicorn.

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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The DuckTales Theme Song Starring Actual Ducks Is Just What Humanity Needs

In these trying times of Bieber ATV-related arrests and Miley nips (see below), these adorably fluffy mother efffers are here to save the world. Or rewrite history.

I used to watch DuckTales and Captain Planet every day before school, so this bit of nostalgia is seriously the best thing I've seen in at least three days. The duck with the bow on her head???

It's too adorable. I can't handle it. And Scrooge McDuck swimming (nude in this instance -- risque!) in his gold? Help, I need to hold a baby duck immediately.

Just in case you have a case of oldie brain (like me), here's the OG version for science.

I can't wait to see live duck versions of all of my favorite TV show intros: KIDS Incorporated, Golden Girls, 90210, Orange is the New Black...It's all coming together, world. It's all coming together.

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Monday, August 25, 2014

Here's "Tiny Hamster In a Tiny Mansion," For All Of Your Monday Needs

Here we are. It's the beginning of another work week. Ain't that a bitch? Well, you know what isn't? This adorable-ass teensy hamster named Chicken just getting ready for the day.

Ugh, we know, Ryan. Don't come back until you're ready to show your abs and talk about your secret and going-to-be-a-gorgeous-creature baby.


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Thursday, March 6, 2014

Tina Fey Is Possibly My Favorite Human, Parts I And II (And III)

Overall, when it comes to humans, I'm all, "meh." Some people are okay, but a lot are kind of not. I hinted at my love for TF yesterday, but just in case you aren't 100% convinced that she's pretty much the best, let's look at some evidence.

Part I, for your consideration...

"I didn't look like...a...person," is completely relatable to me, because this:

Many parts of my life have been spent in limbo between being a possible homo sapien, and maybe a weird troll-ish Russian fairy tale creature that favors Z Cavaricci pants, so I understand this sentiment.

Part II is comprised of she and Jimmy Fallon being completely adorable together in this lip flip bit from The Tonight Show. Funny people laughing at themselves is one of the best things, so jump on that figurative sleigh ride of joy.

If you still aren't convinced, and you have 16 minutes (you do, stop pretend being busy), watch her episode of Jerry Seinfeld's web series "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" here. She's a mf-ing delight, and her hair looks fantastic.

And because she's so opaque to the public, and never reads about herself online, I can say this without nagging fears of rejection: I love you lots, Tina Fey. Never stop being so Tina Fey-ish. That's like writing "stay sweet," in someone's middle school yearbook, but better. Your brain (I won't say body, that's creepy and presumptuous) is a wonderland.

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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Our Fake Best Friend Kristen Wiig Pretends To Be Harry Styles On "The Tonight Show," Is Predictably Adorable.

Kristen Wiig was on the new Jimmy Fallon's "Tonight Show" the other night, and she pretended to be One Direction's (1 Direction's? I'm too old for this sh*t) Harry Styles for the duration of her interview. And it seems like Kristen knows about as much as I do about Harry, AKA the human person under this hair:

Pretty much nothing, except that his shoes are comical. But she's definitely right on about one thing -- carnitas are amazing.

If you missed K Dubs as Michael Jordan when she was on Jimmy's show a few months ago, do yourself a damn solid and watch it here.

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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Beauty Lessons I've Learned From Glam As Eff Celebrity Kids

We already know that celebrities primarily have their crap together, looks-wise. As if that doesn't wound your ego enough, how can we even feel semi-cool when so many celebrity kids are such badass mofos? Instead of just being insanely jealous of these small humans, I've gleaned some valuable lessons from their far-more-glamorous-than-mine lifestyles, and how they can enhance our boring, adult lives.

Lesson #1: Maddox Jolie-Pitt's brave ass bleached mohawk haircut reminds you to take a chance and get that gutsy cut.

If a five year old (or whatever, I'm terrible with kid ages) can get a haircut that's avant garde as sh*t, then maybe you can get more than a trim next time you hit up the Cost Cutters. Our hair can be a kind of living, growing security blanket, and changing it can take balls, but it's also an accessory that you wear every damn day so it better be pretty cool. If you feel like chopping that sh*t and matching your spirit animal Jennifer Lawrence, listen to Sara Bareilles' "Brave" on repeat three times and do it. It's just hair, IT WILL GROW BACK.

Lesson #2: Suri Cruise's constant elegance shows you CAN get your sh*t together and do a DIY mani.

Oh, who is that, Blair Waldorf? Nope, that's mf-ing Suri Cruise, who is in preschool, or some sh*t, wearing t-stap heels and a chic, floral, bubble-hemmed dress. This picture is really putting a harsh microscope on the extent of my laziness. While I find it hard to wash my hair on the reg, Suri already knows how to wear hear metallic handbag in a cross-body fashion.

I know, I know, Suri. I feel your eyes of judgement. I'll paint my toenails tomorrow.

Lesson #3: Skyler Zoe schools us on letting your beautiful curly-haired flag fly.

Hair is the world's biggest case of that annoying old tripe, "you always want what you can't have." But embracing the natural texture of your hair can be a gorgeous thing, and if you don't believe me, just ask this kid's ridiculous lovely locks. Living in these modern times (old), there are roughly 83 trillion hair products out there, so find the right combo that works for your hair and work that sh*t.

Not you, Biebs. Not you.

Lesson #4: Stafani/Rossdale kids are beacons for not being afraid to try a trend.

Listen, these kids are f*cking way, way cooler than you.  Do you have a badass professor-y looking tweed vest? Are you currently wearing a bow tie with a checkered shirt? Didn't think so. But even though we are all infinitely more pedestrian than these tiny children, we can still learn from their edge and flair. Don't be afraid to wear that bold ass purple lipstick! Zuma (Zima? Zumba? Simba?) would totally encourage it. Feel like wearing some super-extreme cat eye liner? Kingston approves. He's wearing flame shoes. Trust him.

Lesson #5: Levi McConaughey needs you to chill the hell out.

I know, I know, life's a b*tch and then you die, and all that jazz. But we could definitely learn a little something from the offspring of Matty McC, and be a little more hippie and zen-like. Stress is one of the biggest things that can wreak havoc on your beauty life and your life life, so learning to deal with it will actually make you hotter. You've got to do what you have to do to decompress -- workout if it helps, drink so damn cozy time tea, read yourself a bedtime story, I don't give an eff. Figure out your deal and make yourself feel better. And maybe try walking a bandana-wearing dog, or something.

Lesson #6: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt says do you and forget everyone's opinions.

Shiloh is a down-ass little person. She's all about breaking down gender barriers and schooling b*tches on being themselves. Shiloh does and wears what she wants, and I love it. If a kid this young can be true to their style and to themselves, then the horrible adults of this earth can all do the same.

Lesson #7: Louis Bullock lives by the motto, "When in doubt, hat it out."

LLASC, you guys. (That's Louis loves a smart chapeau, if you're a lame.) Listen, there's not much better in this life than a bangin' statement accessory, and hats near the top of the list. My favorite thing about hats? They cover dirty hair, AKA irrefutable visual evidence of my laziness. But they also add style, sass, grunge, weirdness, femininity, or whatever deal you're working with to a basic bones outfit. So take a page from lil' Louis' style book and put a hat on that sh*t.

What celebrity kid do you guys love? Did I miss anyone? Blue Ivy asked me not to mention her. She said her life is none of our damn business.

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Friday, January 3, 2014

Non-Dick Celebrity News Of The Day: Jennifer Hudson Buys Her Assistant/BFF A House And It's Adorable

Usually I feel like this about in regards to most humans:

It's pretty universal in my world. But then J Hud, the keeper of the amazing pipes, comes along does something super sweet and selfless and makes the rest of the celebrity world look like a big old bag o' d's. As the world's best boss move she bought her assistant, and friend since elementary school, A MF-ING HOUSE for Christmas. This video is him discovering the big reveal.

Well, that is just the cutest thing I've witnessed in a hot minute. The only thing more adorable than that is (maybe) a basket of kittens.

Yeah, that's pretty damn adorable.

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Monday, November 25, 2013

If You Only Watch One Internet Video This Week, Make It This One - Seth Rogen And James Franco Recreate That "Bound 2" Kimye Vid

Warning: There's an eff in this, and lots of squinching and man racks. In other words, it's perfect.

This sh*t is absolutely flawless, and I won't eff it up with too much commentary.

You win, boys. You win.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

My Crusade to BFF Up Jennifer Lawrence, Part Honey Boo Boo

This isn't the first time I have realized that I am awkwardly in love with Jennifer Lawrence. This time, she tells Jay Leno how she got into a car accident because she thought she saw Honey Boo Boo.

via f*ckyeahlizlemon
Oh, how I love J Law.

P.S. Can I tell you b's something? I'm afraid I will HATE Honey Boo Boo next season. It's a big phobia for me right now. Like you know when something is awesome, and then the thing realizes it's awesome, and then it's kind of absolutely terrible? I think that's happening.

P.P.S. You know what's always kind of terrible? Jay Leno.

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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Neil Patrick Harris' Family Never Fails to Make a B SQUEEEEE!

via neil patrick harris' twitter
Listen, I'm not even kid obsessed, or anything, but this ish is freaking ridiculously adorable. Kids in Halloween costumes are already really cute, but the whole family? In themed costumes? Squeeeee, b*tch. SQUEEEE!

P.S. Lil' Dorothy is totally into it, but Lil' Lion looks vaguely pissed. And NPH's husband is possibly the cutest.

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Breaking News: Jennifer Lawrence is the Most Charming/Adorable Human

I mean, seriously. I liked it so much, I want to put a BFF charm on it.

video via buzzfeed

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