Only Watch This Ish if You Truly, Truly Hate Yourself

I watched this entire Nickelback video. What does that even say about my life? This is the latest Nickelback video, starring Jason Alexander (Seinfeld, not Britney Spears' 55 hr long husband. That might have been better.) It's hard to know where to rest your eyes while watching this. I couldn't make eye contact with homeboy's turrrible rug, that's for damn sure. And that font? Don't get me started. The highlight is Brooke Burns rubbing coffee beans all over her body and flying through green screen space surrounded by coffee cups. I guess?

That's more than five minutes of my sh*tty life that I'll never get back.


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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Amanda Bynes Edition

pics via Buzz Feed

This person is ALLEGEDLY Amanda Bynes. But I hope somebody's birth certificate was stolen, or something, because this is freaking me the eff out. SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING ON HERE, PEOPLE. Boo boo is looking hella disoriented, skinny as a mofo, and in danger of having extreme follicular damage to that rug if some V05 Hot Oil doesn't jump up on that scalp real quick. Let it holler at you, girl. Let it holler. Not to mention, she's rocking the hell out of a SCRUNCHIE. There's no need for anymore exhibits; case closed. Seriously, tweet me if you need a place to rest your weary head, sweetness. Let's reboot.

And that's why Amanda Bynes gets the GUUUUUURL of the day.



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Oh, Snap. Get My Brown Lip Liner and Frosted Lipstick Back, STAT.

Word on the (beauty) street is that chocolate nails are back for fall. To which I say, been there, done that, got the long ass acrylic nails to prove it. (Well, not the actual nails. That would be disgusting. I have the PICTURES to prove it.)

Let's get a closer look at those hot, hot talons of late 90's sexy.

Woooooow. (Flavor Flav voice -- I that even a slightly relevant reference? Nope, not at all.) So, I'm not sure if I'm to jump all up on this bandwagon yet, but I did find some great polishes to kick off the chocolate rain craze.

butter London in Tramp Stamp, $14

Essie in Chocolate Cakes, $8

NYX in Matte Chocolate Brown, about $6

Will you guys try chocolate nails again? Or did you get your fill (har, har) of the choco trend back in the day?



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People are Doing Crap to Their Hair, Again. (Plus Cyrus Family Music That's Really Friggin' the Business.)

As I'm sure all of you h's have seen, My Cy (aka Miley Cyrus) cut that hurrr. Here's a collage that I made of some of her Twitter pictures, because I am a twelve year old girl.

Now, here's the thing. I like it. She's young, and this is the time to do this crap. She looks like a sexual(ish) Susan Powter.

With a tiny dash of Kate Gosselin.

Remember THAT haircut? That was tragic. But I'm totally into MC's hair. I'm jealous that I can't pull off that mess. But Miley's not the only b in the game that's switching up that rug. Mizz Christina Aguilera also rode that pony.

pic via US Weekly

This, on the other hand, I am not into.  It's just TOO MUCH. Especially for someone of her age. Now I'm not saying b is OLD, but we're the same age. I'm immature as a mofo, and I consider myself about seven years too old to do this jazz. And it's all just a little...Um...(Porny.) But that's a good look! (If that's your thing. And if so, play on, player.)

In another twist of events that turns the tables back to the Cyrus family, I have a new jam, and it's by a band that includes Miley Cyrus' older sister. The band's called Frank + Derol, and the song is called "Barely Love You Too." Click below to download that ish fo' free. You have nothing to lose, and it's seriously freaking the bee's knees. Just download it, and wear out your repeat dealy deal. You are welcome.






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Randy Travis Got Busted for Getting Crunk and Driving While...

pic via E! News

NAKEY! I normally wouldn't even write about a country singer, just because it's not really my deal at the moment, but B WAS NAKED AND CRASHED HIS CAR. How does that happen? But he apparently was wearing a hat, because the picture above is ol' Ran Ran leaving the slammer in some papery scrub deals, barefoot, and WEARING A HAT. You would think that one would at least throw a thong on before climbing behind the wheel. Damn, I'll have what he's having. ALLEGEDLY.

P.S. If he was drinking Arbor Mist, I can die a happy woman.




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Lazy Blogging: Go Read Something That I Already Wrote

pic via Allure

I don't expect you guys to read 99.9% of the ish that I write. I mean most of it is complete and utter nonsense. But, please go read what I wrote for my Allure blog this week. If you don't remember all of this mess, I don't even know you anymore.



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True Blood Musings: I Think the Wardrobe B's are Effing With Us.

So, this happened this week. I can't even handle 90% of what my eyes saw this week. Let's get this over with...

JUMP!!!

UPDATE: Holy eff, you guys. This b stole Honey Boo Boo's jam.

Mind = blown. I think I just saw the future.

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