Random Homie: Snap N Easy Organizer

 This is how I live my life, people. This is half of my "daily" makeup bag. Yes, it's a old, raggedy ass ziploc bag with holes in it. Deal with it. I'm a disgusting, gross, terrible human person. Luckily, Snap N Easy sent over one of their cute little brush/pencil organizers for me to try and get my damn life in order.

Snap N Easy, $14

This little muffin has eight places to stick all of your ish in, if you are a reasonable person, or a couple of my main b brushes and eyeliners, if you're me. You just snap those ho hoes right in, and as long as they aren't excessively thick or thin, they are in there for the long haul. My only small issue is that my little eyeliner brush was too skinny to hold, but that's a mutha effin' first world pain if I have ever heard one. And there's also another fun surprise on this baby.

There are crystals on that b*tch! This thing is just friggin' adorable, you guys. I put it in my purse one day when I was going to work, and the girls I work with thought it was cuter than a newborn puppy.

I'm one step away from Caboodling out in this b*tch, y'all. Watch out. Check out the Snap N Easy for yourself here. It's $14 for sparkles, b's!



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Blogging Note, with a Helping of This Looks Disgusting.

I'm having some womanly issues today, so if my posting is spotty (har har) you'll understand why. And maybe my "condition" (Why do I feel like I'm a 1930's doctor right now? These broads and their hysterics!) is making me feel extra grossed out right now, but I kept seeing this sh*t on Facebook, as a sponsored post, and it was straight up making my ass sick.

via bob evans

Have you guys seen this? It's recipes using Bob Evans' refrigerated mashed potatoes. Most of them looked pretty insane, but this one took the proverbial gross cake. This is the Clubhouse Mashtini, featuring things like: ham, turkey, pickles, and ranch dressing. That sounds nothing short of vomitous to my delicate constitution. 

Not today, Bob Evans. Not today.


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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Katie Holmes' Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Dress

Let me start off by actually saying something  nice. Single looks good as eff on K Holmie when it comes to the facial and hair areas. Boo boo is looking tons less robotic and dead eyed than she did when she was with lil' man. So "Yay!" for all of that. Now, let's get b*tchy for a hot minute. I cannot look at this dress she wore to the Sandy Relief Concert last night without having total recall of Donatello from TMNT.

B has stick skills.

The purple, the shell abdomen -- it's all there. All K dog needs are these to separate her digits, and she'd be working for Splinter's hairy ass.

Remember THESE monstrosities?!?

Just wear this next time, K bomb, and save yourself the trouble.

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Disney Rides Are NEVER This Fun.

Wait...So is this a ghost story? I am completely and totally jealous of every single effin' person in this video. The late 80's/early 90's were so equal parts magical and disgusting, weren't they? They were the best of times, they were the worst of times. And if that's what it's like to be a construction worker, sign my ass up. I didn't realize that strong choreography was a job requirement.




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Random Homie: Incoco Nail Polish Strips in Cheers!

Incoco in Cheers!, $8.99

I have made myself VERY clear on the fact that I am captain of the Lazy Committee. (If you want to join, you do nothing. And we will never, ever meet -- we are also sponsored by the We Hate Everyone Club.) And my laziness seems to at least triple in force when it comes to nail care. If you could see my toenail polish situation right now, you would literally vomit your entire face off. Dire straits, I'm talking.

So when Incoco sent me their nail polish strips to try, I was excited but reserved. In the past, I've had mixed results with nail strips. A lot of them are like trying to put a damn child's plastic toy shovel on your nail and hoping that ish sticks. Spoiler alert: It totally doesn't. When I opened the package, this is what I found:

Like, literally, every friggin' thing you MIGHT even ever need to apply these things, including wipes to remove them. Holy eff, that never happens with these kits! And I'm pretty sure that the little pack of strips are clear coats, although I couldn't figure it out. When I opened the actual pack of polish strips, I knew these b's were something different. It actually SMELLED LIKE NAIL POLISH. Whaaaat? Imagine, nail strips made from actual nail polish. And the polish was really cool. Black with chunky pieces of glitter, not some wimpy ass glitter tossed here and there -- these were like Ke$ha glitter volume. And applying these puppies was about 39843% easier than the strips I've tried before. The whole process took maybe 15 minutes, when it usually takes me about an hour to get that sh*t tight with those tricky ass strips.

The results -- blang blam!

And the wear is pretty awesome, too. I'm on day four, and I only have some slight wear on the tips of my nails. No chips or peeling, yet. Bottom line -- so friggin' easy even I can do it. I might have some new ride or die nail homies, y'all. Check out all of the colors and such from Incoco here.

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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Everyone I Know, for Not Getting This Dude to Do a Dance for Me

Why can't this dude "YOOOOUP" twerk it up in a circle for my birthday? Dammit, Aaron. You're such a damn good gift giving hog. But for real, that was really weird. Why did that man have to wear a skirt? Why did that man have to then lift the skirt? Why do old people love wearing socks and awkward shoe combos? BUT REALLY, WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIFT THE SKIRT???

This is my dog, Wiggy, and we both usually think that everything is the worst, so it just seems apropos at this point. (And, yes, I made a meme of my own dog. Get off my junk.) But you know what isn't the worst? Tickling baby penguins named Cookie.



See, everything ended up okay in the end. Now we won't all be hearing "YOOOOUP" in our dreams, and envisioning undergarments that just can't be unseen.


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Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

It's almost Doomsday, b's! Make sure you're ready to still be presentable for the zombie folk, with my post apocalyptic beauty tips and tricks in my Allure blog this week. Click here to read that ish.




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