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Showing posts with label Eff No. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eff No. Show all posts

Thursday, January 30, 2014

GUUUUUURL Of The Day: Trojan Condoms' Commercial Is Letting Us Know That Old People Are Doing It

Haven't felt like you wanted to vomit nearly enough today? This should solve that.



Well, my uterus just shriveled up and died like a Craisin, so there's that. My brain knows, deep in its recesses, that oldies occasionally get freaky. But, my eyeballs and ear holes don't need that data.

via realitytvgifs
Thanks, Trojan. I'm barren.






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Thursday, January 3, 2013

GUUUUUURL of the Day: Lil' Waynes NEWEST Face Tattoo. (The Old Ones are Kind of Grandfathered in, I Guess.)

pic via spin
I mean, I really didn't even think that this needed to be said, but apparently, it does: Tattooing sh*t on your face is not a great idea. Not only did Lil' Wayne (Side note -- how long in life can one be known as "Lil'" whatever? Is there an age cap on that? I feel like if you are a septuagenarian, or something, it's gone on far too long.) get another face tattoo, but this one reads "BAKED" in squares. It's apparently in reference to a skateboard company competitor? Or something? I don't know, you go try to figure that mess out. I'm far, far too old to know what the eff all of this means.

One thing that I do feel pretty, pretty confident about is not getting a tattoo...on your face. Especially when it's a possible advertising ploy. Like, you realize that is your FACE face, right? And you already have a bunch of OTHER tattoos on that b? You only have one forehead, Lil'. Let's not make it a cluttered Penny Saver advertising page. IT'S YOUR FACE, MAN.

via realitytvgifs
You look crazy.



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Monday, December 17, 2012

Blogging Note, with a Helping of This Looks Disgusting.

I'm having some womanly issues today, so if my posting is spotty (har har) you'll understand why. And maybe my "condition" (Why do I feel like I'm a 1930's doctor right now? These broads and their hysterics!) is making me feel extra grossed out right now, but I kept seeing this sh*t on Facebook, as a sponsored post, and it was straight up making my ass sick.

via bob evans
Have you guys seen this? It's recipes using Bob Evans' refrigerated mashed potatoes. Most of them looked pretty insane, but this one took the proverbial gross cake. This is the Clubhouse Mashtini, featuring things like: ham, turkey, pickles, and ranch dressing. That sounds nothing short of vomitous to my delicate constitution. 


Not today, Bob Evans. Not today.


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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

GUUUUUURL of the Day: Everyone I Know, for Not Getting This Dude to Do a Dance for Me



Why can't this dude "YOOOOUP" twerk it up in a circle for my birthday? Dammit, Aaron. You're such a damn good gift giving hog. But for real, that was really weird. Why did that man have to wear a skirt? Why did that man have to then lift the skirt? Why do old people love wearing socks and awkward shoe combos? BUT REALLY, WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIFT THE SKIRT???


This is my dog, Wiggy, and we both usually think that everything is the worst, so it just seems apropos at this point. (And, yes, I made a meme of my own dog. Get off my junk.) But you know what isn't the worst? Tickling baby penguins named Cookie.



See, everything ended up okay in the end. Now we won't all be hearing "YOOOOUP" in our dreams, and envisioning undergarments that just can't be unseen.


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Friday, November 30, 2012

GUUUUUURL of the Day: Mens in Turtlenecks


I was watching the latest episode of 30 Rock last night, when this abomination came upon my screen -- the dreaded man turtleneck. It was actually a small plot point on the episode. You know, the fact that turtlenecks are TERRIBLE. Even the name is gross. Who would want a neck like a turtle? Have you seen a turtle's neck? Don't agree with me? Hold your mother effin' horses sister, and let us take a 'neck tour.

I'm pretty sure that this is a terrible joke.
A typical turtleneck patron. The cat is sickened to his core.
What in the eff is this Devil's neck maiden???
Mmmmkay. What kind of weird ass door is that? How does it even work?
Well of course. My nemesis surfaces again. P.S. This picture is friggin' creepy.
DO YOU BELIEB ME YET?


Welcome to it.


 

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