You know how it goes -- your ass is strolling along the ho stroll with full-on Jhirmack, bounce back, beautiful hair when all of a sudden, bullsh*t mother nature pops up.
We see you, you showy b, with your friggin' polar vortex and your dry, cold air. And all of that hootenanny can lead straight to hell -- or dehydrated, brittle, static-filled hair. But worry not, fair maiden, there are ways to shut that sh*t down, or at least minimize the terrible-ness.
Treat Yo' Self
Keeping your mop moisturized is the name of the game in these tough and trying times. If you want to keep your hair game super-low maintenance, go with a hippie-approved coconut oil treatment. I tried it for the very first time
here, and I finding myself using (and recommending) this sh*t on the regular. If you want to intensify the treatment, feel free to wrap your hair up in plastic wrap and let your body heat (sultry!) do all the work.
If you are a fancy-pantsed type and want something a little more salon-y, I really love Minardi's Fortifying Pre-Wash Therapy (
amazon, $38.90). I have zero idea where I got this bottle of goodness, but I'm assuming someone sent it to me to try at some point. You apply it in the same way that you would the coconut oil -- saturate your dry, unwashed hair, let that sh*t marinate for a while, then shampoo and lightly condition. I'm really into this stuff because it leaves hair as silky as Princess Jasmine's harem pants, without weighing the hair down or making it feel the least bit greasy. It's a damn dream weaver.
Do a Shampoo Switch-a-roo
Listen all of you beauty-survive-on-a-dime types, now is not the time to skimp on products and start using dish detergent, or whatever, to wash your mane. (Speaking of, no Mane n' Tail, either.) During harsh winter times, it's really important to not strip the sh*t out of your hair, so make sure to use a shamps that's sulfate-free and moisturizing. Better yet, now is a great time to try that whole
co-washing trend.
A really great (read: affordable) cleansing conditioner I'm into for co-washing is L'Oreal EverCreme Cleansing Condtioner (
walmart, $5.97). I feel like it actually washes my hair and doesn't leave it as limp as...never mind. (I have to draw the line somewhere.) The oily headed-terror that is my scalp doesn't allow me to use ONLY a cleansing conditioner for hair-washing purposes, so I've found that alternating days using a shampoo (to really, really clean my scalp) with days using a cleansing conditioner works best for me. But run your own scientific experiments and see what works best for your ass. It's your scalp. Do you.
The De-cling Scene
Even worse for your head hairs than all that outside weather madness can be that d-bag, indoor heat. That sh*t is drier than my dry ass sense of humor, and often leads to crazy, static-filled tresses. This static issue can be almost as bad as those early 90s days of terror, when you would pull on your best cotton knit turtleneck (it might have been hunter green), and suddenly be stuck looking at Young Einstein in the mirror.
Oldies, you feel me. Don't fret -- there are a few ways that you can avoid this tragic situation. First off, try using a boss ass leave-in, like It's a 10 (
drugstore.com, $13.69). Once again, it adds moisture to your hair, leaving it less likely to look insane. If you're still looking dandelion-esque, you can actually rub a dryer sheet over your hair to cut that sh*t out. Worst case scenario? Pull your hair up into a top knot and call it a day.
We're all done with you, winter. Bye.
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