ANNNNND My Hair Transformation C'est Fini. (I'm Fancy and French.)

So, I got brave(ish) on T-gives and dyed my own hair. See the reveal after the jump and how I effed up...And ended up in Walmart at the start of Black Friday with all of the crazies.

via 90120gifs

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Random Homie: Layla Ceramic Effect Nail Polish in #53

Zappos, $9.95 with FREE shipping

Before I received this Layla polish, I had never heard of the brand. It's apparently an Italian nail polish company, and they were one of the first peeps to do the whole magnetic polish deal. The color I tried is best described as a ruby red with flakes of red glitter. But the glitter isn't like your gamgam's glitter from Michael's. This polish looks like lava is painted on your nails.

My photography skills are straight sh*t.

I COULD NOT get a good representation of these nails in any light.

See? Terrible.

But I promise they are badass. And the polish dries really fast, which my lazy ass truly appreciates. The company says you don't need a base or top coat, but I did both anyway. What can I say? I can't be tamed. I break all the rules. Anyway, check out all of the colors over at Zappos and see what you think. Now I'm going to put on my Katniss Everdeen "girl on fire" dress to match my nails.

It has officailly come to a point that I can NEVER again mention Jennifer Lawrence/Katniss Everdeen in this space. Homegirl is one more mention away from legally making sure I stay 100 feet away from her ass.



Update: This is an easily chipping polish, which is pretty standard for glittery ass polishes, but I just had to keep it real with my b's. I wrote this post last night, and am now on my work lunch break, and I've got some chipping happening. But like some Level 2 type ish. Nothing insane.





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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Paris Hilton's Latest "Music"

Unfortunately, TMZ leaked this horrible collaboration of Paris Hilton and Lil' Wayne today, and it is really confusing my ass. Why are we still playing this charade with Paris Hilton? 'Tis not 2004 anymore, (not that) young lady. No one was into "Stars are Blind," and we don't want anymore of your baby voice. Especially when the song is so endearingly entitled, "I WANT TO BANG YOU." Not on my watch, b. This is not happening. I would much rather watch this on repeat. (Oh wait, I already do.)

And while we're at it, WHERE THE EFF IS TINKERBELL???

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My Crusade to BFF Up Jennifer Lawrence, Part Honey Boo Boo

This isn't the first time I have realized that I am awkwardly in love with Jennifer Lawrence. This time, she tells Jay Leno how she got into a car accident because she thought she saw Honey Boo Boo.

via f*ckyeahlizlemon

Oh, how I love J Law.

P.S. Can I tell you b's something? I'm afraid I will HATE Honey Boo Boo next season. It's a big phobia for me right now. Like you know when something is awesome, and then the thing realizes it's awesome, and then it's kind of absolutely terrible? I think that's happening.

P.P.S. You know what's always kind of terrible? Jay Leno.

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Random (Holiday) Homie: Yves Saint Laurent Holiday Set

Sephora, $65 value of $107

Ermahgerd, you guys. I actually scored an item from my Never Gonna Get It list!

Don't worry -- I love to be six months late on web trends.

Sephora sent over the YSL Holiday Set for me to try, which includes the Touche Eclat, which I have not been shy about obsessing over. The set includes:

An ultra glam holiday set featuring Touche Éclat N°2, Golden Gloss N°10, a mini Mascara Volume Effet Faux Cils in black, and a mini waterproof eye liner in black—all presented in a beautiful makeup bag.

The makeup bag is the perfect size for a crazy/hoarder-ish/I-have-a-major-lip-gloss-problem person like myself to keep in my purse. For some, it might be a great makeup-I-use-everyday bag. The eyeliner is GORGEOUS. It's deep, inky black and goes on insanely smooth. Like Al Green music smooth.  The lip gloss is crazy shiny and glittery.

It kind of tastes fruity, and isn't sticky. It makes my lips feel like a sexy Studio 54 party, but even glossier and with extra glitter. And when it comes to my new boyfriend, Touche Eclat, I have to say that it totally lives up to my expectations. Because I am an oily beast, I use it over a primer, but it totally brightens up my under eye area like the bossiest of bosses. It alone retails for $40, so I feel like the set it a great value. The last piece of the kit is a mini mascara. It's very volumizing and lengthening, and the best part? IT SMELLS LIKE ROSES.



LIKE ROSES, people. You don't get more luxury than that. Check out the set for your own damn self, here.



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Random Homie: LUSH's Blousey Shampoo

LUSH, $25.95

I know I just talked about another LUSH product, but I'm in love with a non-stripper. (Of your hair, sick brains!) I was dying to try Blousey, the new LUSH 'poo for LLDH (Ladies who love dying their hair, duh.), and they graciously sent me a sample. The texture is very different from any shampoo I've used before -- it's kind of lumpy and thick. Which, to me, makes it all the more fun. It just FEELS like your mama and them made it in their home laboratory, or something. And it smells kind of like a chocolatey banana. I have to stop myself from grabbing a spork and taking a taste. Because I exclusively use golden-plated sporks to eat things. It gets pretty sudsy for a bananarama-packed product, and it still really gets my ol' greasy mop clean. I am really loving on this stuff hardcore. My hair feels soft, clean, and smells like the Bluth Banana Stand.

So, in other words, I give it a dancing David Silver. 'Tis the highest honor of them all.

via 90210gifs

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"Crazy Pants Bieber" Strikes Again.

I was perusing this story on The Daily Mail about blah blah blah Biebs and Selena Gomez reuniting blah blah blah. I didn't even have one eff to give about all of that mess, until this photo turned my heart to ice:

pic via dailymail

What the muther eff? Did baby Bieber not have supervision when he was getting dressed, and accidentally wore his mom's upside down sweatshirt as a pair of pants? What the disgusting are those things? They are exactly one million times worst than the last ones! Even Selena, in the background, is all, "Did that weird cult-y lady leave yet?" Let's have a look at the back (if you're brave enough), shall we?

via dailymail

I can't even belieb (groan) that this is really happening. If things such as these are truly being manufactured, forget the death of Twinkies, THIS is the true sign of the apocalypse.

I'm going into my "safe chamber" until this is all over.

P.S. My safe chamber is my couch, wearing nearing-decade-old Juicy pants and dirty hair. Don't tell anyone.




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