BREAKING NEWS: Guess Who, Who, Who Got an Owl Tattoo?

You can go ahead and virtually punch me in the face for that stupid ish. The answer is Justin Bieber.

And I know this because I follow Biebs on instagram, and am freely accepting your judgement for this. He added the owl tatt next to his Ask Jeeves tattoo, which is a nice accompaniment. (No! It's not an Ask Jeeves tattoo. That would just be silly. Errmmm.) It also looks like the owl might be perched on a paint brush or a broom. So it's either a witch or artist owl. Yay!



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Can a B Eat a Meatball Sub Without Being Called Knocked Up?

pic via dailymail

Over the weekend, hoes were spouting off all over the place that Mila Kunis was looking SUUUUUPER pregnant with Ashton Kutcher's annoying baby. To which I give a big "B please."

Homegirl doesn't look pregnant, she looks like someone that might have just eaten a meal. And is drinking a lot of tea (or whatever the eff she's drinking). Get off ladies' uterus' jocks, internets. I'm more concerned about those capri pants.



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Random Homie: SeabuckWonders Sea Buckthorn Seed Oil

I'm going to be real with you right know. It's hard to write/review about a supplement. So when the nice SeabuckWonders people sent me supplements to try, I was excited. But while I was taking the SeabuckWonders Sea Buckthorn Seed Oil, (I took the softgels) I was really unsure how to review it. I'm no chemist, and I'm not super observant, so I'm probably the worst person to even be doing this mess. And also let me preface by saying that I have really bad skin. Like acne for almost 20 yrs kind of skin. Yeah, it's pretty friggin' awesome. And fun.

ANYWAY, while I was taking the supplement, I felt like my skin looked a lot better than normal. I wasn't breaking out, and I didn't have to wear as much foundation, which is like UNHEARD of for my horrid-ness. But I didn't really attribute it to the Sea Buckthorn, yet. (Remember? Not observant? Worst beauty blogger, ever?) Then after I ran out of the supplement, ish really went down. I totally broke out. Like insane breaking out. Like, I'm still dealing with the repercussions. (Yay!)

So, needless to say, I am going to buy ONE MILLION MORE BOTTLES of this stuff. I'm also trying the liquid on my face, mixing a few drops with my normal lotions/concoctions. I'll let you know how that experiment works out.

Oh, and if you think that I'm weird and don't want to listen to my crazy ass, Dr. Oz also featured these products and talked about how sea buckthorn has been shown to improve the appearance of skin, help with digestion, and possibly help b's lose weight. He totally said "b's." (No, he absolutely did not.) So read up on it, and see if you think I might be something cool for your life. See, I'm awkward as eff. I don't know how to do this. So let's finish this up by watching this adorableness.



Now, I'm going to slather myself in sea buckthorn. Good day to you all.




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Random Homie: Revlon Top Speed Fast Dry Nail Enamel in Sterling

Have ya' heard? I'm a lazy ass b. So when it comes to painting any phalanges (Does that include toes, too?), I have a less than stellar track record.

pic via unitedstatesoftony

 So when Revlon gave me one of the new Top Speed Nail Enamels in Sterling, I was pumped to try it. Any time saved that I can spend lying around is a major bonus to me. One issue that I have had in the past with fast drying polishes is that they tend to bubble or the finish on the polish is funky as hell. I used two coats of polish and finished with a top coat, and the finish was super shiny and smooth. And it dried really fast. (I don't have the specifics or anything, I'm not an effin' scientist up in here.)

All I know is that I'm sold. So go search out your local drustores/wherever you choose to purchase your ish and try this mess. It's the monkey's mittens. (I'm over the cat's pajamas.)

 

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The Best Part of Waking Up is Richard Simmons in Yo' Cup

all pics via buzzfeed

Nothing screams, "Eff yeah, LIFE!" like a Richard Simmons collage. I love this b so much, that I wish I were him on the daily. How can you look at a picture of a man wearing huge craft balls glued to his person and not scream, "YAAAAAAAAASSSSS!" in your heart? But that outfit reminds me of something...

I'm not even going to ask "Who wore it better?" because, b please. My Simms has CURLING GIFT RIBBON on his glasses. That wins every time. Pshaw, Nicki Minaj. I bid you good day.



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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Keanu Reeves' Turrible, Turrible Facial Hair

pic via celebitchy

Keanu Reeves is a hot ho, but homeboy is pushing the damn limits in this b. That facial hair looks like he shaved a nutria and glued its hair on his face, and not even particularly well. That ish is NOT an effin' complement.

I haven't seen a beard this bad since Justin Timberlake's neckbeard of circa '07.

That crap made rage boil inside my veins. Don't look surprised, Timberlake. You know you look like a friggin' asshat. Gross beards are the Devil's playground, and that is my public service announcement for dudes that are fighting the hot. Clean it up, fellas. Not. Cute. And for that, Keanu, you and your old timey hobo beard are the GUUUURL of the day.

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Donald Draper Brings the Hardcore Sexy...In Short Shorts.

pic via buzzfeed

Look at Jon Hamm with dem daisy dukes on, evvvverybody!



The Hammburgler is obviously filming for Mad Men, and this is not his reg bathing costume attire. I don't even care if he wears this ish as a swim suit, I'd still be into it.

Jon Hamm's ass can do no wrong in my book.

 

You do you, boo.

 

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