Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

One of my favorite things to do on this planet is drankin' wine and watching garbage TV. Because I'm a trash box that will never quite fill up. So I did a little ditty for Allure this week called, "The 9 Most Fabulous Beauty Moments in Reality Show History, Re-Created." I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Check it out here, if you wish, Buttercup.



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Brandi Glanville Does What We All Feel Like Doing, and Gets Crunk and Semi-Naked.

I kind of love Brandi from RHOBH, you guys. She always seems like she has zero effs to give, and she does sh*t like getting her swerve on on a Monday night. Like, b*tch got like boobs and ass hanging out drunk on the first day of the work week.

I'm not really sure how this dress was supposed to operate, but I don't think that this is it. Sh*t, if I had legs like homegirl, I would straight walk around like this always.

Turn it all the way up, boo. I blame Tamra.

Brandi pics via TMZ

 

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Adrienne Maloof Dons Her Best Freakum Onesie

Hey guys, remember that time that Real Housewives of Beverly Hill's Adrienne Maloof was 51 years old? Probably. Okay, then remember when SHE forgot?

Holy effin' kitten mittens, that's a lot of errrything happening in one tiiiny piece o' cloth. Lettuce take a wee bit closer look.

Well that was a huge mistake.

 

Now, let me be clear. I'm not just being a Judgy McBFace because I'm a terrible prude. I've had my own major days o' ho dress, myself.

This way my standard (obviously) garb for my late teens/early twenties. BUT, there' a time to leave that Bebe peek-a-boo/sheer/high-waisted/hot pantsed/koala bear face (it's my new name for extreme camel toe) inducing romper on the clearance rack, Maloof. AND THAT TIME IS NOW.

Hold for applause....

Good day.

AM pics via celebitchy

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GUUUUUURL of the Day: LeAnn Rimes and Her Garbage Shorts

via huffpo

According to the Huffington Post, LeAnn was photographed in this literal hot mess at her stepson's baseball game. A couple of issues here -- I mean clearly the sweaty-ass-hootenanny pleather shorts are public vag enemy number one, and totally creepy to wear to a kid's deal. But let's say you are full-on committed to wearing that ish. Would you not at least PUT ON MAKEUP WHEN YOU'RE WEARING VINYL HOT PANTS? If ever a time there arose to wear makeup, this is it, boo boo. And the fact that you are wearing a vintage-y football sweater because you're going to a sporting thing is annoying. How do I live with this owwwwtfit? How do I...How do I...But your boots are cute.

via realitytvgifs

Can you tell I like Brandi Glanville? (I refuse to say Team whatever. It makes me want to vomit.) Homegirl's funny and gives less than an eff. But really, I'm sure it's hard being LeAnn Rimes.



Okay, so I just really, really wanted to use that clip for about three weeks now. Eff it. Viva la moustache.





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In It's About Damn Time News: Kim Richards Edition

Kim Richards of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has entered rehab to get help with her problems with alcohol. I'm glad, this b seems a mess and needs to get back on track. Good luck, Kimmy (not Gibbler)! Just keep rocking that pearl choker, sweetness, and we will all be okay.

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Nope. Completely Natural!

I LOVE this photo montage from US Magazine cataloging Kate Gosselin's face over the past several years, and speculating over the procedures that she's had done. The first picture looks like a woman on trial for the murder of her abusive, preacher husband. The most recent looks like a crazy b trying desperately to become a regular on the RHoBH. Oh God, she's probably reading this (You know she has herself on crazy Google alert status updates.), and I just gave her an idea for her next career move. Dammit! Pin It

I Hope No One Needs Any Rhinestones for the Next Year, Because Every Michael's in the Country is Sold Out.

RHWoA's Kim Zolciak got married to her cub/baby daddy this weekend, and here is her first released wedding photo from Life & Style. I can't wait to see more pictures of this mess. There is A LOT happening on this dress, and that is quite a headpiece. Kim is so understated and classic in her taste! I think that she possibly sprayed herself with glue and rolled in glitter. Just a guess...And you know she thinks she looks like Grace Kelly or some koo koo craziness.

P.S. I still need to see this b's birth certificate. I can't believe she's only a couple years older than me. Pin It

BORED.

I'm sorry, this ish looks boring as hell. Nene's fired up about being rich? Kim's talking about her fetus' wiener? Andy Cohen, get your crap together before I slap that lazy eye straight. News flash: B's watch RHW of wherever to watch trash and fighting. Not to hear about b's stock portfolios. NEXT! Pin It