I Think It's Time to Talk Timberlake for a Minute.

via timmy's website

I've kept pretty effin' mum on JT for a long ass time. I didn't say sh*t about that rude ass wedding video, I haven't mentioned how Jessica Biel is irritating to me, I haven't even brought up the meeeeeehhhhh feeling that his new song bring me. (Is it two songs? Is it kind of super boring? I'm old and confused.) But THEN I came across the photos posted on Justin's website of his ass back in the studio, and realized that #1) he looks hot, and #2) his beard isn't very neck beard-y. I mean, amiright?

Not even a shade of this monstrosity in sight, which is completely newsworthy to my ass.

both photos via jt's website

A couple of other noteworthy things -- henleys are apparently the hot sauce to ol' JT, and Timbaland is back. Are we still doing the whole Timbaland thing? I guess Timbaland is to JT what Grumpy Cat is to me. Whatever floats it, I suppose.



I totally know where Justified is biting his style from, however. I watched Paris is Burning for the first time last night, and that henley is looking MIGHTY close to the one that Ken Pendavis is wearing at the 6:30 mark in this video. I see you, Timberlake.

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Why I Still Love Grumpy Cat, and I WILL NOT Stop the Effery.

She HATES cuddling. As do I -- get off my jock/personal space, other humans!

GC hates the outdoors. Being outside is TERRIBLE, you guys. It smells weird.

We both hate parties. TALKING TO ACTUAL PEOPLE?!? No.

She is NOT into grocery shopping. It's SO EFFING ANNOYING.

GC knows that being cold is SO GROSS.

We both know how HORRIBLE sports are. Why do people like this sh*t???

Are you guys sick of Grumpy Cat? Why can't I let her go? How do I move on with my life?

All photos via grumpycats.com.

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Random Homie: Mariah Carey's OPI Stay the Night from INPINK

My hands look like they're made from glittery moon rock, you guys, and I mean that ish in the best way possible. The nice people over at INPINK sent me a sample of the highly anticipated (in my heart) OPI/Mariah Carey callabo polish, Stay the Night ($9) and also a sassy little pave bracelet ($20), which I have been wearing the eff out of.

Now let's talk the polish. It's a black, matte polish with a pink glitter in it. And the finish is called sand, which means it dries to a sandpaper-type finish. It's seriously unlike any other nail product I've used. It's like a pumice stone, but glittery as sh*t. (Is that THE WORST description, ever?) You just need two coats of polish to get this sweet ass finish, but don't use a top coat because it's meant to look like SAND, hello. And I feel like the wear of the polish will be really long, because I've been wearing it for three days, and don't really have any chips. That's pretty unheard of for me, because I am hard as hell on my nails. They are like my own ten personal swiss army knives...that are attached to my hand.

See? It's still looking damn good, people. I'm totally into it. It makes me feel like this:

via mrhankey

 I really recommend this ish, if nothing more than it's different than anything I've ever tried before. Go visit the INPINK site to see all of the Mariah Carey/OPI possibilities. Hellllllooooo, moon fingers!




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My Old School (Lip) Jam and a New School Twist

clinique, $15

SURELY, if you are reading this blog, then you know about Clinique's Almost Lipstick in Black Honey. If not, then honey boo, it's time to get up on that train (and ride it). It's like a sheer-y, a little glossy, perfect bit of color to your lips. As if you've been drinking red wine -- and maybe noshing on a lil' cheesecake -- on a veranda with Blanche Devereaux all day. And who the hell doesn't want that lip color?!? This stuff has been around for years, so it's like an O.G. lip deal, much like my Blanche. Thank you for being a friend, Black Honey.

my new friend, shine attract lipstick (left) and black honey (right)

But I have a new pal, you guys. Avon's Shine Attract Lipstick in All Around Russet is kind of similar to my Black Honey, and the lipstick is on sale RIGHT NOW for $5.99. The exact shade is not available yet (this was another goodie from my Allure Best of Beauty haul, I believe), but there are a plethora of badass shades up in that b that you should try. Oh, and here's a swatch -- because I love your ass. (Not your ASS ass, but you.)

Pretty, pretty sweet, right? And I'm totally into the clear whatever it is around the color part of the lipstick. It makes it so un-lipsticky, and shiny. I'm totally feeling it. So I now have to share my love between my old school homegirl and my new fling. I feel like that douchey dude from Sister Wives.

 Totally feel you Kody with a k. Totally.



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Get Out Your Fancy Scrunchie.

Holy sh*t, you guys. Screw all of that talk about Destiny's Child getting back together, because over on Buzzfeed they are saying that Kriss (m. effin') Kross ARE REUNITING for a one time concert in Atlanta next month. Let's not pretend like you weren't into this at the time:



You know you tried to force your denim overalls, that your mom bought you from JC Penney's kids' section, on awkwardly backwards, or you are wiggady wiggady wiggady whack. You tried. We all did. Oh and by the by, friends, here's what ol' KK looks like now.

via buzzfeed

Dude on the left is a DEAD RINGER for either KC or JoJo -- I never really figured out who's who.

And don't even get me started on that friggin' turtleneck. Did he time machine here? Now let's all get tickets to this ish and car pool together. Whose mom can drive? We're bringing back middle school.

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Random Homie: Bango by Pro Beauty Tools

I'm not a home-bang-cutting virgin, you guys. Part of loving DIY beauty is deciding to cut some badass blunt bangs on a whim, and then promptly doing that sh*t before thinking of the consequences. Many a time have I ended up with some whack ass craziness happening on my head area. But a little while ago, I was alerted to this new little handy kit called Bango, which helps you cuts your own bangs at home. I got to try one, and here's what it comes with:

Like, literally, everything you would need to take care of the job. There's even an instructional DVD that shows you how to trimmy trim everything from blunt bangs to split ends. But the real star of the show is that little pink clip/comb deal. You just clip it on whatever area you want to trim, slide that ish to the end, and trim to the guide with the scissors provided. Mess is so easy that it isn't even funny, you guys. This kit costs around $15, and is TOTALLY worth it for anyone that has baby/blunt/side/crazy/sane/Flock of Seagulls/whatever else bangs. Check out where you can find Bango to purchase fo' yo' own ass here, so you can quit jacking up your own ish.

Yep, like that.

P.S. I can't tell you how proud of myself I am that I made ZERO crude jokes in this post. Hooray for maturity!




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Crazy Sh*t Celebrities Have Been Telling Me

No, I haven't been hearing the voices of famous people in my head. I'm not to THAT level, yet. I'm talking about on the social medias. I try to follow as many b's as possible on Twitter/Instagram/Grindr (I wish). And on occasion, that mess pays off. This is what has been happening in the celebrity world lately.

My lifetime role model, R Simms, talked about lunch boxes. (Heh -- boxes.)

Amanda Bynes bedazzled her face. With a needle. (Or however they do that ish.)

JB FINALLY listened to my ass for once in his mutha effin' life, and looked like he was in an all-lesbian review of West Side Story in the process. (P.S. Does that exist??? Because I would be VERY interested in watching that.)

Lilo talked about herself via Google Facts. We're all VERY impressed, Linds. You're special. And now for the picture that made my life...

LANA DEL REY IS F*CKING SMILING IN CURRENT DAY TIMES, YOU GUYS. What. Is. Happening? If someone had told me that this day would come, I would have never believed it. And she looks totally norms! Like a real and actual humanoid -- I feel quite confused.

And now I must go rest, I do believe that this has given me the vapors.

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