People Are Doing Crap to Their Hair and Stuff

Pic via US Weekly

Betty Draper (birth certificate name: January Jones) is now a ginger. Don't worry, her b face is still in tact. I'm not saying that to be an a-hole. I, myself, have a b face. People are always like, "What's wrong, sugar pie? Why so glum?" And I'm all, "Nothing. This is what my face looks like." So I feel you, B-Dubs.

Pic via E! Online

And in young buck news, Demi Lovato is now doing the pink tip deal. Does anyone else think that Demi is looking less and less Demi Lovato-like? She's a cute kid either way, I'm just saying. And why wasn't this pink hair mess around when it was age appropriate for me to do this ish? I missed out. My life is turrible.

Pic via Buzz Feed

Well at least there's this.


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The Day I Have Been Waiting for: My Beauty Interview With Hot Stoddy!

Pic via Courtney Stodden

If you guys have been reading this blog for any time at all, you know that I have a slight obsession with Courtney Stodden. And now that I have a tiny bit of street cred, you know that the first thing I wanted to do was try to get an interview with my favorite homegirl.

And she actually agreed. I know, right? So, I now present to you, a beauty interview with Courtney Stodden...

Q: Eeeek! I'm so excited to be interviewing you. I'm somewhat obsessed with you. But I'll try to keep it professional up in this piece. Do you have a number one favorite beauty product of all time?

A: The pleasure is all mine. My favorite beauty product would have to be my self tanning micro mist by Sun Laboratories. It gives you a beautiful sun-kissed glow, easy to use and best of all it's animal cruelty free which is extremely important to me.

 Blogger's Note: Um, who else has two thumbs and loves to self tan? (Spoiler alert: This girl!)

Q: It takes me roughly a million years to get ready every day. There are so many steps to being girly! You look like you like to get pretty glammed up on the regular. How long does it take you to get ready?

A: Depends what is on my agenda for the day. If I am just hanging around the house, not doing too much ... it takes me about a half an hour of time to shower. But, if there is a photo shoot that I need to be at or simply just going out for the evening, I'd say roughly around 2 1/2 hours.

Q: How about perfume? Do you have a favorite? Or  what do you like to smell like? (I like to smell like sugar cookies, like any normal, 31 year old woman.)

A: I'm in love with Pink Sugar perfume - smells just like candy. Just squirt yourself with some of that stuff and you'll have every guy wanting a taste, haha.

Blogger's Note: Pink Sugar is my favorite. I want to bathe in that mess.

Q: I'm always looking for a new shampoo and conditioner combo. Is there one that you just LOVE?

A: I am currently using Redken shampoo & conditioner for blondes. It does the job nicely.

Q: One final question: How many pairs of lucite heels do you have? Is it like one favorite pair? Or a million different ones? Oh, and is your foot better?

A: I couldn't have enough 8in heels in my closet! And yes, my foot is feeling much better ... thank you for asking! xo

Blogger's Note: I also am a fan of very high heels. I'm feeling a BFF vibe. Anyone else? No, just me?

Okay, I will go back to obsessing over the enigma that is C. Stodd from afar, and stop creeping her out.

Thanks so much to Courtney for allowing be to be weird with her!



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Look Awake, Even When You're Sleepy as Eff

I'm tired lately, you guys. I don't really know what my deal is, but I just want to curl up on the back fur of this guy and sleep for days.

My dark circles look like I could be an unfortunate extra on The Walking Dead. (I've only seen that show like once, but I'm sure those b's aren't exactly looking fresh as a daisy.) But luckily, I have a little secret weapon in my makeup arsenal that keeps me looking (somewhat) normal.

Ride or Sleepy Die

I have not made it a secret of the fact that I am not the biggest fan of bareMinerals, but this ish is the exception. This is Well Rested. It's the perfect little pick-me-up for dark under eyes, and it doesn't get crazy looking after a couple of hours of wear, like a lot of concealers tend to do. (On my oily-ass anyway.)

I apply it with my concealer brush, and I instantly look 8% better. Now to work on the rest of the mess of my face...


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Miley Cyrus has an Intolerance to Gluten, Human-Sized Shorts

Pic via Huffington Post

Unwad your panties, no-pants police. Miley is just wearing short shorts, like any 19 year old (or however old she is) girl. And she's probably wearing her fiance's shirt, which brings more "Awwww, how sweet!" feelings than this does:

(No, it totally doesn't.)

But I will say, that suitcase it hot. And you can give it to me whenever you wish to, Mi Cy.



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And Everything was Going so Well!

Pic via Marie Claire UK

Just when my girl's looking all hot and ish, we have to go here. Cray shirt, string choker, and sweater uggs. Come on, honey boo boo. Can I PLEASE put your outfits out on the bed for you every morning like our moms did in elementary school? (Not mine. B, please. I wore whatever my crazy ass felt like.)

You guys think I'm joking about Brit Brit's outfits, but look at my goal that I wrote for work:

 

I ain't playin'.

 

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My First Blog for Allure. (Insert 12 yr Old Shrieking Here.)

Pic via Allure (Duh.)

Click here to go read my blog. So excited!



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And Now, for the Creepiest Thing I've Ever Written...

 I have a weird brain. These strange things just pop into my head at times, and I don't know where the eff they come from. If I lived in the 50's I'd probably be forced into having electroshock therapy right now.

The other day, I'm sitting around, and I think, "You know who I'd like to date? Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast."

That's my man.

I mean he's such a gentleman. You know he would be so accommodating. (Be our guest, and all that ish.) And that b is French! He's a butler (or something), so he can clean.

Lumiere is my number one pick of the NON-HUMAN DISNEY CHARACTERS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO DATE. (You can stop reading at any time. I know that there's something wrong with me.) Now before you call the FBI or something, I'm not talking about sexual weird crap. I don't need to be on My Strange Addiction. I'm not in love with the Eiffel Tower or anything. But...

Sexy.

My second pick is the Genie from Aladdin. He can grant you wishes, and has some badass gold bracelets I'd like to borrow. The con? He's voiced by Robin Williams. Um, nevermind. I don't want to date Mrs. Doubtfire...Or do I?

Yep, he's a bird.

My next non-human BF is Scuttle from The Little Mermaid. He's funny, and gives girls shiny presents. Actually, he might be a pimp. Be on alert.

Look at those tassels!

The last dude (?!?) on my list is the Magic Carpet from Aladdin. He can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. And the b can't talk. Are there any downsides?

Are you guys repulsed by me now? Or do you think that I missed someone (thing)? Please don't say something gross like the Tramp or Pinocchio. I can't even with that mess.



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