How To: Get Real Housewives Hair

An easy tutorial to get that wavy, housewivesy hair!



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Should I Be Scared?

I need to go bleach my skin.


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Clear EVERY-freakin'-THING from your DVR

SyFy has come up with another cinematic TV gem. I present to you the trailer of 'Jersey Shore Shark Attack.' This ish is quite a mess, and includes a cameo by Vinny from 'Jersey Shore.' (Of course it does.) Spoiler alert: Joey Fatone (yes, that Joey Fatone) gets eaten by a CGI shark that looks like it was created around Zelda's heyday.

Get your Emmy ballots out. I don't think we need to see anything more for the TV movie category. If that exists. And if it doesn't, it should. And if it does, this movie should get a lifetime achievement award.

 Because if anything deserves an award for creativity, it's a movie told from Joey Buttafuoco's point of view. That ish is a work of fantasy. But I will say:

Those b's are com-for-table.



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Another Day, Another C Stodd Post

In these new pics from Celebuzz, Hot Stoddy claims to go "makeup free" and pose in a bathtub. (But, no, seriously, America. This girl is UNDER 18. Where are you with your iced tea and cookies, Chris Hansen? Someone should be taking a seat.) Anyway, Court has never looked a) younger or b) prettier I can honestly say without a drop of snark.

BUT. BUT. BUT. Honey boo boo, you have makeup on. You are wearing roughly the same amount of makeup that an average (read: not a ridiculously over dramatic person like myself) woman would wear on a daily basis. I see foundation, brow pencil, mascara, and a little eyeshadow.

I applaud your understated look (minus the soapy tub shots), Courtney Stodden. But you can't play a player. I see you (and your makeup).



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4 Tips for Avoiding Makeup Meltdown (Keep Your Dang Face On!)

Let's be real. It's (or about to be) hot as ish outside. And hot, sweaty weather is the kryptonite to a hot makeup jobby job. But don't freak, there are some tips you can take to keep your face in place as much as possible, even when the temps are a b.

1. Prime Your Ish -- Take a step in the right direction by starting off your makeup routine with a primer. There are a ton of great ones to choose from like Laura Mercier's Radiance Primer or Smashbox Photo Finish Primer if your skin is normal. (P.S. Lucky you on that ish.) 

 If you're an oily beast like myself, I have another suggestion. This is how I "prime" before I apply liquid foundation.

MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus Foundation

This is technically a foundation in and of itself, but I'm ridiculous, so I use it before using my FOUNDATION foundation. It helps sop up some of the massive amounts of oil pouring forth from my pores.

2. Switch From Cream to Powder -- L.L. Cream Blush. (Sorry LL Cool J. I still love  you.) But when it's crazy steamy outside, it's time to switch to powder. Make it stay with a ride or die ingredient amazonian clay, like in Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush. It is claimed that the blush lasts 12 hours (which it doesn't on me), but it does last longer than any other blush I have used.

3. Waterproof it Up -- On the sweatiest of the sweaty days, or in crazy workout sessions, regular mascara might not cut it. Nothing's grosser than having the freaking mascara marks all over your upper eyelids. Not cute. In those extreme situations, only waterproof mascara will work. My favorite?

Lancome Hypnose Waterproof Mascara

BUT, word to your moms, don't use it every day. Waterproof mascara is drying to your lashes, so don't be an over-the-top b with this mess.

4. Spray It -- Use a setting spray as your last step in your makeup routine. It will help seal everything together and keep it TIGHT! It's like a hairspray for your face. There are a ton to choose from, including Urban Decay's All Nighter and MAC Fix +. But my favorite is one that I have been using for like six years.

Model in a Bottle Setting Spray

You can only buy it online, so get on it.

You are all set! (Get it? Har har.) Bring on the heat, b's. You got this ish.





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Fabio's Greatest Hits

I was thinking about Fabio last night, (Not in that way. Gross!) and I was wondering where that b has been hiding. So I compiled a batch of the best Fabio pictures I could find. And there are some beauts...

Fabio channels Amelia Earhart.

Fabio goes "wheeeeee"!

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Bear Skin Rug + Body Oil = Bleh

Are those fringed suede pants? I'd rather see them on the tiger.

I kind of want this outfit. Fabio's so fashion forward!

For some reason, when I was googling "Fabio" this cat kept popping up. Into it. This is the new Fabio.

P.S. I never realized how much Fabio's chest looks like two huge loaves of half-risen bread. Delish!





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Blogging Note:

I pinkie promise I will post more at latest tomorrow. I've been slightly skimpy lately, because I've been working my big girl job for the past several days. I'm a referee for a teen group that plays Dungeons and Dragons, and that ish has been INTENSE. (No, I'm totally not. But I wish I were!)

See you b's on the flip side.


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