I live blogged the Oscars, so if you're into boring stuff you can read it all after the jump. Wiggy and I won the award for "Biggest A-holes," in case you were wondering.
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Sunday, March 2, 2014
Live Blogging The Oscars: Why The Eff Not?
I live blogged the Oscars, so if you're into boring stuff you can read it all after the jump. Wiggy and I won the award for "Biggest A-holes," in case you were wondering.
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Saturday, March 1, 2014
Justin Bieber Shows Off His Ta Tas And Grabs His Crotch On Rolling Stone, Because He's A Bad Boy
But is it for life? Diddy wants to know. If so, lawsuit's in the mail.
Well, well. Looky what we have here. The Biebs on the cover of Rolling Stone, with nips ablaze and a dumb dumb expression pasted on his mug. I haven't read this write-up, but I kind of hope that it's just a blank page that says, "He's going through his terrible twos." End of article.
Other possibilities? He had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep in his 'big boy' bed.
No one's been reading him bedtime stories.
He had too much Language Arts homework to finish and couldn't watch cartoons.
He needs his ba ba.
He's been eating too much candy and his tummy hurts.
Any other theories?
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| via rolling stone |
Other possibilities? He had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep in his 'big boy' bed.
No one's been reading him bedtime stories.
He had too much Language Arts homework to finish and couldn't watch cartoons.
He needs his ba ba.
He's been eating too much candy and his tummy hurts.
Any other theories?
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Friday, February 28, 2014
I'll Pay For That: The 5 Beauty Products That I Straight Up Refuse To Live Without
It's no secret (or it shouldn't be if people are honest) that one of the boss b*tch things about blogging about beauty stuffs is that you get to try products and such for free a lot. I always tell your asses when this happens, and I only talk about sh*t that I legit like and would feel good about telling you to try. I would never suggest something that I think is actual sh*t, because I would feel like a big old bag o' asses doing that. I have sent many, many a email to peeps saying that I won't review/talk about their product because it didn't work for me, or I wouldn't use it on the reg.
That being said, I'm pretty comfortable with using a variety of products at any given time, and just snatching up whatever is in my beauty arsenal. There are a veritable sh*t-ton of shampoos, eyeliners, mascaras, lipsticks, blah, blah, blah, that are all perfectly great, and that I can use without issue and enjoy them all. But, there are a few beauty items that I just simply won't live my life without, and will find a way to own, always. You've probably heard me talk about most of these one billion times because, uh, I tell you everything. So, don't slap my face off or anything if some of this sounds redundant.
#1. Maybelline Expert Eyes Twin Brow & Eye Pencils in Blonde
Go ahead, release all of your "DUHHHHs" into the universe, because I'm always talking about these thangs. But when it comes to eyebrow pencils, I will never, ever, ever let these Maybelline Expert Eyes Brow Pencils in blonde go. And not in a half-assed, hold-on-for-14-more-seconds-Rose kind of way.
These mofos cost around $3, depending on where you buy your mess, but are worth even more to me than Brenda Walsh's b*tchiness. They have actual staying power, aren't waxy, and are a great ashy color that works for any brow color. (Ladies with darker skin tones, or want a bolder brow, top the pencil with a darker brow or matte eyeshadow color.)
#2. Latisse
Before I started using Latisse years ago, I was really scared to try it. I had seen a lot of people that had used it and had semi-crazy spider lashes, and it was just way too much for me. But here's the real deal -- when you first start using Latisse, you use it every night until you get to the lash length that you're all about. After that, you move on to the maintenance phase, which means you just use it a few times a week to keep your lashes that length. So you're in control of how crazy-lashed you look.
Another point of contention when it comes to Latisse? Sh*t's expensive, man. The regular retail price is $120 for a bottle that is supposed to last a month. (P.S. Look for Latisse deals in your local area, you can find it much, much cheaper.) In reality, a bottle typically lasts me at least six. I can stretch that sh*t to the max by the technique that I use to apply it. If you want to know how, email me. I won't post it on the interwebs because it's slightly shady when it comes to sterility and such, and I don't want erry'body getting pink eye. But the friend that taught me this application technique is a medical aesthetician, so it's not wildly inappropriate.
You can also buy a generic version of Latisse, called Careprost, to cut down on costs. I just ordered some online, and it costs about $35 after shipping, although it might be coming from Mars for legal reasons. I'm not going to post a link to purchase it, because it is a prescription product, and I'm no legal effin' eagle...
and I don't want to go to jail and sh*t for recommending something semi-illegal. It's probably not 100% legit, but I'm not sure. Google at your own risk.
Are you guys sick of me talking about PP yet? TOO BAD. I recommend this product to literally every single person I've ever talked to about makeup, both in real life and on the 'net. It makes your eyeshadow last all damn day, makes colors more vibrant, and doesn't allow those sneaky eyeshadow bastards to crease and get crazy.
Whenever I recommend Primer Potion I have people tell me that it's just too expensive for them, which I totally understand. Spending $20 on something that seems so unimportant in the scheme of things is tough to do. There are a couple of options on saving some dough on PP. You can always buy the travel size for $12. Because you use such a tiny amount, this baby-sized tube should still last you a really long time.
I also frequently find Primer Potion at places like Nordstrom Rack on discount, because Urban Decay changed the packaging a while back. So you can feel free to stock up on the old package types, and hoard the hell out of them. I SHALL NEVER RUN OUT. Muahahaha!
What beauty products do you guys refuse to live your lives without? Spill yo' sh*t!
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That being said, I'm pretty comfortable with using a variety of products at any given time, and just snatching up whatever is in my beauty arsenal. There are a veritable sh*t-ton of shampoos, eyeliners, mascaras, lipsticks, blah, blah, blah, that are all perfectly great, and that I can use without issue and enjoy them all. But, there are a few beauty items that I just simply won't live my life without, and will find a way to own, always. You've probably heard me talk about most of these one billion times because, uh, I tell you everything. So, don't slap my face off or anything if some of this sounds redundant.
#1. Maybelline Expert Eyes Twin Brow & Eye Pencils in Blonde
Go ahead, release all of your "DUHHHHs" into the universe, because I'm always talking about these thangs. But when it comes to eyebrow pencils, I will never, ever, ever let these Maybelline Expert Eyes Brow Pencils in blonde go. And not in a half-assed, hold-on-for-14-more-seconds-Rose kind of way.
These mofos cost around $3, depending on where you buy your mess, but are worth even more to me than Brenda Walsh's b*tchiness. They have actual staying power, aren't waxy, and are a great ashy color that works for any brow color. (Ladies with darker skin tones, or want a bolder brow, top the pencil with a darker brow or matte eyeshadow color.)
#2. Latisse
Before I started using Latisse years ago, I was really scared to try it. I had seen a lot of people that had used it and had semi-crazy spider lashes, and it was just way too much for me. But here's the real deal -- when you first start using Latisse, you use it every night until you get to the lash length that you're all about. After that, you move on to the maintenance phase, which means you just use it a few times a week to keep your lashes that length. So you're in control of how crazy-lashed you look.
Another point of contention when it comes to Latisse? Sh*t's expensive, man. The regular retail price is $120 for a bottle that is supposed to last a month. (P.S. Look for Latisse deals in your local area, you can find it much, much cheaper.) In reality, a bottle typically lasts me at least six. I can stretch that sh*t to the max by the technique that I use to apply it. If you want to know how, email me. I won't post it on the interwebs because it's slightly shady when it comes to sterility and such, and I don't want erry'body getting pink eye. But the friend that taught me this application technique is a medical aesthetician, so it's not wildly inappropriate.
You can also buy a generic version of Latisse, called Careprost, to cut down on costs. I just ordered some online, and it costs about $35 after shipping, although it might be coming from Mars for legal reasons. I'm not going to post a link to purchase it, because it is a prescription product, and I'm no legal effin' eagle...
and I don't want to go to jail and sh*t for recommending something semi-illegal. It's probably not 100% legit, but I'm not sure. Google at your own risk.
#3. Beauty Blender
Because my skin is a big ol' pile of poo, covering imperfections with foundation/concealer ranks high on my list of beauty priorities. I don't really remember my life before using the Beauty Blender, but it was probably also a pile of poo. Okay, enough about poo.
If you aren't that familiar with this little pink egg, it's a reusable makeup sponge that you use while damp. It's kind of pricey (like $20 per sponge), but they really last forever if you wash it on the reg. I've tried other cheaper brands that are of a similar idea, but none stack up to this little b*tch. It applies foundations and concealers evenly, and prevents your makeup from looking cakey. This just generally prevents the look of hot messiness on your mug.
#4. Clarisonic Mia
Listen, I know that Clarisonic products aren't cheap. But I got my Mia as a gift from my mom over three years ago, and homie is still going strong, so it's not a bad investment for $100. The only differences in the MIA and the full-sized (AKA more expensive) Clarisonics are the lack of ability to change the brush speed and you can't use a body brush on the OG Mia. No biggie smalls.
There are drugstore brands of face brushes out there, but I have to admit that I've never used them. The big difference is that the drugstore brushes have spinning heads, while the Clarisonic uses sonic vibrations to cleanse the skin. If you want more science-y deets, you can read more here. All I know is that if I go on an absent-minded bender and forget to use this baby for a period of time my skin is like, "What the eff, guess I'll just break out even more now. You're welcome." My skin is an a-hole, part 40938.
#5. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion
Because my skin is a big ol' pile of poo, covering imperfections with foundation/concealer ranks high on my list of beauty priorities. I don't really remember my life before using the Beauty Blender, but it was probably also a pile of poo. Okay, enough about poo.
If you aren't that familiar with this little pink egg, it's a reusable makeup sponge that you use while damp. It's kind of pricey (like $20 per sponge), but they really last forever if you wash it on the reg. I've tried other cheaper brands that are of a similar idea, but none stack up to this little b*tch. It applies foundations and concealers evenly, and prevents your makeup from looking cakey. This just generally prevents the look of hot messiness on your mug.
#4. Clarisonic Mia
Listen, I know that Clarisonic products aren't cheap. But I got my Mia as a gift from my mom over three years ago, and homie is still going strong, so it's not a bad investment for $100. The only differences in the MIA and the full-sized (AKA more expensive) Clarisonics are the lack of ability to change the brush speed and you can't use a body brush on the OG Mia. No biggie smalls.
There are drugstore brands of face brushes out there, but I have to admit that I've never used them. The big difference is that the drugstore brushes have spinning heads, while the Clarisonic uses sonic vibrations to cleanse the skin. If you want more science-y deets, you can read more here. All I know is that if I go on an absent-minded bender and forget to use this baby for a period of time my skin is like, "What the eff, guess I'll just break out even more now. You're welcome." My skin is an a-hole, part 40938.
#5. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion
Are you guys sick of me talking about PP yet? TOO BAD. I recommend this product to literally every single person I've ever talked to about makeup, both in real life and on the 'net. It makes your eyeshadow last all damn day, makes colors more vibrant, and doesn't allow those sneaky eyeshadow bastards to crease and get crazy.
Whenever I recommend Primer Potion I have people tell me that it's just too expensive for them, which I totally understand. Spending $20 on something that seems so unimportant in the scheme of things is tough to do. There are a couple of options on saving some dough on PP. You can always buy the travel size for $12. Because you use such a tiny amount, this baby-sized tube should still last you a really long time.
I also frequently find Primer Potion at places like Nordstrom Rack on discount, because Urban Decay changed the packaging a while back. So you can feel free to stock up on the old package types, and hoard the hell out of them. I SHALL NEVER RUN OUT. Muahahaha!
What beauty products do you guys refuse to live your lives without? Spill yo' sh*t!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Getting Married
I don't know about you, but I'm all for these tabby cats marrying each other. They're both hot, they seem like they kind of hate everything, and they like wearing matching outfit. It's no Justin and Britney denim moment, but whatever.
I mean, if Ashton saw a human wearing those denim capris with a single, solitary pocket and didn't hit it and then quit it forever, then that sh*t is true love. Plus, I'm sure she's seen Dude, Where's My Car?, so she totally has a forgiving heart.
Congratu-effin-lations, you two sexy ass pieces of dry toast. (P.S. Dry toast is all you'll be able to eat for two weeks after watching that gif.)
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Homeboy From Felicity Is Getting Nakey To Sell Your Ass Some Towels
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| via people |
I'm not familiar with this brand because I buy my sh*t (linens, if you're fancy) from Target and TJ Maxx clearance sections, and I'm not about that life. So, instead, let's just focus on the semi-nakey dude times.
Okay, okay. He's cute. And that blanket's pretty dope.
My night cheese (and wine) wouldn't kick that blanket out of bed for being too luxurious.
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Wednesday, February 26, 2014
The Greatest Moments Of Judgement In The Downton Abbey Finale
The finale of "Downton Abbey" was this week, and overall it was pretty damn adorable and full of feel goods. But don't be fooled, there were still a ton of judgey-faced moments to relish. Let's re-live them all together after the jump.
(Obvs, some light spoilers ahead if you haven't watched.)
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Tuesday, February 25, 2014
BEAUTY EMERGENCY: Desert Time, And The Livin' Ain't Easy
I came to a sudden realization the other day: I legit live in the desert. I was riding ATVs with my family, who were visiting, and as I was sitting there, covered in effin' dust from head to toe, it hit me like a ton of cacti. I LIVE IN A DESERT, FOR REAL. For real, for real.
I didn't really think that my (beauty) life would be that different coming to Arizona from Florida. I mean they're both hot, right? What a damn fool. I've had to switch up my beauty game A LOT to make up for this desert-dwelling life that I'm currently living. If you're a denizen of the badlands (or just need to get your hydration station on) keep reading, and we'll make it through this madness together.
"MYYYY EYEZZZ," is typically how my balls (eye type) feel when I'm just existing in this crazy, low-humidity mecca. So eye drops are a mega mf-ing factor in my current beauty routine. And, of course, my high maintenance ass can't just have some run-of-the mill eye drops for basic b*tches. I like a little something that burns a bit, like getting slapped in the eyeballs by a miniature telenovela star wearing black satin elbow-length gloves. But, you know, still gets the red out.
That's where cooling eye drops come in. I've always liked Rhoto Cool Eye Drops for my eyeball burning and brightening needs, but after going to four stores searching for them and coming up empty-handed, I googled and found out that they have been temporarily recalled. So I found the next best thing in Clear eyes Cooling Comfort Redness Relief, which I found to be essentially the same. They burn like hell, and it feels so good.
Moisturize Every-damn-thang
Oh, hey, have I mentioned it's dry in this b*tch? I have hordes of ulta-moisturizing prods that I've accumulated over the years, but I've never really had much use for them, due to my horrible oily skin. But guess what? How the tables have turned...Not only am I still dealing with my glorious adult acne, but I've also started getting flaky, dry skin. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?
So to cope with this latest turn of event, I've found an arsenal of products to keep my mug lubed to the max. (Gross.) For my nightly moisturizing needs, I am really enjoying the deep moisturizing benefits of CLINIQUE Moisture Surge Intense For Very Dry To Dry Combination Skin. It's oil-free and kind of like a gel-type texture, so I don't feel like I've been pied in the face with a heavy cream pie after applying it.
I really need to use a heavier eye cream here, too, and I'm into RoC Multi-Correxion Lift Anti-Gravity Night Cream for that. It supposedly "lifts" your eye area, which I don't know about all of that sorcery, but it's really moisturizing and soaks in nicely. I don't feel like the foot of a crow has firmly imprinted itself upon my eyes, so, so far it's aces.
When it comes to that easier-to-dry-out-than-beef-jerky-in-a-food-dehydrator lip area, I'm full-on obsessed with Korres Lip Butter in Guava. It's straight heavenly, yo. It's buttery (duh), tastes really good, and it doesn't feel oily or weird. Pretty much, it makes me feel like I have rich lady lips.
Put a Tan (and Some SPF) On It
I'm mos def an indoor cat, which leads to my pallid skin tone and dire need for sunless tanner-tinged lotions. Also, the sun is strong and bright as a mofo here, so daily SPF is a must for when I'm walking to the mailbox, or something. This Jergens Natural Glow & Protect Daily Moisturizer with SPF 20 covers all of those necessary bases, and is easy as sh*t to use -- you just slap it on like your garden variety bod lotion and keep it moving to twitter stalking people, or whatever your daily life entails.
Oh, hey, have I mentioned it's dry in this b*tch? I have hordes of ulta-moisturizing prods that I've accumulated over the years, but I've never really had much use for them, due to my horrible oily skin. But guess what? How the tables have turned...Not only am I still dealing with my glorious adult acne, but I've also started getting flaky, dry skin. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?
So to cope with this latest turn of event, I've found an arsenal of products to keep my mug lubed to the max. (Gross.) For my nightly moisturizing needs, I am really enjoying the deep moisturizing benefits of CLINIQUE Moisture Surge Intense For Very Dry To Dry Combination Skin. It's oil-free and kind of like a gel-type texture, so I don't feel like I've been pied in the face with a heavy cream pie after applying it.
I really need to use a heavier eye cream here, too, and I'm into RoC Multi-Correxion Lift Anti-Gravity Night Cream for that. It supposedly "lifts" your eye area, which I don't know about all of that sorcery, but it's really moisturizing and soaks in nicely. I don't feel like the foot of a crow has firmly imprinted itself upon my eyes, so, so far it's aces.
When it comes to that easier-to-dry-out-than-beef-jerky-in-a-food-dehydrator lip area, I'm full-on obsessed with Korres Lip Butter in Guava. It's straight heavenly, yo. It's buttery (duh), tastes really good, and it doesn't feel oily or weird. Pretty much, it makes me feel like I have rich lady lips.
Put a Tan (and Some SPF) On It
I'm mos def an indoor cat, which leads to my pallid skin tone and dire need for sunless tanner-tinged lotions. Also, the sun is strong and bright as a mofo here, so daily SPF is a must for when I'm walking to the mailbox, or something. This Jergens Natural Glow & Protect Daily Moisturizer with SPF 20 covers all of those necessary bases, and is easy as sh*t to use -- you just slap it on like your garden variety bod lotion and keep it moving to twitter stalking people, or whatever your daily life entails.
Nude-y Show Nails
I'm pretty much living in a big ass dusty ass dust bowl, and that does NOT bode well in the mani department. Goth nails in shades of black and deep burgundy (my go-to favorites) will be covered in dust in, like, 3.47 seconds, so picking a nude-ish shades like Deborah Lippmann's Human Nature or Floss Gloss' Tanlines is a boss b*tch decision. Plus, you'll have total mannequin hands. Everyone wins.
Disclaimer: Some of these items were given to me as press samples, and some were purchased by my broke ass. Pin It
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