OMG, you guys. I felt like this day would never come. It's my soul sister, Courtney Stodden's, 18th Birthday! (Yes, in human years. Don't go there.) So she obvi talked to E! News about this monumental occasion, and here's what she got for her big day:
It's an Italian Greyhound named...Dourtney. What? That's totally normal. I once had a dog that I somewhat ambiguously named Dannon, after myself, and then a yogurt company totally stole that ish from me. (Spoiler alert -- that never, ever happened.) Well if you're going to pick a name from singing the Name Game song about yourself, it really could be worse. At least it's not Fourtney. Or Mourtney.
So Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people in the world. I don't even know what my life would be like without you. Cue the playing of Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You. (No, don't.) Now that Hot Stoddy is 18, we can look forward to an ish-load more of this kind of thing:
TMZ broke the exciting news (to me) that Lifetime is currently casting a movie depicting the life of Anna Nicole Smith. So, YES to that news. I love a tawdry ass Lifetime movie. Is there anything better? Here are my picks for to play this, ahem, interesting cast of characters.
Anna Nicole Smith --
My picks for Anna Nicole are Amanda Bynes as young AN, and Lilo as the older. And if you don't agree with me on this one, then...
Howard K. Stern -- In case you aren't completely up to date on Anna's daily life (What have you been doing???) Howard was ANS's long time lawyer and maybe lover (gross) and fake baby daddy.
I think that Michael Richards, aka Kramer from Seinfeld would be a great Howard. He's like a good 20 years older, but whatevs, it's fine.
Anna's son, Daniel --
Derek Hough from Dancing with the Stars is a pretty damn close match to AN's son, Daniel. I don't even know if he's really an actor, and he would have to do a little brow maintenance, but that ish is on point.
P.S. When I was googling to find a picture of Daniel, the FIRST picture that came up was a picture of his dead body. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE? Is that what we're doing now??? The answer is no, we are not.
J. Howard Marshall -- This was that old homeboy that Anna married when she was like 20 and he was like 2840329.
If Herbert from Family Guy isn't a dead ringer for J. Howard, I don't know who the eff is. Ol' Herbs is clearly a cartoon, so maybe they could work a little Roger Rabbit magic on this piece.
E. Pierce Marshall -- J. Howard's son, who fought AN in court forever because she wanted homie's money. (Whaaaaaat?)
I think George W. Bush is a shoe in to play this dude. They're both from Texas, and let's be real -- old white guys pretty much look the same. My dad is also a good candidate.
Larry Birkhead -- Dude was a paparazzi, Anna's REAL baby daddy, and always seemed somewhat douchey. (Seriously, the movie is going to be so freakin' awesome.)
Larry HAS to be played by Keith Urban. They are total chunky highlight twinsies.
Will you guys be watching this trainwreck of a TV movie? Please believe, I will be calling into work the next day, because this ish will be parrr-tayyy time at my house. Do you have any better ideas of casting for these hoes? Let's discuss this mess.
Thanks to Sara for emailing me this hot mess and forcing me to write about it.
I am not shy about my super love for Honey Boo Boo's sassy ass. Go over to Allure and read my blog on how her kiddie pageantry inspires real-life beauty inspiration.
I saw a picture of Boy Meets World's Rider Strong the other day, randomly, and found that he is now pretty sexual.
Right??? He's all facial hair-y and probably still a smug little b. So that prompted me to find the other boys from the show and see how they are looking these days.
Okay, so he still (pretty much) looks the same; like a mini Fred Savage. EXCEPT that Fred Savage starred in this little gem:
OBESSION IS DEADLY, you guys. Effing deadly. One of the top five best Lifetime Movies, trust.
So that leaves us with the older brother, that I always thought was one of the Lawrence brothers for some reason. In reality, his name is Will Friedle and here he is:
Okay, clearly not a Lawrence brother. Because THIS is what Joey Lawrence now looks like:
pic via radar online
Well hello, there. Score one for team Lawr Bro. (And Rider Strong.)
I don't really know what my deal is lately with True Blood. I just feel a whole big ass "No Comment." about it. So this week, I just took pictures of random ish that seemed to interest me. Sorry. How you realized I'm s*tty about everything yet? Get with the program.
