The Best Part of Waking Up is Richard Simmons in Yo' Cup

all pics via buzzfeed

Nothing screams, "Eff yeah, LIFE!" like a Richard Simmons collage. I love this b so much, that I wish I were him on the daily. How can you look at a picture of a man wearing huge craft balls glued to his person and not scream, "YAAAAAAAAASSSSS!" in your heart? But that outfit reminds me of something...

I'm not even going to ask "Who wore it better?" because, b please. My Simms has CURLING GIFT RIBBON on his glasses. That wins every time. Pshaw, Nicki Minaj. I bid you good day.



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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Keanu Reeves' Turrible, Turrible Facial Hair

pic via celebitchy

Keanu Reeves is a hot ho, but homeboy is pushing the damn limits in this b. That facial hair looks like he shaved a nutria and glued its hair on his face, and not even particularly well. That ish is NOT an effin' complement.

I haven't seen a beard this bad since Justin Timberlake's neckbeard of circa '07.

That crap made rage boil inside my veins. Don't look surprised, Timberlake. You know you look like a friggin' asshat. Gross beards are the Devil's playground, and that is my public service announcement for dudes that are fighting the hot. Clean it up, fellas. Not. Cute. And for that, Keanu, you and your old timey hobo beard are the GUUUURL of the day.

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Donald Draper Brings the Hardcore Sexy...In Short Shorts.

pic via buzzfeed

Look at Jon Hamm with dem daisy dukes on, evvvverybody!



The Hammburgler is obviously filming for Mad Men, and this is not his reg bathing costume attire. I don't even care if he wears this ish as a swim suit, I'd still be into it.

Jon Hamm's ass can do no wrong in my book.

 

You do you, boo.

 

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Get Out Your Pen and Paper -- Your Holiday Wish List Will Start Here.

You. Guys. There are collectable Jem and the Holograms dolls coming out! And look how badass they are. (Except for the fact that Jem is being assaulted by the doll stand. Yikes.) But besides that...

via mrhankey

And the Jem dolls don't stop there. You can also get boring ass Jerrica.

Or for the dude in your life, Rio. (Who is wearing pantent leather boat shoes.)

You can also get Synergy or "Classic" Jem (AKA pink pleather dress) if that's more your bag. If you are a rich b, you can see where to buy this mess here. By the way, these hoes are $125 each, so you might have to sell your vintage collection of The Babysitters Club to afford this. WWCD? (What would Claudia do? That was my b.)



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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Atreyu From The Neverending Story All Growed Up

pic via buzzfeed

You w's know that The Neverending Story is my perpetual jam. So I'm going to make this little ditty fast, because I went to a spin class (Shut up, I do stuff sometimes.) and I have actually take a shower. Being a grown up can suck it, seriously. Anyway, the cat with the chunky highlight and the gun show is (kind of) current day kid that played Atreyu TNS. Yep. There he is. Mmmmkay.

In other news, I hope he got to keep that sweet, sweet snake pendant necklace. I've been trying to buy one like that for like 20 years. And you know he kept that tunic and still wears it. I can see it in his arched eyebrow.



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Random Homie: Redken for Men Clean Brew Extra Cleansing Shampoo

I'm into a dude (shampoo). Here's how it happened. Redken sent me a sample of their Clean Brew shampoo, and after my husband's diva ass refused to try it, I decided to give it a go on my own dirty mop. From Redken:

"Anti grit technology, with a premium blend of malt, brewer’s yeast and orange zest, intensely cleanses to eliminate dirt and oil while helping to purify the scalp."

I thought to myself, "Yep, I need all of that ish. I'm grossly dirty and oily." So I used it, like any boss b would, and I haven't looked back. I like to use this shampoo once or twice a week to get rid of all of my oily/dirty mess. I follow it up with a a semi-deep (Heh.) conditioner, and my hair is like an effin' dream. It smells like a boy, but that doesn't bother me in the least. Clean dudes smell good, right?

I will caution ladies with vibrantly dyed/fragile/dry hair from using this. It could eff up your world. But if you're oily or use a lot of styling products, jump on the dude shampoo clarifying train. There's plenty of room on board for all of us broads. Toot toot!

If you're into it, you can purchase here for about $14.




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BREAKING NEWS: Tracy Morgan (Jordan) Has a Shark Tank

Tracy Morgan on WhoSay

AND IT IS ENCASED IN A FAUX SHARK MOUTH. What would Liz Lemon say about this?

via fakezombieseagoon

Yep. That about sums it up.


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