NSFCHB (Not Safe for Cold Hearted B's)

This is a clip from Night of Too Many Stars, which airs on Comedy Central on Sunday, and is an Autism benefit featuring different celebrities doing stuff (I'm such a prolific writer). The video is a duet of Katy Perry and Jodi DiPiazza, who is a child with Autism, singing Firework while Jodi plays the piano. This ish is touching as hell, so don't watch it if you want to retain your b face status at work (or wherever -- I'm not up in your life like that) today. But seriously, watch it. It's sweet as a mofo.

Okay, b face reactivated.

via huffington post



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Where's My Dirty B, and Who is This Imposter?!?

pic via daily mail

This is ALLEGEDLY a picture of Ke$ha, but I'm calling shenanigans on that mess. I mean, her lady flower is covered up with fabric that isn't made from fishnet! She's wearing a BUTTONED UP COLLAR! HER HAIR IS FRESHLY LAUNDERED! She has an effin' blow out. No, this is not Ke$ha. This isn't even Kesha. I think that this is Stephanie Pratt from The Hills.

AmIright? Someone hurry and get Ke$ha some glitter before this ish gets out of hand. Is there a glitter and dirt shortage right now? Maybe that would explain it. I officially look 250% dirtier than Ke$ha right now. What is happening???



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Ready or Not...

pic via wyclef's twitter

When the Fugees were singing that song, this is NOT what I had in mind. Yesterday was Wyclef Jean's 43rd birthday, and this is how he celebrated -- posing for his own Wyclef + Motorcycles + Baby Oil = Hey Sexy (or not) 2013 Calendar. He's taking pre-orders now, people. Get enough for everyone you know, will be selling like cold cakes.

We are not ready for your jelly, Wyclef. Not ready. It's too much.


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Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

pic via allure

It's Fall, b*tches! To me that means I am trying to be all natural and ish, and stop using self tanner. Go over to Allure and read how to embrace yo' pale and tips to get Fall hot.


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So I'm a Little Late to This Ballgame...

I have to say that I am a little biased when it comes to reviewing anything Urban Decay. I live and die for the UD Primer Potion. Period. And I kind of never shut up about it. Move on with business. I also use my Naked Palette almost every damn day. So I was curious about the Smoked Palette that came out a few months ago, and I begged the peeps over at Urban Decay so let me try it.

I like the fact that some of the shadows are matte. I like a palette with a little diversity, ya' heard? And it also comes with a mini Primer Potion (Score, b*tches!) and a full size 24/7 Eye Pencil in Perversion, which I already bought on its own a while back, and have since almost used completely. I love that b, too. It stays on like a mofo.

So here are all of the shadows (and the liner, which is like the blackest black in the world or something). I really like all of the colors. The jewel tones aren't bright or garish, so you won't look like Rainbow Brite assaulted you, or anything. I probably won't use Evidence, the navy-ish, just because blues aren't really my bag. But I have been using the neutrals almost every day for my normal, daytime look and just not using a ton of product. And Loaded, the green-ish color, is super pretty and is almost a gun metal-y green.

Overall, I'm totally co-signing on this beast. If you want to check it out for yourself, you can purchase for $49 at Urban Decay. Get that ish smokin'!


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Obligatory Halloween Post: Crap That Scared Me When I Was a Kid

I effing love Halloween. I love scary ish, costumes, when stuff gets weird -- all of it is awesome to me. And I've always been this way.

Oh, who's that badass witch, complete with wig and possible brown face (yikes)? Yup, that's me. I go all out, even at five. I really tried to find a picture of the year when I dressed up as a birthday cake and made my costume, but it's mysteriously missing. Count yourself lucky.

Anyway, I always loved scary crap, whether it happened around Halloween or not. I LOVED Roald Dahl as a kid, and The Witches was one of my favorite books. And the movie was my total jam, but that ish was scary.

Am I right, or what? Anjelica Huston is a lovely woman, but that b horrified me when I was a kid. A couple of years later, I got into Christopher Pike/RL Stine books. (And don't come to me with that Goosebumps garbage.)

I read so friggin' many of these books in late elementary/middle school. They were all based around teenaged kids with secrets and crap. I can't really remember, but I feel like they were scary versions of Swan's Crossing.



EDIT: I just remember that I WROTE a Christopher Pike-esque book in middle school. It was horrible. (Clearly.)

But something that really scared the ish out of me was Are You Afraid of the Dark?



The sad part is that I was TOO OLD TO BE SCARED OF THIS MESS. I remember CRYING over an episode about a ghost and couldn't sleep, and I was like 15. That is not even appropriate. I am so dumb.



What were you guys scared of when you were kids? I'm still scared of ghosts. Homey don't play that mess.


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An Open Plea to Whoever is Doing Muh Boo, Brit Brit's Makeup.

Let me start by saying this -- I am a ride or die Britney Spears fan. I will cut a b if she talks trash about my boo. So this hurts, but it comes from a good place. I caught Brit on X Factor (don't ask) the other night, and this is what I saw on my 19" TV/VCR combo set.

And this is why I need some contact info on whoever is doing my homegirl's makeup. WHERE ARE YOUR EYEBROWS, MIZZ SPEARS??? I have a suspicion that Britney has been bleaching her brows for the past several years. Because this is what they used to look like.

Hey, there. You look approximately 29384032984 times better with some eyebrows on your damn face, baby. Just lemme pencil them in. Just the tip (of the brow pencil). And please, please take of the choker/thin chain necklaces. We've been trying this look since the dark days of Brit Bootgate in '07.

 Remember those cloven beasts straight from Hell that she wore EVERY DAMN DAY? Okay, okay. I need to calm down. Just let the nice makeup people pencil your eyebrows in. I'm so proud of your ass, though. You're doing great, boo boo.




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