Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Oh, Snap. Get My Brown Lip Liner and Frosted Lipstick Back, STAT.

Word on the (beauty) street is that chocolate nails are back for fall. To which I say, been there, done that, got the long ass acrylic nails to prove it. (Well, not the actual nails. That would be disgusting. I have the PICTURES to prove it.)


Let's get a closer look at those hot, hot talons of late 90's sexy.


Woooooow. (Flavor Flav voice -- I that even a slightly relevant reference? Nope, not at all.) So, I'm not sure if I'm to jump all up on this bandwagon yet, but I did find some great polishes to kick off the chocolate rain craze.

butter London in Tramp Stamp, $14
Essie in Chocolate Cakes, $8
NYX in Matte Chocolate Brown, about $6
Will you guys try chocolate nails again? Or did you get your fill (har, har) of the choco trend back in the day?



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Monday, August 13, 2012

People are Doing Crap to Their Hair, Again. (Plus Cyrus Family Music That's Really Friggin' the Business.)

As I'm sure all of you h's have seen, My Cy (aka Miley Cyrus) cut that hurrr. Here's a collage that I made of some of her Twitter pictures, because I am a twelve year old girl.


Now, here's the thing. I like it. She's young, and this is the time to do this crap. She looks like a sexual(ish) Susan Powter.


With a tiny dash of Kate Gosselin.


Remember THAT haircut? That was tragic. But I'm totally into MC's hair. I'm jealous that I can't pull off that mess. But Miley's not the only b in the game that's switching up that rug. Mizz Christina Aguilera also rode that pony.

pic via US Weekly
This, on the other hand, I am not into.  It's just TOO MUCH. Especially for someone of her age. Now I'm not saying b is OLD, but we're the same age. I'm immature as a mofo, and I consider myself about seven years too old to do this jazz. And it's all just a little...Um...(Porny.) But that's a good look! (If that's your thing. And if so, play on, player.)

In another twist of events that turns the tables back to the Cyrus family, I have a new jam, and it's by a band that includes Miley Cyrus' older sister. The band's called Frank + Derol, and the song is called "Barely Love You Too." Click below to download that ish fo' free. You have nothing to lose, and it's seriously freaking the bee's knees. Just download it, and wear out your repeat dealy deal. You are welcome.






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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Randy Travis Got Busted for Getting Crunk and Driving While...

pic via E! News
NAKEY! I normally wouldn't even write about a country singer, just because it's not really my deal at the moment, but B WAS NAKED AND CRASHED HIS CAR. How does that happen? But he apparently was wearing a hat, because the picture above is ol' Ran Ran leaving the slammer in some papery scrub deals, barefoot, and WEARING A HAT. You would think that one would at least throw a thong on before climbing behind the wheel. Damn, I'll have what he's having. ALLEGEDLY.

P.S. If he was drinking Arbor Mist, I can die a happy woman.




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Lazy Blogging: Go Read Something That I Already Wrote

pic via Allure
I don't expect you guys to read 99.9% of the ish that I write. I mean most of it is complete and utter nonsense. But, please go read what I wrote for my Allure blog this week. If you don't remember all of this mess, I don't even know you anymore.



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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

True Blood Musings: I Think the Wardrobe B's are Effing With Us.


So, this happened this week. I can't even handle 90% of what my eyes saw this week. Let's get this over with...

JUMP!!!

UPDATE: Holy eff, you guys. This b stole Honey Boo Boo's jam.


Mind = blown. I think I just saw the future.

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Unicorn Tears? I Don't Know How This Ish Works, But It's the Sauce.

I have been using something pretty damn fantastic for a while now, and I haven't said a word about it. I'm sh*tty, I know. But sometimes when it comes to skincare-type stuff, I do the whole "I need to really give this stuff a fair shake if I'm going to REALLY review it." That turns into using something for roughly 927429874 days and forgetting to even share with you b's. Yep, that's how I roll. I see a glitter eyeliner, and everything goes to hell in a friggin' hand basket.

image via Sephora
This is Cleansing Spa Water from Koh Gen Do, which can be purchased from Sephora. They sent me some to try, along with a description of what the deal is with this "water."

"It is made with the thermal water from Yumura Hot Springs in Izumo, Japan. Where pure water, rich with skin-absorbing nutrients, replenishes and rejuvenates as it cleanses. White Birch Sap, harvested only three weeks in early spring, contributes an abundance of minerals and xylitol as it lifts off makeup, oils and residue. No washing or rinsing required! Perfectly convenient for on-location makeup artists and busy on-the-go women. Oil-free. Alcohol-free. Safe for contact lens wearers.
Infused with six essential herbs to protect and nurture skin."


Sounds weird/like this mess is just vitamin water or something, right? Well lemme tell you something, this stuff is the cat's pajamas. I was using whatever pre-moistened cleansing/makeup remover wipes before these, and I always got some rashy-type business if I didn't wash my face right after. But I've been using this stuff for a couple of months now, and my skin is looking the best it's looked in a loooong time -- which isn't saying a whole lot, my skin sucks, but it's good for MY skin. (I'm also using some new skincare products but I'll get to that another time.) I like to wipe my makeup off my entire face with this stuff, then wash my face with my Clarisonic. It's friggin' boss, trust.

Oh, but the magic doesn't end there. I have also found ANOTHER new love of my life (I'm a w when it comes to this stuff. Don't you "no doy" me.) I begged the people at Mally Beauty to let me sample the Poreless Face Defender, and after much stalking, they allowed me to.
pic via Beauty.com
Let me be real with you, I have no idea how this stuff works. Here's what the Mally peeps have to say about it:


"Mally's Evercolor Poreless Face Defender is the perfect finishing touch for your makeup. This remarkable technology yields an utterly sheer, featherweight product that diffuses the look of pores, minimizes fine lines, and helps protect your makeup so it lasts from morning to night. Face Defender gives you that flawless matte finish without the dry, ashy look of powder. The result is silky smooth skin and longer-lasting makeup. It comes with a unique buffed-edge Japanese sponge."

It feels like a gel, but isn't sticky or anything on your face. And I don't get the muddiness that I always get a few hours after using a translucent powder with this stuff. One of my co-workers even said that I looked less oily after all day at work, and I hadn't blotted ONCE. (Which is some serious ish in my world.) There's also a video from Mally herself on how to use it. My only issue with the Face Defender is that the sponge doesn't have a little nook to go into in the compact. I've just kept the box it came with so far, but as soon as I spill water/perfume/tea in my purse (yes, that happens frequently), it's curtains on that b. If you want to try it for yourself, you can purchase on beauty.com for $40.

Okay, I'm done David Copperfielding your makeup bag for now. I'm no damn scientist (obviously), but I know the good good when I find it, and these two are magically delicious all up on yo' face!

pic via buzzfeed
Now it's back to business, hooligans!





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Monday, August 6, 2012

I've Been Listening to a Helluva Lot of SWV...


And I think I sound pretty, pretty good with the harmonizing, ladies. And don't worry, I've created an alternate album cover.


I'm pretty sure I've got this in the bag. Email me.



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