PTL. Something Cheap That Works Like a MoFo. (Or at Least a Mo. Or a Fo.)

By this time, if you know ANY effin' THING about me, you know a couple of things: I am an oily, oily ass b, and I love some cheapness. But I really hate when something is cheap and doesn't work. I have a freakin' crap load of junk that falls into that category.

On the oily tip, I feel like I have tried almost every dry shampoo out there. From cheap to expensive, powder that you shake on to spray nonsense, I've tried it all. Back in the day, when my hair was so blonde that it was pretty much white, baby powder was my jam. I mean it's made to absorb moisture. Bam! Done. But now that my hair is dark, that ish is completely out the window. Don't even attempt that mess, you will look like a trashy attempt at a George Washington costume. Not good. Back to the point, I have yet to find a dry shampoo in all of my explorations that really does a bomb ass job. I'm usually served up with a big ol' helping of "meeeeeh," with a large side of still oily hair.

Which brings me to a few weeks ago. One of my friends, who feels my oily/dark hair/every dry shampoo sucks pains let me know that she had found a winner in the dry shampoo. Enter Salon Grafix Invisible Dry Shampoo:

You can buy it pretty much anywhere, from Walmart to Target to Walgreens (or wherever the eff) and it's about $6 or $7. I was pretty "b please" about it before I tried it, because usually these 'invisible' dry shampoos are: a) not invisible, and b) don't friggin' work. But I have to say, I was impressed by this lil' dude. I read some of the low reviews on Amazon, and I have to put this out there -- don't spray it on the ends of your hair if you want your hair to be soft and shiny. SPRAY IT ON YO' ROOTS, PEOPLE. I actually took some before and after pictures of my three day unwashed gross hair. Those of you with a weak stomach, avert your eyes.

Not bad. I wouldn't win even World's Ugliest Dog beauty pageant or anything, but much, much better. One and a half thumbs up! (If you are of normal oily levels, this will be your new b.)




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True Blood Musings: They Can't All Be Blood Fests...

The highlight of the show this week was LaLa's head wrap/earring/eyelash combo. Love it. Let's talk about the rest of this week's snooze fest-ish episode.

Jump that ish!


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Weirdest Beauty Review to Write...

It's no secret up in these parts that I am a True Blood fan. So I was super excited when HSN sent me their fragrance inspired by True Blood, Forsaken, to try. But here's the rub: How the eff do you even review a perfume? Like how can I describe a smell to you? I don't know ish about "fragrance notes" or whatever. I feel like that's something that a sommelier or something would know about. Or maybe Heather from the Real Housewives of OC. She's fancy.

See, I don't even know what the hell bergamot is. Sigh.

So, let me give my amateurish, I-wore-Sunflowers-for-a-long-ass-time review. It smells really good. Okay, see you guys later! No. It has a slightly muskier, darker, sexy vanilla-ish smell. It smells like a sexy vampire. Like how Pam might smell, for instance. Like "I might devour you, or I might let you live." I'm totally into it. Like this:

Minus the Herve Leger dress, plus vanilla. The entire True Blood collection is available for purchase only on HSN August 9th. You can see for your self what this potion smells of. Or Heather, help me.






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And My "That Dude's Hot" Shame Spiral Hits a New Low.

I came across this article on I'm Not Obsessed, which contained this photograph of young Justin Bieber. Don't worry, I'm not about to go all, "Justin Beiber is hot now." No, he's not. BUT, I was like, "Who is that slightly trashy, Liev Schreiber's less attractive brother looking, jorts wearing, hot man with Lady Biebs?"

Pic via Imnotobesessed.com

Holy ish, you guys. THAT'S J. BIEBS DAD. It's not Kevin Federline's hotter cousin. Ugh. I'm old. And completely gross. I'm going to bury my disgust in cupcakes and wine wine cooler (more appropriate). It's 8:45 where I live right now. IDGAF.

Update: Because I'm weird, I couldn't stop thinking about 'Lady Beibs', and I really think that Justin Bieber should make a cameo on Downton Abbey. This is what it might look like.

I'm done. Happy Friday, b faces.




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My Strange Addiction: Hair Color Edition

I'm weird. (I know, no ish on that one.) But one of my weirdest quirks comes to my treatment of hair dye. I have a horrible habit of having a boss b as a hair stylist, and then deciding that I should dye my own sh*t. I don't know what the eff my deal is. I'm an a-hole.

In my quest to be the world's worst hair client, I have tried just about every home hair dye out there, from the cheap mess to Sally Beauty Supply "professional" stuff. I'm surprised I haven't melted my own face off at this point. I stopped by the ol' Sephora today and got Couture Colour's Luxeblend™ Crème Hair Colour With Pequi Glossing Serum in Dark Brown, because I have been dying (har, har) to try a little bit more of an upscale at home dye, and this one doesn't have ammonia.

This is what the kit looks like. It comes with a brush (but no bowl) if you want to apply it that way, or it also has a bottle tip, if that's more your bag. They also include a little vial of pequi oil (whatever the hell that is) to use to condition the hair after coloring. I guess it's like a Moroccan/argan oil. That's what it seemed like to me.

I chose to use the brush application method, because a) I'm a badass, and b) I have a hair color bowl. It actually makes a pretty large amount of dye when mixed. It was really just the perfect amount of product to do an all-over color. I was a little worried (not really) about how the color would turn out, because I had read some reviews on the Sephora website that said all of the colors were darker than the box. Um, duh peeps. It's home hair color. That ish is always darker. And it's called DARK brown. Dark.

Here are my before and after results. I have had some ombre/balayage highlights for several months now, and I'm over it. So I really just wanted to cover them b's up. The afters are an inside and an outside photo. I'm happy with the color. It's a dark brown, which is what I expected, and the color is very even and shiny. And the smell was pleasant (to me anyway) but I actually like the smell of hair dye. I'm a gross weirdo.

I think I have found my new go to hair dye for the periods of time when I want to pretend that I know WTF I'm doing. Are you guys DIY-ers? Or am I the only crazy ass?




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Lazy Blogging: Go Read Something That I Already Wrote

Pic via Allure Magazine

This week, for my Allure blog, I discussed my intense lady love for the beauty stylings of Gwen Stenfani. Click here to check that shizz out!




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True Blood Musings: Let's Get Drunk on Old-Ass Vamp Blood!

This week is brought to you by Russell's Lollipop Guild hair.

Please tell me that this man is wearing a wig. Let's discuss all of this nonsense...

JUMP!


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