Vinny Wants You to Pretend That He's Raping You...

 You can file this under "Ummm, No Thanks." That Vinny dude from Jersey Shore wrote a rap, and TMZ has the romantic lyrics:

"I ain't got a girl ... You ain't got a man ...
I've got a date for ya ... and it's in my pants."

The rap continues: 
"Oh you a fan? You wanna take a pic?
I like your crack girl ... I wanna take a hit.
Yeah I'm takin' it ... I'm a get you naked b*tch ...
We can f**k and make it fit... boomin s**t and slatin' it.
Actin' like I'm raping it ...
f** k her til she fakin' it."

But wait, there's more: 
"If I act like a d*ck ... slap me with your t*ts."

 Seriously? What the eff is this mess? I just can't with any of these Jersey Shore h.a.m. sandwiches. Just go swim in your dirty MTV money like Scrooge McDuck and quit rapping about fake raping b's.

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This is Badassness

Check this ish out. On the boutique website Edgeofurge.com you can make your own feather earrings! Now before you're all, "B, that mess is over with. NEXT!" You can put a bunch of different stuff on them, including UNICORN HAIR. Sign me the eff up!

Here are just a few options you can add. A wolf head? A skull thingy? Go check out all the options.

 

The possibilities are endless! Ahhhhh! What do you guys think? Cute? Or hell to the naaw?

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Just Call Her 'Princess Hot Stoddy'

Get More: Music Videos, Free Music Videos

Our (or my) favorite sweet angel talked with the Fab Life, whatever that is, about some mess the other day. Sexy stuff like: I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, clear bra straps (I wish.). I seriously have no idea what the hell she is talking about. Give us more crazy sexy face, Court! And feathers. More feathers!

P.S. I bet if she took that damn arm band off her ish would be green.


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Oh, What a Great Contempo Casuals Catalog Cover From Circa '97

Pic via E Online Twitter

What? This is Scarlet Johansson's current-day Cosmo cover? Oh, well my stars. This is...Not good. That hair is halfway to dreadlock-ville. If b doesn't take an exit to a VO5 Hot Oil Treatment stat, she is in trouble. Is there not a hair shine tool or something on Photoshop?

Maybe I'm just old (shut your w mouth), but Cosmo is the most vapid publication, ever. Every single story is about sex or love. IS THERE NOTHING ELSE? Bleh.

 But on the real, throw on a choker and I would have DIED for this dress in the late nineties. Verdict? Hot.

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Gaga's Expensive Ass Craziness for Barney's

Have you guys heard about Gaga's holiday line with Barney's? Of course all of the clothes, accessories, even food is crazy, ridic expensive. I saw a chocolate shoe that was $95 or something. What the what? No. But I did fall in love with these press-on nails.

I mean, how friggin' cool are these??? I will not be buying them, because they are $45 per set, but I do think that they are badass. I might attempt to emulate them by raiding a Michael's and gluing crap on some regular, old Lee Press On Nails. Too much? Nah, I'm gaudy trash.

What do you guys think? Are you into this? Or do you think they are too hot to handle; too cold to hold?

P.S. If you are a DGAF richie rich, you can buy the Gaga nails here.

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Sign I'm Old/of the Apocalypse: I Bought More Crap From Old Navy, and I Love it, I Love it, I Love it!

Yes, I just won an award for the longest blog title ever.

Thanks, Zac. Zack? Zak? Whatever. Back to ol' Old (I'm old) Navy. I went there on Black Friday ( I know, what the eff?!?) and I actually got some stuff I really like. Do you guys remember this?



Duh...Of course you do. I actually got the pants that the ginger is wearing in the commercial, which I can't find on the Old Navy website. Boo!!! But these are similar.

Here I am, greasy, sweatyish hair and all! But the pants are aweeee-some. They are tight and the least jiggly-like of any workout pant that I have ever had. And bonus points that I don't have a weird baggy area around the frontal crotchal area, which I frequently have in workout gear. I had to fold them down, because I'm super ridic short, but they stayed that way while I worked out.

The sports bra is also from Old Navy, and is also pretty bad ass. It's padded, but not in a porny way, in a not nippley kind of way. I also couldn't find this on the website, but they do have it in black (which I also bought).

So I give two sweaty thumbs up to this ish! In fact, I'm buying more. I'm fifty. Fifty years old!


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Santa's Little Ho Ho Ho?

You know I'm playing, C. Stodd. All I want for Christmas (and Chanukah/Hanukkah) is you, b! Pin It