So I'm a Little Late to This Ballgame...

I have to say that I am a little biased when it comes to reviewing anything Urban Decay. I live and die for the UD Primer Potion. Period. And I kind of never shut up about it. Move on with business. I also use my Naked Palette almost every damn day. So I was curious about the Smoked Palette that came out a few months ago, and I begged the peeps over at Urban Decay so let me try it.

I like the fact that some of the shadows are matte. I like a palette with a little diversity, ya' heard? And it also comes with a mini Primer Potion (Score, b*tches!) and a full size 24/7 Eye Pencil in Perversion, which I already bought on its own a while back, and have since almost used completely. I love that b, too. It stays on like a mofo.

So here are all of the shadows (and the liner, which is like the blackest black in the world or something). I really like all of the colors. The jewel tones aren't bright or garish, so you won't look like Rainbow Brite assaulted you, or anything. I probably won't use Evidence, the navy-ish, just because blues aren't really my bag. But I have been using the neutrals almost every day for my normal, daytime look and just not using a ton of product. And Loaded, the green-ish color, is super pretty and is almost a gun metal-y green.

Overall, I'm totally co-signing on this beast. If you want to check it out for yourself, you can purchase for $49 at Urban Decay. Get that ish smokin'!


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Obligatory Halloween Post: Crap That Scared Me When I Was a Kid

I effing love Halloween. I love scary ish, costumes, when stuff gets weird -- all of it is awesome to me. And I've always been this way.

Oh, who's that badass witch, complete with wig and possible brown face (yikes)? Yup, that's me. I go all out, even at five. I really tried to find a picture of the year when I dressed up as a birthday cake and made my costume, but it's mysteriously missing. Count yourself lucky.

Anyway, I always loved scary crap, whether it happened around Halloween or not. I LOVED Roald Dahl as a kid, and The Witches was one of my favorite books. And the movie was my total jam, but that ish was scary.

Am I right, or what? Anjelica Huston is a lovely woman, but that b horrified me when I was a kid. A couple of years later, I got into Christopher Pike/RL Stine books. (And don't come to me with that Goosebumps garbage.)

I read so friggin' many of these books in late elementary/middle school. They were all based around teenaged kids with secrets and crap. I can't really remember, but I feel like they were scary versions of Swan's Crossing.



EDIT: I just remember that I WROTE a Christopher Pike-esque book in middle school. It was horrible. (Clearly.)

But something that really scared the ish out of me was Are You Afraid of the Dark?



The sad part is that I was TOO OLD TO BE SCARED OF THIS MESS. I remember CRYING over an episode about a ghost and couldn't sleep, and I was like 15. That is not even appropriate. I am so dumb.



What were you guys scared of when you were kids? I'm still scared of ghosts. Homey don't play that mess.


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An Open Plea to Whoever is Doing Muh Boo, Brit Brit's Makeup.

Let me start by saying this -- I am a ride or die Britney Spears fan. I will cut a b if she talks trash about my boo. So this hurts, but it comes from a good place. I caught Brit on X Factor (don't ask) the other night, and this is what I saw on my 19" TV/VCR combo set.

And this is why I need some contact info on whoever is doing my homegirl's makeup. WHERE ARE YOUR EYEBROWS, MIZZ SPEARS??? I have a suspicion that Britney has been bleaching her brows for the past several years. Because this is what they used to look like.

Hey, there. You look approximately 29384032984 times better with some eyebrows on your damn face, baby. Just lemme pencil them in. Just the tip (of the brow pencil). And please, please take of the choker/thin chain necklaces. We've been trying this look since the dark days of Brit Bootgate in '07.

 Remember those cloven beasts straight from Hell that she wore EVERY DAMN DAY? Okay, okay. I need to calm down. Just let the nice makeup people pencil your eyebrows in. I'm so proud of your ass, though. You're doing great, boo boo.




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Am I Losing My Heart of Coal? -- Lindsay Lohan Edition

A weird thing happened to me today. I was reading about the latest Lindsay Lohan drama, and I noticed something. I felt a twinge of...sadness for her. I mean let's be real, we've all been done with this b for a while now, right? So it prompted me to create The Lindsay Lohan Chart of Feelings.

 Am I crazy, you guys? If I'm losing my c face, I don't even know how I'll live.


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Happy Halloween, Eyeballs!

I've kind of got a thing for Alfred Hitchcock. No, not a sexual thing, weridos. And no, not because his last name is awesome. I remember seeing Dial 'M' for Murder when I was a kid and thinking it was all kinds of badass. So I'm super excited about the upcoming movie Hitchcock, detailing the making of Psycho. The only negative about this whole deal is that it makes me want to watch Psycho, and that ish isn't on Netflix. Which is just effing rude, and makes me want to flick Netflix in the armpit. ( I don't even know what that means.)

But speaking of scary mess, have you guys seen the pictures of the skeleton formerly know as Matthew McConaughey?

pic via daily mail

I know that this nonsense is for a movie role, but holy damn. This is the scariest thing I have ever seen. I'm assuming that the people he is walking with are his parents, and they came to see him because they are concerned for his ass. Look past his mom's glamorous metallic leather jacket and at her expression. B is horrified. I'll pour out a little of my milkshake for my skinny homie later.

Will you guys be into watching Hitchcock? Are you afraid by MMc's ass right now?


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Can I Just Be a B Face for a Minute?

pic via people

I came across this picture of Katherine Heigl over on People's Style Watch (or something). They were saying how Heigs was somehow rocking this look. And I was like:

pic via buzzfeed

Um, no. No, she is not. The dress is FINE (I hate that word.) if you like to be pretty effing boring. But I cannot co-sign on those HOSE (not even tights) and those shoes. I don't even have a problem with brown and black together, I kind of dig it, but there's something very, very elderly about this whole shebang.  And while I'm nitpicking, could the necklace BE (Chandler Bing voice) more of an awkward length for that neckline? And what is that necklace, anyway? It looks like a tribal tramp stamp from the year 2000.

Okay, I'm going to take a nap and take some St. John's Wart to try to get rid of my sh*tty attitude. Maybe I can get this puss off my face. (I love saying that. Best saying, EVER.)



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The Badass B List: Best Ish You Might've Never Heard Of

I am usually trying/reviewing stuff that's pretty effin' mainstream. You know, you can buy it at a convenience store practically. Don't get me wrong -- it's great to have beauty products at the tips of your fingers, but it doesn't always mean they're the best. I have been sent some beauty products to try that I have never, ever heard of before, and ending up being my ride or die homies and I just HAD to put them on my Badass B List.

Me & the Girls' Lavandula Revive Foot Scrub, $24

My feet are rough as hell. I don't ever get pedicures, and I wear INSANE shoes all the time, so it's typically not cute to feel my feet. I got this foot scrub from Me & the Girls, and it is heaven. It has spearmint butter creme base with fine grain organic sugar cane. I kind of want to eat it, but I don't, so I get points for that. All of the MATG products are at least 98% organic, so that is crazy badass. But best of all, this stuff leaves my feet smooth and silky AND super moisturized. Check out the rest of the MATG products here.

Beauty for Real's Illuminating Lip Gloss, $22

I seriously can't even stop with this lip gloss. I haven't stopped wearing it since I got that b. The color I'm wearing above is called Deeply in Love. It starts out as an ox blood reddish, and it fades beautifully into an almost stain. I've never had a gloss texture that I like so much, and that wore so well. It doesn't get clumpy, sticky, uneven, or weird. AND it has a cooling, minty flavor. AND the applicator has not only a mirror, but also a LIGHT on the package. Mess is IN mofo SANE, people. See all the colors here.

Floss Gloss Nail Polish, $8

Hot damn, you guys. My picture does this nail polish ZERO justice. The shade of Floss Gloss shown is Stun, and it is so beyond the friggin' cat's pajamas that is like the cat's tuxedo. All of the polishes have no Dibutyl Phthalate (DBP), no Toluene, no Formaldehyde and no Formaldehyde Resin, so you can rest easy with that mess. I thought when I tried Stun that it was going to be a glittery top coat, because I already had a red polish on my nails. But as you can see, my ass was sorely mistaken. Stun is a full-on glitter polish that was 99% opaque with one coat. My nails look like a sexy, golden Studio 54 ball, and I'm obsessed. See the full range of colors (that I can't wait to try) here.

This is the first installment of The Badass B List, which I will be TRYING to make a thing -- like fetch. So stay tuned for that nonsense.




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