Quick Sh*t: The Best Workout Video, Ever. (No, Not Prancercise.)

I'm kind of obsessed with everything about this video. The dude is one hundred percent a reanimated corpse, and Sandy Duncan's 'fit is KILLING IT. That top looks like it belongs on a child in the casual wear portion of a beauty pageant.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

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True Blood Musings: I Wanna Do Blob Things to You

Well mofos, here we are again. Another season of True Blood kicked off last night, so that means my musing are back. And let me tell you, it really started out with a meh...

Dammit, can't Bill just stay a blob of goo on the ground? His looks would finally match his personality. Where's a vat of Goo Gone when you need one?

We're going to delve into all of the episode, so duh, spoilers ahead. If you're all watched up, and ready to talk about it, follow me after the jump.


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Deal O' Zee Day With Dr. Dennis Gross and QVC

Watch this short video of my ass (not actual ass shots included, and you're welcome) telling you how to use QVC's Today's Special Value, which includes one of my favorite prods of the year, from Dr. Dennis Gross.



After you are finished watching my amazingly informative mini tutorial, go snatch this sh*t up from QVC here. It's for today only, and you're saving roughly one trillion (not an exact figure) dollars.

If you want to find out more about the science of the different Dr. G products and how they all work, get all that good good  info here.



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Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote

via allure

This week for Allure, I ventured into this hot ass weather and how to keep your beauty sh*t tight when it's hot as hell. Go check out Hot Weather Beauty Hacks: Keep It All Together When The Going Gets Hot here.




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Who Wore Nakey(ish) Best? Celebrity(ish) Chippendale Dudes.

I'm sure you guys have read in my What 90210 Stars Are Doing in 2013 and Beyond newsletter that Steve Sanders (or Ian Ziering, if you're nasty) is doing that whole celebrity guest star Chippendales thing this month.

pic via ny daily news

Can we just take a minute to recognize that S.S. is FORTY EFFING NINE years old? Homeboy is looking real, real nice. I'm not super sold on Stevie's wig game, but I never really have been.

I mean, really.

Seeing Eye-an's Chippie pics made me want to reflect on all of the past (loosely-termed) celebrity guest dancers, and put them ween to ween to see who is the hottest of them all. Let us study the evidence.

First up, Jeremy Jackson, of David Hasselhoff's son on Baywatch fame. (Or of meth/Celebrity Rehab fame, if you're a b*tch, like me.)

Okay, well this is...okay. The little bit that is the "costume" is somewhat wonky and ill-fitting, but I'm grateful that THIS Jeremy Jackson isn't being showcased.

what in avril lavigne fan club president hell is this sh*t?

Or, this one, for that matter.

Well, I just went to prison. Let's move on.

How about the Bachelor's Jake Pavelka?

How about not? Let's skip this one. Close your legs, Pavelka. It's quite unbecoming.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. Now ladies, how about that dude from 98 Degrees? Not one of the Lacheys, not that ONE dude. This guy:

...And his child...also in a child-sized Chippendale outfit...I can't even with this. Fast forward.

There's also Sir Ronald of the house of Jersey Shore.

This looks about as bling-y as expected. Plus, he's doing half-assed finger guns. So, half a point?

What about the father of "Whoa," himself, Joey (Joe? Joseph? I'm not up on the news.) Lawrence?

He looks good, but you know I'm super concerned about that eyebrow sitch. You're waaaay into code orange brow territory, broseph. You're single-handedly keeping waxing places open.

What do you b's think? Who wore the bow tie and weird shirt cuffs best?

If you don't love everything about this, namely Swayze's hair and pant's waist level, then I don't love you.






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I'm Changing the Name of This Blog to whatisjustinbieberdoingtoday.com

No, I'm not. BUT I totally could. Because sh*t like this keeps happening.



Lemme break it down for you, here. Not only is baby boo driving a mf-ing LEOPARD PRINT car that everyone on Jerseylicious is super jealous of (is that show still on?), but Biebs needs front and back black SUV coverage while driving. I was just thisclose to making a wildly inappropriate joke about that sentence. If Mama Biebs (who I feel is my age peer) doesn't get this mess under control, I will sign up to Supernanny this b*tch. And there won't be any "You is kind, you is smart, you is important," kind of niceties happening.

Seriously though, I have to get this JB constant talk under control. We have much more important ish to take care of here.

Back to the grind.



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Exfolimate: The Weirdest Sh*t I've Ever Fallen In Love With

look at this b. just plastic and metal, but so badass.

The mates from Exolimate (duh, they're Australian) sent over a kit of their face and body exfoliators to me a couple of weeks ago. When I opened it, I was all, "What the eff is this effery???" I was expecting to find some sponge, or something, when I pulled out these plastic/metal things that looked like they would spread wallpaper paste.

exfolimate, $39.95 for set with face and body

Here's how this mess works -- while showering, you hold it at a 90 degree angle from your wet skin, and apply light pressure as you drag it across the skin's surface. If my description was too sh*tty for you, here's the official rules. You get the idea. It's really easy. I wasn't really expecting much from doing this. But, weirdly, this ish WORKS REALLY, REALLY WELL.

 

I'm mostly crushing on the face one, because it makes your skin feel crazy soft and it's so fast to use. The body one is also pretty boss, but it's a lot more time consuming (no doy) so I use it less. My laziness is well-documented. I'm about that life.

You can get a set for your own self by checking it out here.






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