So This Happened...

According to X17 Online, last night Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, and Lana Del Rey had a sleepover at Chateau Marmont. During this CRAZY, crazy sleepover, they reportedly were "watching old movies and playing board games." Oh, ish! Hold me back. Below is an artist's (my) representation of what happened last night.

Oh, damn. GIRL TALK? This mess just got real.

If Mall Madness was up in that piece, I'm going to be jealous as hell. I wanted Mall Madness SO FREAKIN' BADLY, and my mom said it was too expensive. Sigh. Such a c-block of board game bitchin'-ness.




Pin It

Badass tarte Kit + Helping the Rainforest = Oh Yayer! (Thanks, Outkast.)

The peeps over at tarte sent me the what has your makeup done for you lately? kit to try, which goes on sale tomorrow only on QVC and qvc.com. The kit will sell for $50, and the value is $160. Um, yes please!

The kit contains six products:

LipSurgence lip shine: (See swatch below) I love this lil' guy. It's a lip pencil that is super glossy (for a pencil) and has a minty, yummy flavor. I also love that it has a sharpener in the cap. Yesss'm.

pure maracuja oil rollerball: This is a super-hydrating oil that comes from an Amazonian flower and is very similar to argan oil. I like that it comes in a rollerball top, because it makes it really easy to apply to your face. As an oily-skinned sister, I would probably not use this on days that I wear makeup, and reserve it for days that I'm being a complete hermity, gross blogger.

retoucher flawless finish bamboo foundation brush: This is a foundation brush that will buff your foundation onto your skin by using circular motions. I like this guy, too.

maracuja miracle 12-hr foundation with Broad Spectrum SPF 15: To be honest, I haven't given this b enough time on the ho stroll yet. I got it in the shade for my self-tanned skin, and I'm pale as a mofo right now. It comes in five shades, BT-Dubs. I do like the finish on it. It goes on smoothly and has a slightly dewy finish. But like I said, I haven't worn it all day or anything, so oily peeps use with caution.

modernEYES waterproof creaseless shadow/liner: (See swatches below) This is a little bad b of a pencil that is shadow on one side and liner on the other. It has a kind of purplely/plum undertones, and the shadow especially is a gaw-geous color.

gifted Amazonian clay smart mascara: This mascara is supposed to increase lash volume by 406%. Hell if I know, but I really like this ish. Rashida Jones, Rachel Roy and Krysten Ritter are all big fans of this mascara as well. So you know I'm in if Krysten Ritter like it. (Creepy, much? Yes, I am.)

The best part of the whole deal is that tarte is donating a portion of the proceeds of this makeup kit to the Sustainable Amazon Partnership, which helps promote lasting sustainable management of the Brazilian Amazon Rainforest. Below is a picture of a school that they helped build.

I really like all of the products in this kit, and they fact that part of the proceeds go to a good cause makes them all even better. See, I'm not a completely dark sided b!

Pin It

Lazy Blogging: Go Read Something That I Already Wrote

Pic via Allure.com

My next installment for Allure's Daily Beauty Reporter is up. And this time I talk about my bang journey and stalking Krysten Ritter and Carly Rae Jepsen. Go read it here.



Pin It

Creepy Ass Beauty: I Like to Live Vicariously Through Dolls.

I was kind of a spoiled kid. I had not one, but all three (that was all that was available at the time) of the American Girl dolls -- Kirsten, Molly, and Samantha. My favorite was Samantha, by far. She was a hoity toity b, and came with a freakin' velvet clutch and a fancy ass, albeit somewhat ill-fitting, hat. How can you hate on that ish?

If you guys are feeling a little bit fuzzy on what Samatha looked like, here she is:

Oh, you fancy, huh?

That girl looks guuuurd, right? With ol' Sam (That was her nickname, it was in the story, you guys!) being my favorite toy of my privileged-ass childhood, what's better than finding beauty products that totally make me think of my OG homegirl?

Burberry Brit Eau de Parfum, $72

My first Samantha pick is Burberry Brit perfume. I mean, seriously?!? Boo Boo's dress could have totally been a Burberry print. Plus, she's a fancy b, and Burberry is totally for fancy people.

Smashbox Master Class 11 Meet the Masters Palette, $59

Next up is this badass limited edition palette from Smashbox. Samantha was a painter (you could buy that mess for extra), so this palette would totally speak to her artistic sensibilities. I need this bad boy in my life. Look at all the fun ish you get in this beast!

Amika 4 Piece Interchangeable Barrel Curler Set, $175

Speaking of stuff I want, how freaking cool is this barrel curler set? You can switch out the barrel of the wand to achieve different tightness of curls, ranging from curly Sue to mermaid. Okay, I made that part up, but you get what I'm throwing down here. This is perfect for Samantha, because homeslice had really good hair. It had the perfect amount of wave, and was super shiny. Not like my girl, Kristen. Her mop was a hot mess. Sadness.

LAFCO Tree House (Majestic Oak) Candle, $55

I have a weakness for expensive ass soy candles. This one smells like a tree house, apparently. And that is perfect for Samantha, because according to her American Girl Dolls Wiki page (That exists!!!), "She has a rough side such as climbing trees and feels it is very hard to be a young lady." Anything that costs $55 has to smell amaze, right?

Velvet Bow Stretch Headband, $16

Obviously, Samantha has a strong affection for both velvet and bows (Have you SEEN the size of her head bows?), so this cute Esty headband would be perfect for her. It would also be perfect for me, but that's neither here nor there.

Samantha was one of my first style icons, sadly. Well maybe She-Ra, Stawberry Shortcake (That was a good-smelling b.), or Jem were my FIRST first. Who did you love as a kid? Did you have any American Girl dolls?


Pin It

Feast Your Eyes Moment: Jon Hamm is Sporty Spice

Jon Hamm was obvi playing baseball for some reason or another, that I really can't be bothered with to research. I just know that Don Draper is a hot, hot b.

Speaking of Jon Hamm, if you missed the live epi of 30 Rock this season, watch this ish. Then, you can thank my ass.




Pin It

True Blood Musing: The Supes are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Way to ruin the mood, Sook. Go take a dramamine with some ginger ale or something. Let's talk about this mess of a mess.

JUMP that ish!
Pin It

Breaking News: Hot People Wear Bikinis, Look Hot.

Duh, everyone in the world is a the beach right now. So a plethora of celebrities have either tweeted pictures of themselves or been photographed in bikinis. I, on the other hand, have been alternating between working my retail job and eating a sh*tload of pastries. I'm pretty disgusting.

First up, Heidi Klum tweeted this picture of herself:

Yeah, she looks so gross. Cover that mess up. JK. She looks super hot. Sigh.

Also coming from her own tweet, here's Britney Spears and her young'ns:

Lookin' good, Brit-a-saurus Rex! And it's nice that you gave your hair stylist the holiday off. Sweet.

Next up, in the super posing for photogs category, is Aubrey O'Day. Girlfriend is letting those cheeks fly high on the 4th of Juuuu-ly, honey:

Pic via Daily Mail

Next we have double the hotness with Nicole Sheroiweuroewhatever (I'm not googling that) and Krysten Ritter:

Pic via Huffington Post

Wow, that amazing beach doesn't look NEARLY as fun as me eating potato chips right now. But you know what?

That's Tina Fey's kid, and I want to adopt her. Did you guys do anything fun this week/weekend? Make my ass ever more jealous, please.



Pin It