Lady Gaga Serves Up Her Butt Cheeks With A Slice Of Pizza

via gaga's FB

I am not slut-shaming here when I say that this is too much, Stefani. I've worn some of the whoriest whore outfit in my day, including wearing a shirt as a dress. Ain't no thang, man. In current times, this a little more my speed, but I still feel where you're coming from:

But here's where this all swerves a sharp left for me -- I CAN'T EAT PIZZA WHEN THERE'S AN ASS CHEEK EXPOSED IN THE ROOM. It's the same reason that you won't find me at an all-you-can eat cinnamon bun buffet at a strip club. If I'm a hair (sorry) from seeing a cooch or a b-hole, I just feel strange tearing up some grub in the same room as another person's exposed bathing suit areas. Call me old-fashioned.

Conversely, this doesn't bother me in the slightest:

via gaga's FB

You're clearly at a bar of some sort. Show them Ts, guh. Live your life.

Am I insane with this logic? Do you guys mind eating next to somebody's pair of Mr. Cheeks?



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Let's Talk About Lady Gaga As Of Late.

Lady Gaga performed last night at SXSW (where a girl threw up on her for "art" purposes), and followed up the gig by making an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. After watching this interview, I'm feeling really torn about how I feel about Gaga at this point. I think she's super talented, and I feel like she actually has a sense of humor about herself, but something is bothering me. And it's not the vomit. Or the coffee filter dress. Or the pedicab leotard/fanny pack combo.

What is happening with her voice? It's like she's doing a weird Paris Hilton-esque baby affect, and I can't get behind that. I don't recall this being her typical voice, really, ever. Is she just trying something out, like the Madonna British thing? Maybe she had some dental work done? Maybe it's coffee filter reverb? Whatever the case, I hope this shit's not permanent. No one likes a sexy baby.

And speaking of lady pop angels that live on earth, if you've been wondering what Brit Brit has been up to (OF COURSE YOU HAVE), here's your answer.

via us magazine

She's trying out for Silver Linings 2: Metallic Bugaloo. Or roasting delicious new potatoes in there. Either way, she's perfect.






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Awkward Celebrity Photos: Starring A Fake (???) Brit Brit, Gaga, And Co-Starring Celebrity Dudes

Lady Gaga tweeted this weekend about going to see Brit Brit's Vegas show, and later posted this picture of the two of them (ALLEGEDLY) on her website. But something is really, really weird here...

via littlemonsters.com

I feel like I'm looking at either a) celebrity impersonators, or b) a Britney Spears and Lady Gaga wax figures shoved next to each other. I call shenanigans on what is being called Brit's face. NOPE. This whole picture feels like ten pounds of weirdness shoved into a creepy five pound bag. Go call the guv-nah, because this sh*t is fishier than the Little Mermaid's birthday party guest list.

This isn't even the end of the celebrity strange. Here's the odd combo of Leonardo Dicaprio (in that f*cking HAT), Bradley Cooper (looking straight mid-2000s), and Lenny Kravtiz (wearing a possible choke collar).

via lk's facebook page

This picture is just begging for a game of bang, marry, kill, so shall we? Here's what I'm thinking:

• Bang -- Leo, because I wouldn't want to live with him. He seems like he would be really particular about where you put his dumb hats and would have a refrigerator filled with only roasted star fruit, or some sh*t.
• Marry -- Lenny. He's hot, seems pretty cool and non-irritating, except for the fact that he's hanging out with these two.
• Kill -- Bradley, because I just have a feeling about that homeboy. He always has semi-to-full douche face. And he goes by BRADLEY.

Now you guys play. What are your choices for bang, marry, kill? And is Britney's face looking super un-Brit-Brit-like, or am I insane in the mf-ing membrane (again)?

Tell me all these things.




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Oh, Where's R. Kelly Been? Just Being Awkward As Eff With Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga was apparently on SNL this weekend, and one of the songs she performed was "Do What U Want," which happens to feature the illustrious R. Kelly. Full disclosure -- I like this song, and really most songs on L.G.'s new album. I also, on occasion, think about R. Kelly's life (What can I say, I love the remix to "Ignition," but hate the original "Ignition."), and what he's been up to since all that peeing on minors business.

Clearly, what the Kells has been up to is awkward ass choreography to his duet with Gaga. And weird pantsuits. Seriously, these two have the sexual tension of a three day old tuna salad sandwich and a room temperature glass of milk. 'Tis not getting hot in hurrr, you guys.



I totally know where Gaga got the inspiration for this performance.



Blasphemy.






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Explain This Ish to an Old Person -- Is This New Lady Gaga Video Good?

I would like to start out by saying that I originally typed "food" instead of "good" when I typed that title. Howngray b, party of one? But seriously, young bucks, is this supposed to be a good song? Am I supposed to be poppin' that ass to this? I'm confused. And hungry, and then more confused. And also have a strong case of the olds.

P.S. I WANT to like this mess. I mean, it's called CAKE for God's sake. (Nursery rhymes, be damned.)


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So This Happened...

According to X17 Online, last night Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, and Lana Del Rey had a sleepover at Chateau Marmont. During this CRAZY, crazy sleepover, they reportedly were "watching old movies and playing board games." Oh, ish! Hold me back. Below is an artist's (my) representation of what happened last night.

Oh, damn. GIRL TALK? This mess just got real.

If Mall Madness was up in that piece, I'm going to be jealous as hell. I wanted Mall Madness SO FREAKIN' BADLY, and my mom said it was too expensive. Sigh. Such a c-block of board game bitchin'-ness.




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