Listen.

Pic via Huffington Post

I like this mess, because it looks like it's straight outta Compton Contempo Casuals circa 1998. That was my mother effin' heyday, so you know how you get stuck in that ish. Good job, Miley. You are super reppin' the late 90's like a serious boss.


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Oh, Lana del Rey...

Lana del Rey just released her new music video for National Anthem, in which she portrays herself as Jackie O or something. I love any retro, grainy-type ish, so I'm pretty into it.

But here's my deal. I just can't decide if this b is my soul mate, and I want to split a Fun Dip with her, or if I want to slap the pout out of her face. Lannie can rock some talons, though. That is one thing of which I AM certain.

What are you guys feeling on this?



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My Next Allure Daily Beauty Reporter Post: At Home Spa Ish.

Photo via Allure

Go check out my next Allure blog post, Have a Freakin' Fabulous Spa Day, Without Leaving the House! 



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I'm Not a Parent...

And if I were, I would probably be a half sh*tty one, but I am not okay with this.

Willow Smith has pierced her little 11 year old tongue. I'm totally down with the hair whipping back and forth, the head shaving, and such. I was certainly no angel (Yes, I was! If my family is reading this.), but 11 is freakin' redonk for starting with piercings. What is that? Fifth grade or some mess? I at least had the decency to wait until I was 15 or 16 to sneak out and get my belly button pierced! (I'm old fashioned that way. It was like '96. That's how we rolled back then.)

Send that little sweetheart to get a henna tattoo (which I wasn't allowed to do) or get a hair wrap. That was my jam in middle school.

Am I being an old b here? Are you guys on board with this ish?

Update: Willow Smith is saying that it's a fake tongue ring. We can all unclench now. I totally feel her, because when I was 11 I had fake glasses, a fake broken arm in a sling, and a fake retainer made from a paperclip. (No wonder my teeth aren't straight.)



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True Blood Musings: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

 Some people are making big changes 'round here (thanks, Counting Crows), so let's talk about this ish. Don't look at this picture of Eric for too long. You might burn your retinas.

JUMP! JUMP!

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Yo, I Can Do at Home Gel Manicures Like a Boss!

Red Carpet Manicure Pro Kit, $79.99

This is the good good, you guys. I can't lie -- I was super skeptical on the whole gel-manicure-at-home deal. I had heard about it, but I was all, "I've had a gel manicure in the salon. And that ish is the bizzle. It can't be like that." Then the good peeps over at Red Carpet Manicure sent me the Pro Kit to try.

It includes all the stuff you need: the light thingy, and all of the steps involved in the whole process, including a basic red shade of the gel polish. But here's the thing -- I kind of suck at painting my nails. I'm of the theory that one can paint the whole top part of one's finger, then peel everything off the skin around after the polish has dried. Yep, I'm very professional in life. So I was pretty unsure if I could do this mess. But guess what? I did it! And ish looked guuuuurrrd. Who's got a cookie for my ass?

The manicure lasted about two weeks for me, until it grew out. It was pretty much just like the gel manicure I have had a few times in the salon. I think at the $80 purchase price is well worth it, when you think about the fact that each gel manicure is over $20. They also sell more colors, and they can even be purchased at Ulta. I'm going to buy more tomorrow, because I'm a total makeup hoarder.

P.S. I would have taken a picture of my hands, but I just took the polish off a day ago. AND I'm lazy. AND my hands look like a 95 year old woman's. (I'm all veiny. It's gross. Trust, I'm saving you on this one.)



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You Know How You Know I'm Old?

Pic via OK Magazine

This ish is hot again.

P.S. You b's are lucky that I'm too old to wear overalls in this piece.


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