Eva Longoria has been divorced from that Tony Parker dude for a while now. So she's apparently getting her THREE tattoos that are dedicated to his ass lasered off, which seems like a good idea. One is even allegedly near/on/in close proximity to her lady business/swimsuit area. So here's the thing, E Long. One should probably not get a gentleman's name tattooed on any no-no spot. If that mess doesn't work out -- which it did not in this case -- that's just a sticky-icky sitch down there. (Gross. Sorry.) How are you supposed to get on with your life, and read your book club book in the tub or whatever, when you keep seeing ol' guv'nor's name all up in your place?
So ladies, (I'm looking at you, too, Angie Jolie. BILLY BOB THORNTON? Really?) can we please stop tattooing guys' names on our flowery bits? If you're feeling crazy, go vajazzle yourself until your heart's content. And for that, Eva, you and your ex-man tattoos are the GUUUURL of the day.
I have been straight up obsessed with Lana lately. I don't know WTF my deal is, so I did a little LDR tutorial. Oh, and Lana, we all know that your lips aren't "bee stung." Quit playing, boo.
And then watch Lana's new (controversial) video for Ride. I can't quit this b.
This is a clip fromNight of Too Many Stars, which airs on Comedy Central on Sunday, and is an Autism benefit featuring different celebrities doing stuff (I'm such a prolific writer). The video is a duet of Katy Perry and Jodi DiPiazza, who is a child with Autism, singing Firework while Jodi plays the piano. This ish is touching as hell, so don't watch it if you want to retain your b face status at work (or wherever -- I'm not up in your life like that) today. But seriously, watch it. It's sweet as a mofo.
This is ALLEGEDLY a picture of Ke$ha, but I'm calling shenanigans on that mess. I mean, her lady flower is covered up with fabric that isn't made from fishnet! She's wearing a BUTTONED UP COLLAR! HER HAIR IS FRESHLY LAUNDERED! She has an effin' blow out. No, this is not Ke$ha. This isn't even Kesha. I think that this is Stephanie Pratt from The Hills.
AmIright? Someone hurry and get Ke$ha some glitter before this ish gets out of hand. Is there a glitter and dirt shortage right now? Maybe that would explain it. I officially look 250% dirtier than Ke$ha right now. What is happening???
When the Fugees were singing that song, this is NOT what I had in mind. Yesterday was Wyclef Jean's 43rd birthday, and this is how he celebrated -- posing for his own Wyclef + Motorcycles + Baby Oil = Hey Sexy (or not) 2013 Calendar. He's taking pre-orders now, people. Get enough for everyone you know, will be selling like cold cakes.
We are not ready for your jelly, Wyclef. Not ready. It's too much.
