Listen, Ke(I wish I had a cents sign on my keyboard)ha...

Nude hosiery are not a substitute for pants. Not even on the fence about this one. Even Lindsay Lohan is all, "Bitch, please." on this.

P.S. I can see too much. Things that can't be unseen. Pin It

Ummm...Al?

I'm pretty sure you rolled up a dinner napkin and tied it around your head and wore it to the Tony Awards. Is that what is happening here? This is like when I was a kid and I tied a bandana like a sling and acted like my arm was broken. I feel crazy in my brains right now. I need a Fruit Roll Up and a nap.

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You Need This: An Absolute Makeup Staple

I literally cannot live without this. If you have eyelids, and you wear makeup on them, you freaking need this.

Urban Decay Primer Potion is my down ass b. I look like complete ish without this. I'm am, I do believe, the oiliest person on the face of the planet. Nothing can shut down those oil rigs. (More on that another day.) But even if you aren't oilier than the pet duck from the football field on Saved By the Bell (Please tell me someone remembers this???), you need this. It makes eyeshadow stay ALL DAY. And I mean all day. Not some half-assed day. It also makes colors more vibrant. Seriously, go buy this. If you don't like it, you can punch me in the face. Thoughts? And don't tell me about some lid primer you like better, because I ain't hearing it!

EDIT: Do yourself a favor and get the version that's in a tube. Don't get the hard, genie bottle-shaped tube. You can't get even half the product out of that one, and you will literally have to butcher knife that b open to get the rest out. It's not cute. Stick with the tube, so we can all be lazy together. Pin It

We Have a Problem

I did a google image search of "Real Housewives" and this is one of the images that came up. Whatever, it works.

See why I hate my (TV viewing) life after the jump.

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Let's Talk About Weave...

As I mentioned a few days ago, I am a Sally Beauty Supply w. And there is one an only reason for that. I am completely addicted to clip-in hair weave. These are the extensions I get, and I dye them to match my hair. So let's get real first and see the actual blah-ness of my actual hair.

I will say two things about these pictures. 1. I took these this morning, and I hadn't even brushed my hair. So it looks slightly more gross than normal. (Give me a break, it's freaking Sunday.) 2. I was not aware of the tragedy that is the apparent double chin that I have. I will give that immediate attention; trust. So c'mon after the jump to see the magical extension tour.
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I Just Can't: Stiletto Nails Edition

I'm totally into pushing the envelope, and trying new things (fashion-wise; don't get crazy), but I just can't with this one. I first noticed this trend with Rihanna a while back, and I chalked it up to that crazy Rihanna and her crazy little orphan Annie wigged craziness. But guess what, guys? Stiletto Nails are an actual thing, now.

I just can't get behind this one. I can understand crazy nails. I lived through the late 90's, when my nails were approximately six inches long, chocolate brown, and matched my chocolate brown lipstick (and lip liner, OF COURSE). But this is just the peak of the cray cray in the nail department. Let's take a closer look.


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Hey Guys, I Have a New Best Friend

I want to time travel back to the 90's and befriend this kid "Beaches" style (I'm Mayiam Bialik, obvs.) and have him out-Vogue the crap out of me. Jealous.

Check out the video. Pin It