Get Ready To Save All Of Your Vegan Tears In A Decorative Mason Jar: Jared Leto Cut Off His Magical Hair And Beard

Tweets by @DavidAyerMovies

Drown you sorrows in all of the world's cold quinoa and kale salads -- Jesus Leto is no more. Jared cut off all of his hotness for a role in something called Suicide Squad, which is apparently a movie based on a comic. And homie is playing the Joker.

Don't get me wrong, Jared Leto is hot no matter what. He could put a rancid octopus on his head and still be sexual AF. But I like my Leto one of two ways: Catalano or scruffed up.

What do you think? Are you into this sleek shit? Tell me all of your feelings on everything.







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It's What You've Been Missing In Your Life: The Sexy Ass Jared Leto Hair Tutorial

via gq.com

Oscars night was the straw that broke the sexy-haired camel's back. I had coveted Jared Leto's hair for the last damn time. So, I have created a tutorial for Leto's look. Now all of our head hairs can look like a flawless man's mane. Or something.






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BREAKING NEWS: Models Rejected Our Boyfriend, Jared Leto.

It's currently New York Fashion Week (and also Valentine's week), but that didn't stop a couple of models with ice-cold hearts from rejecting the world's prettiest man, Jared Leto. Here's what happened, from Page Six:

Jared Leto struck out Tuesday when he asked a female friend to help him ask for two models’ phone numbers at a Fashion Week bash.
The Oscar-nominated “Dallas Buyers Club” star was chatting with and “twirling around” the models at Guess’ On the Road to Nashville party.
Later, Leto sent his friend over to get their numbers. But, to his surprise “They said no,” our spy reports.

THEY SAID NO. NO.  Listen, models, I know you're all model-y and hot, and therefor it's great for you to use some discretion when giving out your number, and sh*t. I'm not in that gorgeous creature life, so I can't judge you for that. But this is Jared Leto.

Maybe you don't follow him on Instagram, so you couldn't be instantly charmed by his vegan pancake flipping video.



And you're models, so I'm assuming you are of a ripe, young age, so maybe you've been caught unaware with the likes of JORDAN mf-ing CATALANO.

I guess it's possible that you're allergic to flannel and corduroy, or something, but take a Benadryl and solider the eff on. Us normals are counting on you, hot models, to take a seat on the Leto Express. If you don't, we run the risk of acts of domestic terrorism like this happening:

via j's instagram

This is NOT an option.

P.S. Leto, you might need to re-up on your game techniques. You sent a friend over to simultaneously get two girls' numbers after you twirled around them. You're in the big leagues now. This ain't some Angela Chase sh*t.



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