Sometimes I have high hopes for myself in life. These are rare bursts of positivity, but they do happen occasionally. Most recently, I decided that I could save shitloads of money on beauty products through couponing. (Yeah, I had just watching that gluttonous terror of a show Extreme Couponing, but whatever.)
So I ripped out a sad sack stack of coupons and went to CVS. They were having a buy one, get one half off sale on a lot of the cosmetics, so I thought I could save more that way. That's how you do these kinds of deals, right? Right???
Well, I effed up right off the bat.
I found the Sally Hansen Color Foil polish that I've been looking for for a couple months, and it was zero percent off with exactly zero coupons. It was $7.79, and I had to have it. I think that you can tell that I'm going to suck a big one at couponing. (Blatant foreshadowing alert.)
Before I move on to my other coupon happenings, let's talk about this polish. Basically, I wanted a unicorn, and I got a horse with wearing a party hat. Which is still cool and shit, just not slap-someone-across-the-face-with-white-satin-gloves-due-to-excitement cool. I really wanted this polish to be ridiculously shiny. Like, I could catch light and sear people's eyeballs with my nail beds, shiny. Maybe even do it to myself accidentally, then be forced to wear a badass eyepatch, like I've always wanted. That didn't happen. It's pretty much a touch shinier than the Revlon Top Speed Polish in Sterling.
But here's the bigger issue -- because the instructions tell you not to use a base or top coat, this shit is already scratched. And I painted my nails, like, three hours ago. But, it did dry really friggin' fast.
Don't get it twisted after all of my light-to-moderate bitching, I still like the polish, and will totally use it. Just don't expect to cry tears of joy when you see our wedding announcement in the New York Times. I probably won't even send it a Garfield valentine.
Now let's get back to the point of this whole freaking post. I DID actually end up using a couple coupons. I had a $1 off any Maybelline lip product, so I went with the Maybelline Sensational Lipcolor in Deepest Cherry, which was $7.99 originally. After the coupon and $1.50 in Extra Care bucks I had, the final price came to $5.49. Meh.
I was actually pleasantly surprised with the texture of this lipstick. It's creamy and moisturizing, but not feather-y, and it doesn't wear off in a weird and blotchy way, but the pigmentation is pretty mediocre. When I picked the shade, I was expecting a deep-ass wine-y/black cherry/(Ron) burgundy color, and when applied, it's more of a berry/raisin/sangria. I'm not mad at it, but, once again, I'm not filled with a burning lust. It's nice. It's fine. Whatever.
All of the Maybelline cosmetics were part of that whole buy one, get one half off sale that I was blathering on about earlier, so I still had to pick another product. I also had a $3 off any Maybelline Dream something-or-other product, so I grabbed the Maybelline Dream Bouncy Blush in Peach Satin, which had a retail price of $7.79. So, after the 50% off thing and the coupon, I paid $.89 for this mofo. Yay-ish!
I like this stuff. I'm not a cream blush connoisseur, due to my oily gross-assness, but this has more of a gel-like texture. It wears well, and didn't make my skin feel significantly more like a greasy bag o' french fries. The color choices are pretty, and it's easy to apply: just dab it on with one of your digits, and go fly a kite or something, I don't know your life. The biggest drawback is that, after using it just once, I feel like I have already used a lot of the product. The dome-y part is already indented, so it's not going to last a hella long time at this rate. Be warned, at al.
Here's the bottom line of my non-extreme couponing non-extravaganza -- I saved $9.40 and spent about $20 on a measly-ass three items. File that shit under "not impressive" in your filing cabinet, and lock it up tight. The sad thing is that I also had a couple of Rimmel coupons, but I only wanted some of those badass Kate Moss lipsticks, and those weren't included. I also had a L'Oreal coupon that I found crumpled up in the bottom of my purse when I got home. So, I clearly I'm the actual worst at trying to be fiscally responsible, and I won't be quitting my day job. If I had a real, adult-like, full-time day job. Iyanla, fix my damn life.