My Crusade to BFF Up Jennifer Lawrence, Part Honey Boo Boo

This isn't the first time I have realized that I am awkwardly in love with Jennifer Lawrence. This time, she tells Jay Leno how she got into a car accident because she thought she saw Honey Boo Boo.

via f*ckyeahlizlemon

Oh, how I love J Law.

P.S. Can I tell you b's something? I'm afraid I will HATE Honey Boo Boo next season. It's a big phobia for me right now. Like you know when something is awesome, and then the thing realizes it's awesome, and then it's kind of absolutely terrible? I think that's happening.

P.P.S. You know what's always kind of terrible? Jay Leno.

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Random (Holiday) Homie: Yves Saint Laurent Holiday Set

Sephora, $65 value of $107

Ermahgerd, you guys. I actually scored an item from my Never Gonna Get It list!

Don't worry -- I love to be six months late on web trends.

Sephora sent over the YSL Holiday Set for me to try, which includes the Touche Eclat, which I have not been shy about obsessing over. The set includes:

An ultra glam holiday set featuring Touche Éclat N°2, Golden Gloss N°10, a mini Mascara Volume Effet Faux Cils in black, and a mini waterproof eye liner in black—all presented in a beautiful makeup bag.

The makeup bag is the perfect size for a crazy/hoarder-ish/I-have-a-major-lip-gloss-problem person like myself to keep in my purse. For some, it might be a great makeup-I-use-everyday bag. The eyeliner is GORGEOUS. It's deep, inky black and goes on insanely smooth. Like Al Green music smooth.  The lip gloss is crazy shiny and glittery.

It kind of tastes fruity, and isn't sticky. It makes my lips feel like a sexy Studio 54 party, but even glossier and with extra glitter. And when it comes to my new boyfriend, Touche Eclat, I have to say that it totally lives up to my expectations. Because I am an oily beast, I use it over a primer, but it totally brightens up my under eye area like the bossiest of bosses. It alone retails for $40, so I feel like the set it a great value. The last piece of the kit is a mini mascara. It's very volumizing and lengthening, and the best part? IT SMELLS LIKE ROSES.



LIKE ROSES, people. You don't get more luxury than that. Check out the set for your own damn self, here.



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Random Homie: LUSH's Blousey Shampoo

LUSH, $25.95

I know I just talked about another LUSH product, but I'm in love with a non-stripper. (Of your hair, sick brains!) I was dying to try Blousey, the new LUSH 'poo for LLDH (Ladies who love dying their hair, duh.), and they graciously sent me a sample. The texture is very different from any shampoo I've used before -- it's kind of lumpy and thick. Which, to me, makes it all the more fun. It just FEELS like your mama and them made it in their home laboratory, or something. And it smells kind of like a chocolatey banana. I have to stop myself from grabbing a spork and taking a taste. Because I exclusively use golden-plated sporks to eat things. It gets pretty sudsy for a bananarama-packed product, and it still really gets my ol' greasy mop clean. I am really loving on this stuff hardcore. My hair feels soft, clean, and smells like the Bluth Banana Stand.

So, in other words, I give it a dancing David Silver. 'Tis the highest honor of them all.

via 90210gifs

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"Crazy Pants Bieber" Strikes Again.

I was perusing this story on The Daily Mail about blah blah blah Biebs and Selena Gomez reuniting blah blah blah. I didn't even have one eff to give about all of that mess, until this photo turned my heart to ice:

pic via dailymail

What the muther eff? Did baby Bieber not have supervision when he was getting dressed, and accidentally wore his mom's upside down sweatshirt as a pair of pants? What the disgusting are those things? They are exactly one million times worst than the last ones! Even Selena, in the background, is all, "Did that weird cult-y lady leave yet?" Let's have a look at the back (if you're brave enough), shall we?

via dailymail

I can't even belieb (groan) that this is really happening. If things such as these are truly being manufactured, forget the death of Twinkies, THIS is the true sign of the apocalypse.

I'm going into my "safe chamber" until this is all over.

P.S. My safe chamber is my couch, wearing nearing-decade-old Juicy pants and dirty hair. Don't tell anyone.




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TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS.

via gooodforyouu

Do you have so kind of crazy/non-crazy/weird/boring beauty problem? I want to try to solve that mess for you. Let me be your Bounty-quicker-picker-upper to your beauty spill. I'ma twerk it for you.

Either comment on this post, Facebook me, Tweet me, or email me (shannon@glossanddirt.com). I've got your back, boo.



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Random Homie: Deborah Lippman Forsaken Sookie Sookie Nail Lacquer Duo

I originally got this Deborah Lippmann Forsaken Sookie Sookie Nail Lacquer Duo from my friends over at HSN a few months ago. (Reppin' my hood...They're right down the street from me. Heeeeeey, boos!) And in a total d*ck move, I completely forgot to even try it until they were WAAAAAY sold out of the set over at HSN. 

That ish is rude as hell, and I apologize. What a crap beauty blogger I am. And True Blood fan. And person...

The two polishes in the kit include: Human Nature (mortal putty taupe), and Fairydust (ethereal shimmer). I have never used a Deborah Lippman polish before, and let me say, that mess is pretty freaking amazing. The polish is thick in a luxury way, not an "old, gross nail polish I found under my couch" way. The coverage is great, and I love both of these colors. I currently have a human hand and a fairy hand, and I'm totally into it. I can't wait to accumulate one million more DL polishes. Awwww Sookie, Sookie, now. HSN had the set at an amazing price ($25), but if you still want to get down to True Blood town with this set, it is available here from Nordstrom for a few more buckaroos.

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Reason Number 3,483,983 That Judge Judy is My Boo Thang

pic via huffingtonpost

I am completely and utterly into Judge Judith Scheindlin. She's the sassiest b that ever b-ed, and I cannot get enough of her. But apparently, I'm a terrible stalker, because I MISSED HER 70TH EFFING BIRTHDAY. It was in October, and she shared some of her B-day festivus photos on that Katie show. And here her Honor is, in a BIKINI, like a mofo boss. And guess what? B looks guuuurd. JJ says she keeps the sexy strong with diet and exercise. Oh, please. You know she burns 99% of her calories with sass alone.

via mrhankey

Werk, JJ.



And cheeseballs.




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